Twisted Justice
by MysteryFan15
Summary: A traumatic event from Timothy McGee's childhood resurfaces with a case.  When McGee goes missing can the team figure out what's going on before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

**I am half-way finished with the story and hope to post a chapter every other day. Just finishing the editing and making sure it all fits together and makes sense. This is my first attempt at fanfiction. Please let me know what you think. **

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"Get out I don't want to see you again until we're done with this case."

McGee's shoulders slumped and he wished he could drop into a hole. He had just messed up a second case in roughly a one week. He was seriously off his game and he couldn't blame Gibbs for being furious. He was pretty sure Abby wanted to kill him, and that was still over the last mistake.

"Wh-where do you want me to go?" McGee stammered.

"Go home before you mess up again." Gibbs snapped without looking up.

McGee didn't move he was too shocked. Gibbs looked up and stared at him. "Are you waiting for an escort out McGee?"

"No-no boss. " Since he was already in this deep he may as well ask. "Can I come back Monday?"

"Someone will let you know when the case is over and you can set foot in this office again."

Tim winced, if they let him back was what it sounded like. He had no choice though; he started to gather his things. He risked a look at Tony and Ziva. Tony was careful not to look at him. Ziva glanced up, but her face was so full of fury he wished he hadn't seen it at all. He walked to the elevator and pushed the button.

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**Thanks so much for reading, new chapter soon! **


	2. Chapter 2

**1 week earlier**

It was almost time to leave for the weekend and team Gibbs was excited to have a break. Everyone was just finishing up some paperwork when the inevitable happened.

"Grab your gear, dead marine in a hotel outside of Norfolk, McGee gas the truck." Everyone groaned inwardly.

"Great" Tony muttered "dead marine on a Friday means no weekend for Tony."

"You say something DiNozzo?"

"On your six boss."

Four hours later found the crime scene processed and the MCRT back at the Navy yard.

"Hey McGeek" Tony threw a paper ball at him, "you got anything yet?"

"Not yet" he glared at Tony. "I should be down helping Abby with the laptop found at the scene."

"You can help our Gothic princess when you finish up here McHurry."

Ziva smirked. Tim's computer dinged.

"Talk to me" Gibbs said walking up.

Tim started, "Corporal Jason Carrol has been stationed at Norfolk for the last year. During that time he's made several phone calls every month to this number." He clicked the records up on the screen and then flashed to a bank statement. "All of the phone call coincide with large deposits he made to his account."

"Meeting someone to get the money Boss?" Tony asked.

"That's why they pay us DiNozzo, to find out."

"Uhh maybe if I could look on his laptop…" Tim trailed off and looked hopeful.

"Go" That one word sent McGee off. Tony and Ziva chuckled.

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"Hey Abby mind if I jump on the laptop?" McGee asked Abby when he entered; she had her back turned to him.

"You can do whatever you want McGee." He frowned. "Come on, your not still mad about me missing the concert are you? I told you I was doing paperwork here."

She whipped around with her hands on her hips. "You weren't here all night."

"Well, no…"

"Then you could have come." With that she spun back around, the matter clearly settled in her mind.

McGee sighed. "Abby, I'm sorry."

"Whatever, I'm going to get the rest of the evidence since someone didn't bring it to me." She shot a glare his way.

"Sorry Abs, Gibbs was breathing down our neck for some information." The last words were said to her back as she stormed to the evidence garage.

She was back soon. "Where is the evidence?"

"I signed off on it and left it with the agents down there."

"Its not there" she countered.

McGee paled, "What?"

"Its gone and you were the last person to see it so I'm holding you responsible."

Unfortunately protocol and most importantly Gibbs agreed. McGee was the last to see and sign off on the evidence. He spent hours retracing every step, no one in the evidence garage had seen it and the security video showed nothing.

"_Come on,_ he thought e_vidence can't just get up and walk away, it has to be somewhere. I'm not that careless, I know I followed protocol, it should be here!_"

McGee spent a miserable weekend alternated between looking for the missing evidence, being teased by Tony, dodging glares from Abby and Gibbs, and sorting through Carrols laptop. The only useful thing he found was going to lead him to infinitely more work. Carrol had some encrypted email on his laptop which were very advanced and would hopefully give the team some sort of lead. Sunday night they were running on fumes without much to show for it so Gibbs sent them home to get some sleep before the start of the week.

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McGee got home and dropped his stuff on the floor, all he could think of was his shower and bed. He passed his answering machine and saw it blinking. He hit the button and headed to the bedroom, Y_ou have 20 unheard messages,_ the automated voice announced. _What the…?_ The words that filled the air stopped him in his tracks.

_Hey you freak. Thought you could hide from me? Well I found you and this time I'm gonna make you pay. I want you to suffer; you deserve to suffer for what you did…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for the reviews and interest in the story. :) Sorry the chapters are short and I didn't post sooner, things have been crazy. Still making sure everything makes sense. It does in my head now I just have to make sure it comes out on my computer! I appreciate the feedback**

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**Monday morning**

"Thought I told you to get some sleep McGee."

"I did Boss"

Gibbs glared clearly not believing him. The truth was he hadn't slept _much_. He had listened to those messages over and over. Then when he shut off the machine he could still hear them in his head, replaying in his mind. His father would be furious, how many times had he told him not to dwell on it, it wasn't his fault there was nothing he could do.

McGee buried himself in Carrols laptop again and was soon rewarded.

"Hey Boss, Carrol was meeting with a Matt Teal an hour before he died. It was in one of those encrypted emails."

Not to be caught flat-footed Tony immediately started scrambling for answers. "Corporal Matthew Teal, he and Carrol are in the same unit and hey look at this he owns a Colt revolver, same caliber that killed Carrol. Ladies and gentleman, it looks like we have a winner!"

"Go get him."

Tony and Ziva left and Gibbs and McGee got back to work. It wasn't long before Gibbs' phone rang. "Yeah, Gibbs."

"Uh, Boss"

"You better have him DiNozzo."

"In a way. He went missing yesterday but had just turned up and we have a new crime scene, bring your body bag."

"On our way, McGee, call Ducky."

They arrived at the crime scene, a large lake just outside the base. Police were milling around and there was an ambulance nearby, they soon found Tony and Ziva.

"I thought you said was dead Tony?"

"Huh?" Tony caught his glance at the ambulance. "Oh yeah Teal is dead, that's for the kids."

"What children Anthony?" Ducky asked just arriving.

"Apparently some kids were playing on the ice, it broke and they fell through. That's how Teal's body was found, there was blood on the ice where he was shot and then dragged."

Nobody noticed the blood drain from McGee's face. "Are the kids ok?" He asked quietly.

Ziva responded sadly, "Two are dead, the girl is on her way to hospital, but it is unlikely she will recover."

Everyone was silent for a moment. Gibbs finally pulled out of it. "Ok Tony bag and tag, McGee sketch, Ziva door to door talk to witnesses." McGee didn't move.

"McGee!" McGee slowly turned, "Sketch now!" He nodded and headed for the dead marine, but he couldn't take his eyes off the hole in the lake, now roped off. He knew he was supposed to be sketching but he couldn't help himself. He walked up to one of the officers.

"They're dead?" He asked numbly.

The officer turned around. "Yeah, two boys and a girl, just too late for them." There was a tear in the corner of his eye. "Weren't even 10 years old yet, too young. The girl was taken to the hospital, but I don't think she'll make it. The worst part, they could have been saved." The officer beside him nodded, "Yup, that's the part that pisses me off."

"What do you mean?" McGee asked.

The second officer answered "There was a man standing not more than 20 feet away when the ice broke. He just froze up, not for too long but long enough. He could have pulled them out and probably saved them."

Tim felt like he was going to cry or throw up or both. All he could do was nod and head toward the crime scene. He went on autopilot as the team processed the scene. Teal had also been shot in head but the weapon was nowhere to be found. Ducky estimated time of death to be early that morning.

McGee was having trouble concentrating even as Ducky talked. Flashbacks spotted his consciousness. _Water everywhere. Breathing, heartbeat in his ears. Shouting, trying to breath_. He was so preoccupied he missed Ducky's look of concern when he stumbled, but the quickly righted himself and focused so it didn't happen again.

Back at NCIS he made an excuse to stay away from the evidence, just to be sure this time. The rest of the day was spent tracking down Teal family and going over witness statements. Tony and Ziva searched Teal's home on base but came up empty, his Colt revolver was locked safely away and showed no signs of being fired recently. Late in the evening McGee made an excuse to go home for a few hours. He really just needed a few hours to himself to process the day. He wasn't alone for long, his answering was full of messages, all from the same person.

_I'm watching you McGee, everyday, you can't hide from me. You are the lowest piece of filth on the planet._

_How can you live with what you did, you don't deserve to be alive._

_If it was anyone it should have been you. I'm going to make you suffer. You deserve to suffer_

Tim sighed as the messages began to play and grabbed a folder of old newspaper clipping. He spread them on the counter to study what he'd already memorized.

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**Please let me know what you think and how I can improve. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**So, so, so sorry this is so late! I haven't had internet access for a few days. :( I think this is a good chapter though so hopefully it will make up for my tardiness. :) Please let me know what you think. **

**I so appreciate the reviews, thank you again!**

**Tuesday**

McGee got to work early on Tuesday and, as much as he hated to, he headed down to Abby's lab.

"Hey Abby, I came to work on the laptop?" No answer, but he knew she had heard him. Acting like a 2 year old, not one of her more appealing traits, still he could hardly blame her. It was probably a sign of how much Abby cared for Tim that she hadn't killed him yet. They worked in silence for an hour. Tim was about to say something when he got a call.

"McGee, MTAC now." McGee started shutting down the computer going as fast as he could. He was still late to MTAC, a man was already on the screen. McGee's jaw dropped when he saw who it was and he hung back in the shadows. Gibbs, Tony and Ziva were there. Gibbs was actually smiling.

"Wilson its been a long time."

"Too long Gibbs can believe you're still at NCIS. I thought they would have kicked you out a long time ago."

"Well it's not for lack of trying" Gibbs said ruefully.

"And you also know Tony?" Ziva asked.

"Oh yeah," Wilson grinned "now him I never pictured for law enforcement."

"He's just making the rounds." Gibbs said with a glance at Tony.

Tony started "When I was at boarding school they brought in some military to tell us about opportunities, I didn't want to join but I had to go to one of the sessions and Lt. Robert Wilson was talking about sports. Particularly how sports play an important role in shaping young people."

"Many very successful people are athletes. Tony came and talked to me after and we kept in touch. So yeah I've know him for a while."

Gibbs opened his folder. "Tell us what you know about Carrol and Teal. How long were the under your command?"

"Six months. Carrol was…acceptable, not great but he passed through. Teal was much better, dedicated, principled. He was a good Marine."

"Can you think who would do this?"

"I can't Gunny. Neither really had any enemies, they were just good guys."

"Thank you Major."

The screen was about to be terminated when our of the blue Wilson spoke again, "I heard about those kids drowning at Norfolk." Gibbs nods and Wilson continued, Shame kind of eerie."

"What do you mean?"

"Something almost exactly like that happened when I was stationed at Bethesda in the 80's."

"Oh really?"

Wilson nodded. "Four kids fell though a hole in the lake. Three were Marines kids and one Navy brat. Ironically it was the Marine kids that died, the only survivor was the Navy kid."

"Why ironic?" Ziva asked

"Marines are tough, the toughest, so are their kids. Hopefully this won't end the same way."

"How was that?" Gibbs asked.

"The kid didn't take it well, claimed he was attacked after the incident. Tempers were high but he wasn't attacked. I felt bad for him survivors guilt and all but…anyway his father raised hell and got transferred early so problem solved I guess. Caused a lot of problems on base though." He frowned.

McGee sat down heavily in the back his legs unable to hold him up any longer.

"Why did he say he was attacked?" Ziva asked.

"Paranoid, I think some of the kids did give him a hard time, didn't have many friends, kind of a loaner."

Ziva frowned, "I am sure the child was under a great deal of stress." She cocked her head. "You don't seem very sympathetic."

"My marines were hurting too and they were my first responsibility. It was just a bad situation all around. Let me know if I can be of anymore help Gunny."

The images went off and Gibbs turned around.

"McGee where were you?" he snapped.

"I got in a little late Boss and decided not to interrupt."

Gibbs grunted and left MTAC. As Tony passed McGee fell in behind. "You've know Wilson that long?" He asked.

"Yeah he kind of kept up with me after that. Even wrote me a letter of recommendation to Ohio State." In a rare moment of opening up Tony confided. "He was supportive of me a lot of ways that my dad wasn't." McGee just nodded.

"Alright" Gibbs said "find me a reason someone would want to kill these Marine."

Tim worked the rest of the day in silence letting Tony and Ziva do most of the talking. He only spoke when his computer dinged or he was spoken to. No one seemed to notice. Late in the afternoon McGee got up and grabbed his coat.

"Where are you off to McQuiet?"

Ok someone had noticed.

"I have an appointment. I let Gibbs know and I'll be back, that's all and really more than you need to know." McGee said to Tony in passing.

Tony and Ziva exchanged a look.

"You know you can't keep a secret McGee!" Tonly yelled after him, "we will find out."

It was 5 pm by the time McGee got done and got back to the Navy Yard. Tony and Ziva were still at their desks

"Bout time McTrouble. Boss was looking for you and did not look happy." Tony chirped.

"McGee! Where have you been?"

"Sorry I'm lat Boss it took a little longer than I expected."

Gibbs got right in McGee face. "This case not important to you McGee?" he asked, his voice dangerously quiet.

"It is important to me Boss"

"Then start acing like it." Gibbs growled. "Go help Abby."

McGee paused for a split second really not wanting to go but knowing better than to argue.

"Now!" He practically ran leaving Tony and Ziva laughing. One look from Gibbs and they stopped

McGee poked his head cautiously in the lab. Abby was working at her computer. He walked in.

"Gibbs sent me to help you" he said uncertainly.

"Help me what? Lose more evidence that could have broken this case by now?"

"Abby please, it was an accident I'm not even sure I did it."

"Oh the evidence fairy wished it away I suppose," she stormed back to her desk. He started to follow.

"You work in there, I'm in here," she barked.

McGee sighed when she was in that kind of mood it was impossible to reason with her. He settled in for a long night because that's what it would be.

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**Wednesday morning**

Dawn found McGee's bloodshot eyes still staring at the computer screen. Abby had fallen asleep at her desk hours ago. McGee was still trying to figure out a way to crack the encryptions, a way to relocate the lost evidence and, oh yeah, a way to not be killed by Abby or Gibbs in the process.

McGee looked at the clock, Ducky might be in now there was something he needed to talk to him about.

"Hey Ducky" he said walking into autopsy, "could I talk to you a minute?

"Of course Timothy. What's on your mind?"

Tim hesitated, "You know the case the kids drowned at the Norfolk crime scene?"

"Yes" Ducky nodded sadly, "such a tragedy."

Tim swallowed. "Would they…? I mean do you think…?"

"Yes Timothy?"

"If that witness had run and pulled them out as soon as they fell in would they be alive?" He blurted out.

Ducky frowned. "It's hard to say, children can survive cold like that better than adults. I can't offer conclusive evidence, but in my opinion if he had acted immediately they would have had a much better chance. Is this very important to you, Timothy?" Ducky inquired gently.

McGee opened his mouth to answer and was interrupted by Gibbs walking through the doors.

"What you got Duck?" He only glanced at McGee.

"This poor fellow was killed in the same way and probably by the same man as our first victim. Wounds are almost identical. I can't tell you much more yet but whoever killed them was at a very close range."

"They knew their killer."

"It's likely."

Gibbs turned his attention to McGee.

"What are you doing down here?"

"I-I-I was just wondering about the kids."

"What about them?"

Ducky interjected, "Timothy was contemplating if they could have been saved if that fellow had acted sooner."

"Well yeah McGee he froze and those kids are dead because of it." Gibbs stormed out.

"Thanks Ducky." McGee smiled sadly.

"Timothy, wait, is there something you would like to talk about?" Ducky pressed.

"N-no, thank you, I had better get back upstairs." McGee slowly walked out.

Ducky frowned. "Something is not right."

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**I will certainly try to do better about getting these out sooner, but next week looks really busy as well. I hope you are enjoying the story. It's getting to the good part so hang on! Even though I'm afraid it won't be very fun for Tim. :( **


	5. Chapter 5

**I hope you all have enjoyed the story. Thank you so much for the encouragement. It makes me smile. :) We are about to get to the good part so hang on and enjoy!**

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Wednesday afternoon

McGee was in the bullpen writing a program to try and crack the encryption on Carrol's computer. He knew that was the key if he could only concentrate long enough to find it. He hadn't had more than five hours of sleep in the last three days and even those hours had been plagued by nightmares that only got more real and vivid each time. He had woken up to his own cries, drenched in sweat more times than he cared to remember. It was starting to catch up with him. He had to jerk himself awake more than a couple of times much to the amusement of Tony, even Ziva had to smile.

He felt himself falling asleep this time but was too exhausted to try and wake up. He was floating. It was nice until he was suddenly hit by a freezng cold sensation. Now he wasn't floating, he was sinking, being pulled under by a force that would't let go. He tried to yell for help but nothing would come out. Tried to breath but couldn't. He was going to die! The all too familiar feeling of panic, terror and helplessness was overtaking him as he felt his life slipping away. The worst part though was that he could hear her screaming. He couldn't see or reach her but he could hear her pleading for help. He reached out.

"McGee, McGee! Come on wake up Probie!"

A yell and a shake pulled Tim out of this nightmare and back to the consciousness, but he couldn't shake the sickened feeling that dream always brought with it.

McGee looked up. Tony was gripping his shoulder and actually looked worried. Ziva had walked to his desk as well.

"You ok man?" Tony asked. McGee shook him off. "Im fine"

"You did not sound fine," Ziva said. "You were yelling and moaning."

"You sounded…" Tony paused.

"Afraid" Ziva finished for him.

"Well I'm not, now leave me alone!" McGe made a beeline to the restrooms. He pushed the door open and caught sigth of himself in a mirror. A pale face and haunted eyes started back at him. He chastised himself. _Get it together, your're a grown man and a federal agent, you will not fall apart here, not now, you've gotten too far._

He stayed there for about ten more minutres and then decided he should get back to the squad room. Tony and Ziva glanced up as he came in but didn't say anyting. He occasionally caught one or both of them looking at him with concern.

Hours later he was just finishing up calling Teal's family and when Gibbs came in and stopped in front of his desk. Tim looked up, Tony and Ziva had mysteriously disappeared.

"Boss no one can name any reason why someone would kill Teal. His sister is coming in tomorrow to claim his personal effects."

Gibbs was looking at McGee with a strange expression. "You ok McGee?"

McGee was surprised by the question, not because he wasn't having problems but Gibbs seemed preoccupied with the case and hadn't really paid his state of mind much attention. He hesitated a moment. _Should I tell him? What would I say? _He looked up at Gibbs who surprising looked encouraging. He just couldn't though.

"I'm fine Boss."

"Ducky said you were upset about the kids drowning."

"I think we were all upset Boss." McGee said hoping desperately Gibbs would drop the subject.

Gibbs' eyes narrowed only slightly. "Go home for a couple of hours McGee, get some sleep."

"Boss?" McGee realized Tony or Ziva or both must have mentioned his drowsiness and nightmare to Gibbs.

"Go, now." Gibbs said walking to his desk.

"Yes Boss." McGee grabbed his stuff. He arrived at his apartment and swa his answering machine blinking. _I can't do this now._ He walked past his computer to his bedroom, as he did he heard the familiar ding of his Instant messaging application. When he saw the name he smiled for the first time in days and set down to achieve some much needed cheering up.

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**Thursday morning**

The nighttime hadn't treated McGee well. His sleep was plagued with nightmares, visions and screams, some his own but most only in his mind. He had finally decided it was useless and got up, showered and dressed. He arrived at NCIS a little after 4:30am. He was so caught up in work he didn't notice the team come in. Gibbs frowned.

"Again McGee, I thought I told you to get some sleep."

McGee didn't even address the question. "I found a security camera Boss."

Gibbs raised his eyebrows.

"The motel Carrol was killed at-"

"Didn't have a security camera." Tony interrupted.

"I know that but most of their traffic comes from the north side. A security company is on the street across and we might be able to get a look at someone."

"It seems like a longshot McGee. " Ziva commented. "What if they came into the parking lot from the south side?"

"It's the only lead we currently have, go check it out." Gibbs ordered. Tony and Ziva headed to the elevator. "That's good work McGee."

Gibbs observed that although McGee smiled it didn't reach his eyes.

Tony and Ziva made it back with the footage and took it down for Abby to process, they were back up soon.

"Abby says it is very far off so she will have to enhance it before she can tell us anything." Ziva reported. Gibbs nodded and continued working. Ziva slowed as she passed Tim's desk.

"Are you alright McGee?"

He looked up slowly and gave the smallest of smiles.

"I'm fine Ziva." She didn't look entirely satisfied but let the matter drop.

Tim worked for a while longer before he made up his mind.

"Boss is it ok if I go talk to Ducky for a minute?"

Gibbs looked up at him. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I um, I um…I just…"

"Spit it out McGee."

_Ok lets try a half truth_

"I um haven't been sleeping well and I wanted to see if he could give me anything."

Gibbs studied him then waved his hand. "Go on"

McGee got to autopsy only to find it empty, well, empty of the living. He was actually a little relieved. The team seemed to be watching him, he didn't like it and while he appreciated their concern he didn't need or want lose the trust he had worked so hard to gain. He didn't need them to think he was weak. He was about to leave when Jimmy walked in.

"Hey McGee, whats up?"

"Not much" Tim muttered and again started to leave.

Jimmy stopped him by touching his arm.

"Hey are you ok? You don't look so good."

That did it.

"Why the hell does everyone keep asking me that! I'm fine ok. What do I have to do put out a mass email telling everyone I'm fine? Even if I wasn't how would that be any of your business!"

Tim felt a rage inside of him that he couldn't explain. He knew there was no reason to yell at Jimmy but it was like it was someone else. He was outside his body watching himself tear into someone. And he couldn't stop.

"Just leave me alone! I don't need you, I don't need anybody to tell me how to take care of myself. Stay away from me and out of my business!"

Tim saw Jimmy look over his shoulder and heard a slight noise behind him. The voice behind him confirmed what he suspected.

"Timothy would you mind telling me very much why you are in my autopsy, yelling at my assistant."

He became very silent and turned around slowly. McGee soon realized it was much worse than he had originally thought. It wasn't just Ducky but Abby as well and to say she looked angry would have been the understatement of the century. She was glaring at him with a look so ferocisous he actually flinched.

"You-"

"Abigail, please, why don't we all try to calm down?" Ducky said trying to calm the situation but the look he gave McGee was less than benevolent. "Timothy do you need something."

McGee shook his head. "No Ducky, I-I don't need anything. I'm sorry. Palmer I'm-" The words died on his lips when he looked back and saw Jimmy's closed off face. "I'm sorry" he said to no one in particular before he retreated out of autopsy.

He was out but he didn't know where to go. Hazmat showers. That would be secluded and he could gather his thought. He couldn't believe what he had just done. Where did that even come from. He wasn't angry at Jimmy. He wasn't angry at anyone except himself really. The more he thought of it the more upset he became. _What is wrong with me?_ _I'm not like that. Maybe I am. _The inner turmoil continued until he reached the showers. He leaned against the cool wall and slowly slid down exhaustion taking its toll. He put his head on his knees and felt himself begin to drift off. It always started out peacefully, just floating, but soon turned terrifying. He tried to wake himself but couldn't. Tim came close to concisousness and could feel hands on his shoulders. _Not again! _He started to struggle. He had to, he couldn't go through that again.

"No! No! It wasn't my fault. Please let me go!"

He started to hyperventilate and lost all perception of what was happening. Tim couldn't breath or think straight and that terrified him. Even more alarming though were the hands still on his shoulders. He begin to struggle harder, trying to lash out, but he was too weak. He felt terror and dread as one hand left his shoulder and went to the back of his head. His head was forced between his knees and a soothing voice spoke to him. He couldn't understand what was said, but somehow he felt calmer. It took several minutes but his breathing slowed. He head was still between his knees and the hand on his shoulder. McGee slowly sat up and saw Jimmy's worried face.

"What happened?" McGee asked dazed.

Jimmy smiled weakly. "From what I remember from my medical classes it looks like you were having a panic attack."

"Oh"

Jimmy grimaced. "I hate to ask this but are you ok? "

This time it was Tim's turn to give a humorless smile. "Obviously not."

Jimmy continued to crouch. "If you can stand, I'll help you back to autopsy and Dr. Mallard can take a look at you."

"No!" Seeing Jimmy's shocked expression McGee continued. "You can't tell Ducky, you can't tell anyone."

Jimmy looked uncertain.

"Please Jimmy, it-it's just this case. It'll be over soon and I'll be fine. I really don't need everyone on my case."

"McGee panic attacks aren't nothing, you need…something or some help."

"Give me a few days Jimmy please. I'll handle it. Please don't say anything."

It took a few minutes but Jimmy slowly nodded.

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**I hope I am not going too slow for everyone. I'm just building up to what is going to happen. Thanks so much for the reviews. They make my day!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you all so much for the reviews. I'm glad you are enjoying the story. I have been so caught up in work I have not been able to post, but the weekend will soon be here so hopefully I will have more time. Enjoy!**

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**Thursday afternoon**

Jimmy insisted on staying with McGee until he felt a little more stable. It took a few minutes but McGee finally composed himself and walked back to his desk. Gibbs glanced up, but didn't say anything. Tony and Ziva were in an argument and as soon as McGee realized what it was about he thought he would be sick.

"I'm telling you Commander Wilson is a good man, he looks out for people and you don't know what you're talking about." Tony asserted hotly.

"He seemed to me rather uncaring about a child almost drowning and then being so traumatized by that event that he felt he must make up an attack." Ziva shot back. "Unless he did not make it up and the Commander was lying."

"He wouldn't lie. I'm sorry about the kid, but it's like Wilson said, he needed to look after his marines."

Ziva shook her head realizing she was getting nowhere and decided to drop it. That didn't stop her from continuing to mutter under her breath in Hebrew.

McGee looked at Gibbs still engrossed in his work.

"Boss?" He said softly, almost too softly to hear.

"Yeah McGee." Nothing wrong with the man's hearing.

"Ho-how long have you know Commander Wilson?"

"Longer than you've been alive McGee."

Gibbs didn't mean it as harsh as it sounded, but in McGee's swirling mind it got twisted and felt like a slap in the face.

He slumped down in his desk and continued to work. Night came and Abby had somewhere to be. She convinced Gibbs to let her go with the promise that she would be back early to work on the case. This worked out extremely well for McGee because he could go down to the peace of the lab to work on Carrol's laptop without being glared at. He stayed there until late in the night staring at code. When he finally realized he had been looking at the same screen for several minutes without understanding it he reluctantly decided to give it up for the night.

"I've got to get some sleep" he said to himself.

He carefully shut down the computer to take and lock up in evidence. He saw Abby had left the video surveillance tape out gathered that as well. No one was in the evidence locker; he wasn't expecting them to be. He signed in for the computer and video. The shelves were full, he sighed, everyone had been busy and there were more cases waiting. He set the evidence down on a large crate and shut the door behind him.

It was too late to go home and he decided he would never get any quality sleep at his desk. He settled on a place somewhat in the middle. He got in his car and folded the seat back and sighed as he tried to relax. Not the most comfortable place, but he was so tired he could have slept anywhere. Exhaustion quickly over took him and he was soon snoring. He was so tired he didn't even dream, didn't move, didn't grind his teeth, and didn't feel the calculating, hostile eyes watching him.

* * *

**I know this is a short chapter, but it seemed like a good place to end and I will update soon. :)**

**Thanks everyone for your encouragement!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Friday**

Tim woke slowly and wondered where he was, it was still dark outside. _My car, I fell asleep in my car._ He moved slightly and immediately began to regret that decision. He was sore all over. _Sleeping in a car will do that Tim. At least I got to sleep._ He checked his watch. It was 6am. He stretched some more in an attempt to relieve the soreness. _Might as well go up to the office and start working._

__

_

* * *

_

Slowly the team began to filter in beginning with Gibbs, then Ziva and finally Tony. Everyone was working peacefully until Abby came charging in. She slammed her hands on McGee's desk making him jump.

"Did you move the surveillance tape last night?" She asked anger flashing in her eyes.

"Ye-yes"

"And the computer?"

"I-I worked on it last night and-and took it to evidence lockup when I was d-done." He stammered surprised to see her so angry.

"You put them on the crate containing the magnet from Carson's case." She said stabbing a finger from him.

McGee's jaw dropped open. Carson's team had confiscated a large powerful magnet from a sting operation months ago.

"No, no, no, there was no room on the shelf. I didn't even think to look…" McGee trailed off his mind quickly processing all the implications.

"Abby," Ziva urgently "what does that mean?"

"It means they're wiped clean." She said throwing her hands in the air.

"All of it?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"Magnets erase hard drives Gibbs. This was a powerful magnet; it erased everything on the computer and corrupted the video."

"Abby go back to your lab and salvage what you can."

"Gibbs there's nothing-"

"Now", he said softly, dangerously.

She left in a huff not even looking at McGee as she passed, not that it would have mattered he was looking at the ground, too mortified to even look at anyone. He sat in the uncomfortable silence while Gibbs seemed to make up his mind.

"Get out I don't want to see you again until we're done with this case."

McGee's shoulders slumped and he wished he could drop into a hole. He had just messed up a second case in roughly a one week. He was seriously off his game and he couldn't blame Gibbs for being furious. He was knew Abby wanted to kill him, and that was still over the last mistake.

"Wh-where do you want me to go?" McGee stammered.

"Go home before you mess up again." Gibbs snapped without looking up.

McGee didn't move he was too shocked. Gibbs looked up and stared at him. "Are you waiting for an escort out McGee?"

"No-no boss. " Since he was already in this deep he may as well ask. "Can I come back Monday?"

"Someone will let you know when the case is over and you can set foot in this office again."

Tim winced, if they let him back was what it sounded like. He had no choice though; he started to gather his things. He risked a look at Tony and Ziva. Tony was careful not to look at him. Ziva glanced up, but her face was so full of fury he wished he hadn't seen it at all. He walked to the elevator and pushed the button.

* * *

McGee got home and just stood in the doorway. He could see the blinking of his answering machine, but couldn't bear to listen to any more proof of his failure. He sat down at his computer his mind whirling.

_What happened? I should have looked, Im always careful with evidence. This case is throwing me off. What about last Friday when you lost evidence, what was your excuse then? What is happening to me?_

He couldn't concentrate couldn't even think.

_I wanted to help people. Because of me a murderer is going to get away. _

That very thought devastated him and he dropped his head in his hands. He sat like that for hours before he decided what he needed to do. He slowly sat up and walked to his typewriter and pulled out several sheets of paper.

He typed until he was drained, physically and emotionally. He knew it needed to be done, but it broke his heart. Everything he loved and had worked for gone because of carelessness. He finished and sat staring for several hours. He finally decided to go to bed. He doubted he would sleep, but there was nothing else to do now but try.

He lay in bed tossing and turning. Finally his eyes closed from sheer exhaustion. He didn't know how long had passed but he became aware of a noise in his apartment. It took him a moment to realize what was going on, but when he did he stiffened. Someone was breaking in and his gun was in his desk drawer. As quietly as he could he slipped out of his bed. He peaked out the door and didn't see anyone. He frowned. Where did they go? He took a step toward his desk and immediately cursed himself when a figure stepped out from in the shadows of the book case, a gun in hand.

"I told you I would find you McGee. I told you, you would pay for what you did. The innocent blood on your hands. How can you even sleep?" He spoke to McGee with disgust his eyes wild with hate.

McGee let out a breath

"You here for revenge?" McGee asked resignedly

The intruder looked confused then angry. He raised the gun.

"I'm here for justice"

He pulled the hammer back.

McGee dove for the gun.

* * *

**Enjoy the cliffhanger and tell me what you think! **


	8. Chapter 8

**You guys are so sweet! Thank you for the reviews, they are really encouraging. To keep my toes from being gnawed off by an unnamed puppy I have posted this chapter. ;) **

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

After McGee left, Gibbs went for coffee, Tony and Ziva redouble their efforts to find any suspect they had missed and Abby, in almost a blind rage, worked furiously to try and save something.

She loved Tim she really did, but one of her biggest pet peeves was the mishandling of evidence. And he had done it twice in one week! She knew next week or in two weeks, they would be back to normal but right now she just wanted to be angry.

Gibbs was met at the elevator by Tony.

"Going somewhere DiNozzo?"

"I just wanted to talk to you Boss."

"Yeah?" Gibbs asked taking a sip. "About what?"

"McGee." Tony rushed on before Gibbs could say anything. "Look I know he messed up and Abby was furious, but maybe…"

"Say it."

"I think dismissing him like that was a little harsh." He half closed his eyes bracing himself for the head slap. Gibbs just raised his eyebrows.

"I just…he's been really zoned out on this case. I mean he works hard but doesn't seem to get anywhere. That's not like McGee. He's like magic, he can pull information out of thin air and he is always, always careful with evidence. More so than anyone I know." Again Tony stopped and braced for a head slap or something, but Gibbs looked thoughtful.

"He has been different; I don't know what it is. But that's one of the reasons I sent him home. I will talk to McGee, but evidence is important too, you know that. It…" he paused and considered his words, "might have been a little abrupt, but it needed to be done. Two marines are dead and we have to find their killer."

Tony still looked unconvinced.

"I'll talk to him first thing Monday after everyone has had a chance to cool off over the weekend." Gibbs started to walk to his desk.

"Can I come too Boss?"

"If you want to DiNozzo." He said over his shoulder.

* * *

Gibbs went home Sunday night. He needed a break from the office and the smell of sawdust always cleared his head. The case was not going smoothly, they should have had the killer by now but they were nowhere. He shook his head, they needed McGee. Tony had hit the nail on the head when he said McGee pulled information out of thin air. Many times his computer skills and never ending determination to find something, anything, had unearthed the key to a case. He frowned. _Was I too harsh? He just couldn't focus, I needed him to focus._ The guilty feeling didn't go away, especially when he remembered how devastated McGee had looked. McGee took his mistakes hard, he always had. _Tony and I will go talk to him tomorrow try to figure out where his head is and hopefully get everything straightened out._ Having successfully reassured himself Gibbs continued the steady sanding of the hull of his newest boat.

* * *

It was a peaceful early Monday morning with the stars shining down on the earth. Those stars saw a loan figure stagger out of an abandoned building. He fell and, as quickly as his injured body would allow, got back up and stumbled on.

Finally reaching the payphone on the corner he leaned against it heavily trying to catch his breath. Who could have imagined traveling the distance of a block would be so difficult. Praying there was a quarter in the phone, Tim McGee almost cried with joy when there miraculously was. His shaking hands carefully dialed the number knowing he would not have long and this might be his only chance. It started to ring and he rested his face in his hand careful to avoid the bruised areas. His whole body ached and his head was spinning. McGee was thankful the payphone offered a place to lean.

McGee heard a noise and looked up. His heart dropped and he considered running from the figured headed toward him. Like lightening his mind ran through the options. If he ran might get away but he might not and if he was caught he would never be found. If he stayed he would certainly be caught but if he could get through he might be found before…

Tim didn't really care anymore about what happened to him but he had to warn the team of the danger so he stayed. Staying was difficult. McGee watched him get closer and closer, each step sealing his fate, there would be pain and torture when he was brought back, but he had to get through. He focused on the ringing, it kept ringing. _Come on please pick up._ He captor was only steps away now. McGee closed his eyes.

He had to get through!

* * *

Gibbs heard his phone ring and rolled over. He had fallen asleep working on his boat. There was no clock in the basement and the fact that it was still dark outside gave him no clues either. He groaned as he sat up and attempted to locate his phone. He finally found it and opened it right in the middle of the ring.

"Gibbs and it had better be important." He growled into the phone. Only a clicking sound reached his ears. An uneasy feeling worked its way into his gut as he redialed the number. It rang for several minutes with no answer. He pushed the feeling down and shut the phone. 4:01 am flashed up at him.

He told Tony they would go see McGee first thing in the morning, Gibbs decided to go to work and get some things done before Tony got in an wanted to go.

* * *

**I tried not to leave too much of a cliff hanger, didn't want to torture you guys. ;) Still I hope you enjoyed it. More to come soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Yay another chapter, thought it will be a little sad. :( **

**Thank you for all the reviews. I hope you enjoy. I should be quicker about the next one. :)**

The left side of Tim's face hurt more than anything he could imagine. He figured his jaw was broken and he couldn't imagine what else was wrong. Still the beating continued. His only prayer was that he would soon lose consciousness.

"That's enough I need to make a point too and I need him partially conscious." A voice said out of the darkness.

"Not till I'm done." A second voice said full of malice.

"You're done."

"Look he's mine I just brought you in. I didn't need your help."

"If it wasn't for me he would be gone. How did he escape?"

"He was loose when I came in. He cold cocked me!"

"I thought I told you anytime one of us left the room for a long period of time he needs to be unconscious. I don't care if you beat him unconscious or use drugs. Because of you we have to move. I wasn't ready to move."

"You want to lure the team here anyway, let them come."

"It's not time, beside I was doing this for you, I thought you wanted more time with him."

"Anyway," continued the first voice, "I need him for a bit then he's all yours. I don't care about your little revenge."

Tim heard something crash to the floor that sounded like a chair being knocked over. He flinched involuntarily which only made his body hurt worse

"It's not revenge! Revenge is stupid and pointless. This is justice, justice is giving someone what they deserve and he deserves this! He killed my sister!"

"He didn't kill her." The first voice said calmly. "As far as I can see he was just there when she died."

"You're just like everyone else! He doesn't deserve to be alive, if she had to die he should have too!"

The first man didn't say anything, but he calmly pulled out his colt revolver and aimed it. Tim screamed. Pain flared first in his knee then spread like lightning all up and down his leg. He was so focused on the burning he didn't even notice the voice in his ear at first. It was eerie in its calm and lack of anger or emotion.

"Just let me tell you next time the bullet will be higher, much higher. But in the knee you won't bleed too much and serves a double duty if you escape again you won't get far."

McGee felt him straighten up and address the other man.

"I'll be gone for a few hours. I have to take care of some things. Don't kill him while I'm gone."

Silence

"Hey! I mean it."

"He'll last"

"He better"

A door slammed shut and McGee shuttered as the voice whisper in his ear.

"You're mine."

* * *

Gibbs didn't even look up when the elevator dinged so he was a little surprised when a shadow fell across his desk at 6:30am. He was shocked to see that shadow belonged to DiNozzo.

"Why are you here so early?" Gibbs asked trying to get over the shock.

Tony looked confused.

"You said we could go see McGee first thing in the morning. I assumed that meant when I got here. " He spread his arms. "I'm here."

Gibbs hid a smile. "You know the rule about assuming."

Tony's face fell.

"Come on boss. I never get up this early. You know McMorning Glory will be up."

Tony lit up with an idea.

"I'll grab the car."

Gibbs sighed and shook his heard the slighted traces of a smile on his face.

In the elevator they almost ran into Ziva. She looked even more shocked to see Tony there than Gibbs did. She looked at her watch.

"What time is it?"

"A cold day in hell." Gibbs said moving past her into the elevator.

"What?" Ziva asked looking confused.

"It's an expression when something improbable happen, like me beating you to work." Tony said grinning he joined Gibbs in the elevator.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to McGee." Tony answered

She was silent for a moment the stuck her hand in the elevator to stop it from closing.

"May I come?"

"You want to?" She nodded and stepped in the elevator.

"Shouldn't one of you be working?" Gibbs asked with mock exasperation.

She smiled slyly "I will be thinking very hard on the case on the way to McGee's apartment."

Her smile disappeared.

"I should have said something to him on Friday. Carelessness with evidence is not like McGee, Tony maybe, but not McGee."

"Hey!"

"Something has been wrong with him, I should have made an effort to find out."

"So your crashing our crashing of McGee?"

"Yes, I feel it needs a woman's touch."

"Yeah but where are we going to get one of those?"

He grunted as Ziva hit him.

"You two knock it off or you're both staying." And just like that it was finished.

* * *

They arrived at McGee apartment and Gibbs knocked on the door. There was no sound inside.

"McGee, open up." He yelled still banging.

"I suppose we will have to pick the lock," Ziva said with a glint in her eye.

She reached for the knob and was surprised when it opened without any persuasion for her lock set.

Gibbs peered inside and immediately drew his weapon.

Ransacked would have been an overexaggeration, but there had clearly been a struggle in McGee's apartment. His computer was lying on the ground with several books scattered around. The writing desk in the back of the room had been pushed several feet and was skewed at an angle.

Gibbs slowly advanced followed closely by Tony and Ziva each with drawn weapons.

"Clear"

Making his way to the bedroom Gibbs noticed drops of blood on the carpet and some smears on the wall and his heart quickened. He hoped they belonged to the other participant in the struggle and not McGee.

The bedroom was pretty much untouched except for a knocked over lamp. The sheets had been thrown back as if the occupant had left in a hurry. With every room cleared they all stood for a moment in silence observing the mess around them.

"There is a spare scene processing kit in the trunk of the car." Ziva said breaking the silence. She headed downstairs to get it.

Tony shook his head as the moved around the room.

"Boss, nobody's talked to McGee since Friday morning. This could have happened-"

"Yeah I know DiNozzo."

"I mean if he's been hurt since Friday, then-"

"DiNozzo! I said I know!" Gibbs yelled turning to face him.

Ziva walked back in the room warily eyeing the apparent conflict. She handed Tony a camera and began to take samples of the blood. Gibbs continued to look around and noticed an answering machine's blinking light. He pressed the button.

_You have 29 unheard message._ Gibbs raised his eyebrows at Tony and Ziva when they looked over in surprise.

"Wow, I don't have that many calls in a month." Tony said

_First unheard message: Hey you freak, I can't believe nodoby's killed you yet. I can't believe people work with you. You are such a weak coward. You don't deserve to breathe the same air as us._

_ Next message:_

_I hate you and I can't wait to finish you, I can't wait to watch you die slowly and alone. You are nothing and nobody and you will be alone when you die._

Each message was worst than the last and Tony could hardly control the anger welling up inside of him. Gibbs was feeling the same way, this man had obviously called McGee many time and from the dates on the messages they had occurred over the past week. Maybe that was one of the many burdens McGee had seemed to be carrying over the past week. He skipped to the last message.

_I'm coming for you tonight; you can't hide from this anymore._

"It appears he was serious." Ziva observed

"Ya think?"

Ziva shook her head and moved on. She walked to McGee's desk and picked up some papers that had fallen to the floor.

"Gibbs, you should see this." Ziva called him over and handed him the letter. Gibbs started reading and frowned.

"What is it?" Tony asked.

"Resignation letter" Gibbs said still reading his frown getting deeper.

"Why?"

"He said in the letter he wanted to be an agent to help people and when he ceased to be able to do that there was no point in his staying with NCIS. He could not stand for a murderer to be free on his account." Ziva said softly. She began waved her hands around. "He, of course, said it more eloquently"

"Of course," Tony said rolling his eyes before becoming serious. "Boss, you can't let McGee quit, not over some lost evidence."

Gibbs sighed.

"Tony, let's get to the bottom of this and see where we are. I can't make McGee do anything."

Tony stared.

"You would let him just walk out?"

Gibbs didn't answer and turned away to hid the weariness and guilt on his face. He was starting to realize he should have said something to McGee earlier in the week when he saw how the case was affecting him. He wanted to kick himself for sending him away Friday and he was almost as angry at McGee for not coming to him for whatever the problem was. Quitting seemed so sudden, but he knew what a perfectionist McGee was and he could imagine that misplacing evidence this was effecting him deeply.

Gibbs glanced at the floor and squatted to retrieve another stray paper. This one was a prescription scrawled in the nearly illegible handwriting and obviously never filled.

"What is it?" Ziva asked

"Perscription" Gibbs said absently

"What is it for?" Ziva asked again

"Don't know, can't read it"

Tony came over to look.

"It looks pretty recent." he said reading it, "Tuesday, that's the day McGee left early and then came back to work that night."

"We'll take it to Ducky and find out." Gibbs decided. His phone began to ring. He looked and the caller ID.

"Here we go" He said almost to himself.

"Gibbs, Gibbs I need you here now." Abby's frantic voice came over the phone loud and clear.

"Is something wrong Abby?" He asked. What he wanted to ask was, is something _else _wrong.

"It's about McGee, I think he's in trouble." She said her voice trembling.

"Yeah Abbs I know. We're on our way. We'll be there soon."

He turned to Tony and Ziva

"Let's get this stuff back to the lab."

* * *

**My next chapter should be up sooner. Sorry for the wait. :) While I am writing this I am wishing I could give McGee a hug. :(**

** Thanks everyone for the reviews and other alerts. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

****

**Trying to tie everything together. I hope it makes sense on paper. I have found writing to be a little difficult. I can picture it in my head, but it is a little hard to describe what I imagine. I have so much more respect for the writers of my favorite fanfictions now! Definitly not easy.**

**I hope you guys are enjoying. Thanks so much for the reviews. No Tim in this chapter but he is talked about so thats almost as good right? :)**

* * *

As Gibbs, Tony, and Ziva brought in bags of evidence to the lab they were hit with waves of words that could only be described as Abby.

"Gibbs I've tried to call him like a billion times, he won't answer. Ok I know he's probably mad at me but never be unreachable! What did he say when you talked to him?"

"He was not at his apartment" Ziva said.

"Oh no! Gibbs! Something happened to him!"

"Abby you need to process this blood and see if you can find a match." Gibbs said handing her the samples with deliberate calm. He needed Abby calm, yes she could do it in this state but she was much better if she was not frantic.

"Whose is it?" She asked wide eyed.

"Well Abby if we knew that you wouldn't need to run it."

Abby looked guiltily at her feet.

"Abby we need the blood soon." Tony interjected

"Gibbs I found something. Jimmy, he said McGee was having problems last week and asked me to see if this case had any connection that would cause that and… I found something.

"Start the blood and then tell us what you found."

She nodded and busied herself. When it was finished she turned around

"What cha got Abs?"

"Jimmy wanted me to see if I could find something so I started looking just to get him off my back. I looked in McGee's records nothing was in his adult past and his minor records are sealed."

"Abby" Ziva said "I have seen you and McGee get into seal records many times."

"I can but I didn't have a reason to yet. Then I remember hearing about you guys talking about something like this had happened before, well not this exactly, something like this-"

"Abby!"

"Ok, those kids that drowned, all those years ago something just felt wrong about it. I remembered McGee telling me that at one time his father was stationed at Bethesda."

"Abby what did you find?" Gibbs asked quietly even though he already knew.

Her eyes filled with tears.

"McGee was the Navy kid who survived. Three Marine kids died two at the scene and the third, a girl, died at the hospital after several day. McGee shouldn't have made it, I mean he was on life support, little brain activity and one day he just woke up. He was just 9 years old Gibbs." She said sadly

There was silence; no one knew what to say. Images flashed back of McGee at the lake, how disconnected he had been. The look on his face when he had seen the hole in the lake. Every day after that had gotten worse. Gibbs almost cringed when he remember how little McGee had said from that time on. He tried not the think about the empty look in his eyes he had seen too many times. Abby started to talk again her voice strangely soft and mellow.

"That's not the worst part. Not long after he got out of the hospital he was attacked."

This time Tony jumped in.

"Wilson said he made it up, that it didn't happen."

"Are you saying Tim's a liar?" Abby cried with anger.

"No, I'm just saying maybe he got confused or he was upset. I know I would be but Commander Wilson said it did not happen. Why would he lie to us?"

Ziva said nothing. Gibbs looked with sympathy as he realized Tony was trying desperately to hold onto the integrity of a childhood hero.

"I have pictures" Abby said quietly

Tony paled

Abby continued.

"Their was an invesigation. The case is old but some of the pictures were digitized."

She opened the first one and began clicking though. The pictures showed a young Timothy McGee, he was small for his age but his face held the haunted look of someone much older.

The first thing they noticed were large green, tired and frightened eyes. The left eye was slightly black and swollen. There was a deep gouge in his cheek and Tony winced as he thought about Tim's scar. A large gash on his head was shown in two pictures, once open and fresh, the second time stitched up. Bruises scattered up and down his arms and torso were also documented in pictures. An x-ray of his right wrist showed a fracture.

"I do not think he was confused Tony." Ziva said quietly

Tony said nothing. He couldn't find the words. Why had Wilson lied to them? Why had Tim? He was in MTAC that day; he heard what Wilson had said. Why didn't he jump in and correct the issue?

"Boss why didn't he say anything? He sat right at his desk while Ziva and I talked; he was in MTAC that day."

Then it hit him, the question McGee had asked him eariler about his relationship with Wilson.

_You've know Wilson that long? McGee asked. _

_Yeah he kind of kept up with me after that. Even wrote me a letter of recommendation to Ohio State. He was supportive of me a lot of ways that my dad wasn't. _

Gibbs was silent; he had known Wilson a long time too. He was a good Marine; Gibbs had thought he was a good man. He was beginning to doubt that judgment. It wasn't as though Wilson had voiced any doubts about an attack. He had said there definitely was not. But these injuries on a child, there was nothing else it could be, someone had beaten him viciously, enough to break his wrist and open a gash in his heard. Gibbs was determined to get to the bottom of it, but first he wanted some idea of where Tim was. He looked down at his phone and almost wanted to slap himself for not thinking of it sooner.

"Abby run the number that called my phone at 4am this morning."

She quickly had the number up, the same time her computer blink with a confirmation of the blood. As if the mood in the room wasn't low enough it dropped considerably as the screen showed a positive confirmation that the blood belonged to Timothy McGee.

Tony turned away, he felt so helpless. He had expected this, but that didn't make it any easier.

"Where was the blood?" Abby asked shakily

"In Tim's apartment" Gibbs answered.

Abby looked about to crumble.

"Abby" Gibbs said harshly to try and get her back on track. "I need those results."

"It's a payphone in the south part of town. Mostly abandoned warehouses. "

"Tony, Ziva take agents down there. Bring the payphone back. I want every place within a 2 miles radius searched. I don't want any area skipped over. If we don't find anything in the 2 miles expand to 5 miles. Find me something!"

"On it Boss"

Tony and Ziva left. Gibbs noticed with a pang Tony was unusually quiet. He and Tim were good friend despite the teasing, even so Tony now appeared to be forced to choose between his friend and someone who had been there for him during his difficult years, a man he respected probably more than he respected anyone besides Gibbs.

Abby stood with tears in her eyes. Gibbs turned to leave.

"Gibbs"

"Yeah, Abbs?"

"I was mean to him." The tears started to fall.

"I know"

"What if I never see him again? What if he dies? What if the last way he remembers me is angry."

To tell the truth Gibbs was kind of mad at Abby himself, she always got overemotional and because she felt safe with Tm and he was so easy going and patient many times he bore the brunt of her anger. He had observed more times than he cared to remember Abby treat Tim like a doormat. Tim always took it and Gibbs had a hard time discerning whether that was because of his love for the scientist or his general good nature. He wanted to be mad, he was mad, but Abby was the favorite and she was standing there with tears in her eyes. Gibbs knew she loved Tim, she just sometimes had a poor way of showing it. Further more if he looked too closely at himself he had hardly been compassionate and forgiving with Tim the last time he had seen him. He found himself repeating Abby's question to himself.

_What if he dies? What if the last way he remembers me is angry?_

"Come here" he said softly enveloping her in a hug.

Still she needed to know he did not excuse what she did.

"Abby you need to think about this, every time one of us walk out the door it could be the last. Anything any of us says could be the last." He broke away from the hug first when he heard a phone ring. He turned and frowned. It was coming from an evidence bag.

Abby's eyes were wide.

"Its Tim's phone!" She cried digging around.

Gibbs got to it first and pulled it out glancing at the caller id. The name he saw froze him. He didn't really want to have this conversation.

_Dad_

Gibbs sighed and flipped open the phone.

"Hello"

_Hey boy, you doing anything for lunch today_? A slightly gruff voice greeted Gibb.

"Commander McGee?"

There was silence for a moment.

_Who is this?_

"Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS"

_Yes sir this is Sean McGee. Is, uh, is Tim there?_

"Are you in town Commander?"

_Yes, what's going on?_

"You need to come to NCIS"

_What happened? _

"We don't know but I'm afraid Tim is missing."

There was a sigh on the other end of the phone.

_I'm not far._

**Hope you enjoyed! I may not be able to write for a few days, but I will try not to make it longer than that. :) An adorable 2 year old is about to visit me though and she takes quite a bit of watching!**

**Thanks for the reviews. They make me smile! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks everyone for your patience and the reviews. Let me know if things don't make sense and I will try and adjust. I am a huge fan of no loose ends so everything should tie together in the end.**

* * *

Tony and Ziva were racing through traffic toward the south part of town. Their assignment was to find the payphone and bring it back for Abby to analyze. Agents were going to meet them there to begin searching.

Tony had let Ziva drive without any fight, that part alone worried her not even considering the fact that he had not said one word to her since they left. She glanced over at him for probably the hundredth time.

"What?" He asked irritated.

"You have been very quiet."

"Yeah well I thought the usual complaint was nobody could get me to shut up."

"You are angry." Ziva observed.

"Tony didn't say anything for another minute or so.

"I just can't wrap my head around it. Wilson lied to us. I trust him, I respect him. I mean… Why? Why wouldn't McGee say anything?"

Ziva chose her words carefully.

"Perhaps he was afraid you would not believe him. He saw the affection you had for Wilson maybe he believed you would side with him first. He was there when we argued that day about what happened. He saw how venomously you defended Wilson."

"Ziva that was different. You were speculating based on a 10 minute conversation, less even. McGee was there, he lived it. I couldn't have denied that."

"He probably though you would try. I'm sure he was in shock. He probably was not thinking rationally and you were not either."

"There has got to be an explanation for Wilson lying though." Tony mused.

"There! There it is." Ziva said angrily slamming the steering wheel making Tony jump. "You have proof. You said it. Wilson lied to us and yet still you wish for some way to defend him. That is why McGee did not speak up. You still choose Wilson over McGee."

Tony glared at Ziva then started straight ahead.

"McGee is my friend and I trust him. I just want an explanation. Is that too much to ask for?"

"Sometimes we must settle for what we are given, Tony, for that I am sorry." Ziva said gently.

The rest of the trip was quiet until they reached their destination.

"I hope McGee is alright." Ziva said suddenly turning off the ignition.

"Yeah, me too Ziva. Me too." Tony said stepping out of the car.

* * *

Gibbs started to get on the elevator to go up and wait for McGee's father, then thought better and decided to make a short detour. Something Abby had said got him thinking, besides he did need medical advice.

Gibbs walked into autopsy. Ducky and Jimmy were working on some paperwork and inventory.

"Ah, Jethro, what can we do for you today? I'm afraid I don't have any more information to give you about your dead Marines."

"It's not about this case Duck. More personal."

Jimmy having been through this situation many times began to discreetly make an exit.

"Hold on Jimmy, I want to talk to you too." Gibbs said before the young man got to the door.

"Um, um-what-what do you want me to say?" Jimmy stuttered.

Gibbs stared at him for a moment then turned to Ducky.

"McGee is missing."

The medical examiner sat up straighter

"Oh dear. When did it happen?"

Jimmy was opening and closing his mouth apparently trying to say something but not getting the words out.

"We think Friday night based on some messages on his answering machine. Tony and Ziva are following a lead now. We found this in his apartment, hoped you could tell me what it was for." Gibbs handed the prescription to Ducky. Ducky looked at it and frowned.

"This wasn't filled"

"I know Duck, what's it for?"

"I'm not sure Timothy would appreciate me sharing this."

Gibbs paused

"I understand that, but this is an investigation, I need all the facts on the missing party."

"Jethro, I'm not sure this would help in your investigation."

"If there is a possibility it does I need to know"

Ducky sighed.

"This should not become common knowledge"

"Of course not"

"It's an anti-depressant, the dosage is rather powerful."

Gibbs was quiet. He felt anger but mostly sorrow that McGee did not feel comfortable enough to come to him for help. He had an uneasy feeling this would not be the last time he found McGee had hidden some distress or burden from him.

"Jethro, Timothy has seemed to be distracted all week. This was written rather recently, do you think it has to do with the case?"

"It does. Apparently when McGee was young he almost drowned falling though some ice in a lake. He was lucky, three other kids did die. I think it hit him hard that last crime scene we went too where those kids drowned after playing on the ice."

"Yes," Ducky said remembering. "He did seem to be having a difficult time."

"There's more Duck. He was the only survivor and afterwards he was attacked."

"Attacked? By whom? Surely it wasn't related to the drowning."

"I don't know the details. I also don't know how or why Duck but I think it was connected."

Ducky frowned, it was bad enough to think of a child being attacked for surviving but it was even worse knowing it was Timothy. Timothy was certainly a mild mannered man; Ducky could only imagine what he had been like as a child.

Gibbs turned to Jimmy.

"Why did you ask Abby to try and figure out what was wrong with McGee? She said you said something was bothering him."

"I didn't mean to bother her. I know she's busy but I just felt something… I mean it seemed like…umm."

Gibbs had always intimidated Jimmy and it didn't help that Jimmy seemingly never knew what would set him off.

"Jimmy" Gibbs said calmly, "I'm not angry I just need to know what clued you in because no one else seemed to see what was going on"

Jimmy still looked nervous but started.

"Thursday McGee came down looking for Dr. Mallard. I asked him how he was and he exploded. He yelled at me about everyone on his case. It was just…really not like him. I think he was going to keep on going, but Dr. Mallard and Abby came in and he stopped."

"It seemed very uncharacteristic of Timothy." Ducky observed

Jimmy continued

"I went looking for him. I finally found him in the Hazmat showers. He looked like he was asleep so I was about to leave. Then he started-it seemed like he was having a nightmare. I put my hand on his shoulder to try and wake him up and he flipped out. It was like he was trying to get away and he kept saying it wasn't his fault. He began to hyperventilate. I got his head between his knees and he finally got his breath back."

"Why didn't you say anything Mr. Palmer?" Ducky inquired.

"He begged me not to. He said he would handle it, that it was just the case affecting him but that would be over soon. I tried to get him to come back here so you could have a look at him, but he refused."

Ducky looked over at Gibbs

"What now?"

"Hope DiNozzo and David bring us back good news. I'm going up to meet McGee's father."

"Would you like me to join you Jethro."

Gibbs paused.

"That might be good Ducky, thanks."

"Agent Gibbs," Jimmy started, "I'm sorry. I-"

"Don't apologize Palmer, sign of weakness. You did what you were asked to do, hindsight is twenty-twenty you couldn't have known."

Gibbs and Ducky headed upstairs.

_No, but I wish I had _Jimmy thought.

* * *

**I know its short and not very exciting, but I wanted to get something up and this needed to be in at some point. You may hate me if you must. :( But please don't, the next chapter will be better. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

Gibbs and Ducky had just made it to the squad room when Abby called.

"Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs I found something, really someone, it's important-"

"Abby slow down and tell me what you found!"

"The messages on the machine were from a man named Danny Larson. I ran McGee's phone records and Larson called him 342 in the past week. Which is weird because McGee has a restraining order against him and calling is not allowed based on the terms. I've sent it to Tony to put out a BOLO for him."

"I'll do it myself Abby, we need to find him."

Abby started up again

"Oh my goodness! These messages are so mean! Why does he hate Timmy? Ok apparently he blames McGee for his sister dying, but-"

"Abby, find me information."

He hung up.

Thirty minutes later Gibbs got a call.

"Send him up"

"Going to be difficult Jethro?"

"First time I've met one of my agent's parents in a situation like this. I'm not looking forward to it."

Sean McGee stepped out to the elevator and immediately his eyes landed on Gibbs. He stepped forward.

"Commander McGee, I'm Agent Jethro Gibbs, this is Dr. Donald Mallard sorry we have to meet under these circumstance."

"So am I Agent Gibb." He said shaking both of their hands. "How long has Tim been missing?"

"We believe since Friday, we're following up on some leads. Why don't we go up to the conference room and talk?"

Sean McGee nodded and didn't say anything else until they were settled in chairs around the table. He refused any coffee or refreshment. Gibbs had difficulty telling if McGee's father was shocked into silence or was just quiet by nature. He had a feeling it was the latter. Before they began he took a moment to study the man. The resemblance to his agent was remarkable. Same height, same facial structure, same green eyes. Gibbs was also amazed at the likeness in the mannerism. He had only known the man a few minutes and already he had to hide his surprise several times at the similarities in gestures and facial expression.

"Commander-" Gibbs began until the elder McGee interrupted.

"I'm retired; please just call me Sean,"

Gibbs nodded. "Do you know a Danny Larson"

Sean narrowed his eyes in anger, a look rarely seen on his son.

"I know him, he's been harassing Tim for years."

"About what?"

"A childhood…incident that wasn't Tim's fault but Danny Larson believed different."

Gibbs was silent.

"Would that incident happen to be the drowning at Bethesda?"

Sean looked up in surprise

"Yes, how did you know?"

"There was a similar situation recently. McG-Tim seemed to take it hard."

Sean smiled sadly.

"Yeah he does still take it hard."

"Could you tell us what happened?"

Sean sighed, then abruptly stood up and walked to the window.

"I was on duty, we were working on a new processing system and I was overseeing that everything went as planned. I got a call that there had been an accident. The kids on base usually played on the ice, it had always been cold enough to ensure that is was frozen all the way through. But this winter, it was unusually warm. Kids don't think of that though, don't reason it out. The ice was a fun place to play and that's all they saw. From the investigation they concluded the two boys, Brian Deeming and Scott Linden, had fallen in first. The girl, Scarlett Linden, fell in shortly after. Tim ran over and tried to pull her out, but he got pulled in too."

"He was pulling her out?" Gibbs asked wanting to know all the details to try and find a reason Tim might feel guilt.

"Yeah, by that time some Marines had spotted the kids and they both told investigators that Tim ran over and almost had the girl out. I guess a current caught her and pulled him in too. That's why the boys had no hope; they were pulled too far under."

Sean shook his head sadly.

"Mary Linden lost too kids that day. Anyway I got to the hospital as fast as I could. Olivia , my wife was hysterical. No one would tell her anything. Someone finally came out and talked to us. Both kids, Tim and Scarlett, were on life support, little brain activity. The next day the doctor sat down with us and told us there was almost no hope of Tim waking up. He suggested-" Sean faltered and took a breath.

"Take your time" Gibbs counseled

"It's been over 20 years and still…" Another deep breath.

"The doctor suggested we take Tim off of life support. We said no. We found out later Mary decided to take Scarlett off. She died in a few hours."

Sean was staring at the table.

"They said we were selfish," he said absently, "to allow him to lay there and suffer with no hope of recovery. Maybe we were. We just couldn't-We just couldn't let him go. He woke up the next day, no reason, no explanation, his brain just clicked on started breathing on his own. We should have been happy, we _were_ happy, but always in the back of your mind."

"Three children dead." Ducky finished.

Sean swallowed and nodded.

"Yeah"

Gibbs didn't really want to go into this but he knew dredging up the bad memories were necessary.

"He was attacked after?"

The elder McGee frowned deeply

"Yeah about 2 week after he left the hospital he was jumped by some kids coming home from school."

"Any idea why?"

Sean stopped for a moment and seemed to be trying to find the right words and then work up the courage to say them.

"Tim tells me you were a Marine, so before I get into this I want to clarify that I have nothing but the greatest respect for the Corp. I have friends who are Marines. I can take the kidding between the branches; it doesn't bother me a bit."

He paused. Gibbs and Ducky exchanged glances.

"There was something about that base, I don't know…Actually I do know." Sean said self correcting.

"There was a Marine Lieutenant who took that friendly rivalry to extremes. He conditioned the Marines under his command to believe that not only were they better but that Navy personnel were less. Several of my sailors were attacked and hazed beyond the normal, so much so that they ended up in the hospital. I'm afraid that attitude transferred to their children. The three children that died were Marines, the only one that lived was Navy."

"You think the adult condoned this?" Ducky asked shocked.

"Taken that far, against a child? No I don't, but I think they taught their kids they were better, the kids were hurting and looked for a place to place that blame and guilt. This attack had been building for weeks; Tim was being harassed at school. I put in for a transfer shortly after he got out of the hospital. It just wasn't a good environment to be in. Add that to the fact that Scott and Scarlett's brother Danny was on base at that time spreading stuff around and that fanned the flames.

"Danny was mentally unstable, he had been in and out of psychiatric wards. His father was deceased; Sergeant Linden was his step father. He was devoted to his sister and really took her death hard. I think he was also looking for someone to blame. Tim didn't help the situation by being so willing to accept that blame and guilt, but he did. I've been on other bases and I've known a lot of Marines and I've never seen anything like this.

Gibb's gut was churning. He wasn't sure he wanted the answer to this, but some things were starting to fit together.

"Who was the Marine Lieutenant?"

"Robert Wilson"

Gibbs suspected, with it all tying together, he almost knew, still he could hardly hid his dismay. He quickly asked another question to disguise any lull in conversation.

"Could you tell us about the attack?"

"Olivia called me at work from our house. She had come home and found blood on the door handle and in the hallway. I'm amazed she didn't pass out, Livia never did handle blood well."

He almost smiled

"She found Tim, um…he was-he was hiding in his closet. She said he wouldn't even let her touch him at first." Sean said bitterly

"Took him to the hospital. Ten stitches in the head, fractured right wrist. Cuts and brusies all over. He would never tell me who did it."

"Never?" Gibbs asked surprised.

"He told me about five kids, one finally stopped the others long enough for him to get away, but he refused to tell me who it was. At first I was angry, I couldn't believe he was just going to let them get away with this, but then I decided at what cost. Tim had never lied to me and I'm sure I could have forced him to tell me, but did he really need it at that point? It's one of the few things I have let slide."

"It was probably a wise move." Ducky assured.

Sean only nodded.

"How long until you were transferred?"

"Five weeks"

"Goodness he stayed on base for 5 more weeks?" Ducky asked in surprise.

"No" Sean's mouth twisted a funny way in anger and disgust. "He didn't stay on the base. As soon as he got out of the hospital I took him and Olivia to my parents a few hours away. They stayed there until I got my orders. I should have done that from the beginning, but I never dreamed this would happen."

"No" Ducky agreed "I don't imagine anyone could."

* * *

Tim guessed by the light he felt that it was day. If his mind was still working correctly that meant he had been here for three nights and almost three days. It was Monday. He knew it was an impossibility for his team to be looking for him, after all he couldn't come back to the office until the case was over. He prayed there had been some resolution on the case over the weekend and someone would be looking for him by now, but he knew the probability of that was almost zero. He felt a pang of guilt as he chastised himself.

_The reason the case is taking so long is because screwed up the evidence. I hope Gibb's gut kicks in and he runs a trace on the phone. I don't know that it will help me much since we've moved, but at least maybe they'll know I'm missing._

Tim tried to shift and groaned. Every part of his body ached, throbbed, was numb or stiff. His captor was seeing to it that he suffered in every way. Breathing was extremely difficult as was staying conscious.

_I deserve it, it was my fault._ He thought miserably.

Suddenly he heard a noise behind him and involuntarily flinched sending an almost indescribe wave of pain through his body.

"Hello McGee" A calm voice greeted him. "Danny stepped out for a minute so why don't we take this opportunity to pick up on our last conversation?"

McGee was silent. It hurt to speak and he was difficult to understand so he had been saving his strength and breath for something more worthwhile then talking to this scum.

"Have you made a decision?"

No answer

"McGee I can end your suffering. My nephew is going to torture you for two more days. Think of two more days of agony and pain. I will end that now with a bullet in your head if you help me."

McGee couldn't stand it any longer.

"I can't believe you think that's a good offer." He managed to get out.

A laugh

"It's a great offer. You're going to die anyway. You can choose to die slowly and in pain or I can end it quickly and mercilessly. Just tell me where the jacket is?"

"Don't know."

"My offer won't last forever. Tell me where it is and I might spare your team."

"No you won't. You're going to kill them too."

"True, but they will also have the option of quickly or slowly depending on how they cooperate."

Upstairs a door slammed. McGee started to tremble. He hated that he couldn't stop; he hated the fear he felt.

"I think I hear my nephew. I'll let you two talk about old time. Think about my offer McGee, while your senses are still intact."

McGee heard footsteps on the stairs and had never felt more alone than at that moment.


	13. Chapter 13

**I appreciate the compliments and critiques. I corrected some of my earlier grammatical and spelling mistakes in Chapter 12 and resubmitted. Sorry about that, I put it up in a hurry.**

**Anyway Chapter 13 is here! Let me know what you think. :)**

* * *

Tony and Ziva were if possible even more silent on the way back to NCIS than they had been on the way to the payphone. They had left agent searching the neighborhood of mostly abandoned building. There were no traces of Tim yet. They had wanted to keep searching until they found him, but they wanted to get the phone back to Abby to make sure they were even in the right neighborhood at all.

Most of the silence was due to the fact that each agent was lost in their own thoughts about Tim. Tony had known and worked with McGee longer than he had worked with anyone save Gibbs and Abby. He didn't think he could handle losing Tim, his partner, his friend. He had watched McGee grow from a stuttering probie to an agent he trusted with his own life.

Ziva had always been amazed by Tim's temperament and patience. She didn't know how someone of his gentle nature did the job they did, saw what they saw. She respected his skills and knew he was a good investigator. Tim had always treated her with respect and she truly considered him a friend. She took pride in the control she kept of her feelings which is why she had been so surprised at the strong emotional reaction Tim's obvious kidnapping had brought up in her. It was more than fear or anger. It was protectiveness and a dread at what might be happening to him at that moment.

* * *

Tony and Ziva dropped the payphone off with Abby.

"Did you find McGee?" she asked eagerly.

"No sign yet, all we have is the phone." Tony grunted as he dropped it on the table. Abby's face dropped for a second, then relit.

"Daddy McGee's here" she announced.

"Really?" Ziva asked surprised. "That was certainly fast."

"Huh? Oh Gibbs didn't call him. Right after you guys left he called Tim's phone and we answered. He's upstairs talking to Bossman now. I'm going to go see him."

"Shouldn't you start running the phone?" Tony asked

"Yes, that's where you come in. I'll start working and when he comes down with Gibbs you call me. "

"Abby-"

"Promise?"

Tony sighed.

"I promise"

Ziva smiled at how easily the boys always gave in to Abby

Abby continued.

"Plus I have information Gibbs needs to hear, so when we come back down here I can get started."

"Abby," Ziva started cautiously. "You seem very calm."

"I have to stay strong for Timmy." She said matter-of-factly. Her lip trembled for a moment. "He needs me at the top of my game. Now go and don't forget to call me."

Tony and Ziva headed to the squad room to start working. It wasn't long before they heard voices and looked up to see Gibbs and Ducky heading their way with a man who looked very familiar.

Ziva almost did a double take. This has to be McGee's father, the resemblance was uncanny. She caught Tony's eye just as he got off the phone with Abby to tell her the time had arrived.

The trio stopped and Tony felt a pang of sympathy for McGee's father. He looked exhausted and worried. He was not surprised to find traces of anger in his eyes as well.

He decided to make a better first impression with the elder McGee than he had made with his son. Tony got up and stuck out his hand.

"Commander McGee? I'm Tony DiNozzo, Tim and I work together. I'm…so sorry this happened."

Ziva was right behind him.

"Ziva David. I am sorry to meet you this way."

Sean shook both their hands and nodded.

"Me too, I would have preferred it another time. Tim speaks highly of you both. "

There was a silence no one really knew how to fill. Luckily Abby ran up to bridge the gap. She ran past Tony, Ziva, Gibbs, and Ducky, almost tackling the Sean McGee with a hug. He only barely managed to keep his balance as Gibbs not so gently pried her off.

"Abby!"

Sean gave the ghost of a smile

"Abby. I assumed as much."

"Commander McGee I am so sorry! I want you to know I will not rest until Tim has been found and brought home. Well not home, but here, and really he spends enough time here that-"

Gibbs only had to give her a look to get her back on track.

"Sorry" she said looking truly contrite. "I will find him."

"Find Danny Larson you'll find Tim" Sean said bitterly.

"We've got a BOLO out for him, he's only a suspect until we talk to him sir." Gibbs reminded

"Who is Danny Larson?" Tony asked

"He left McGee all these mean messages; he called over 300 times in the last week." Abby blurted out before Gibbs could stop her.

Sean McGee's face got darker with each word.

"What?" He asked so angrily that Abby took a step back.

Gibbs shot her a glare and tried to control the situation

"I don't think-"

"I want to hear the messages."

"No" Gibbs said putting his foot down. "They are evidence, they would not help you, they would not do anything but piss you off more. There were dozens on that machine that had been listened too but not deleted. Tim kept them and listened to them and it didn't do him any good."

"I can-"

"Keep your temper? I doubt it. Why do you want to hear someone tear down your son? What do you think that will solve? Hearing them won't help you and it won't find Tim."

Sean looked deflated. Ducky grabbed a chair and guided him to it.

Abby timidly stepped back up and asked.

"Tim had a restraining order against Larson, why didn't he just call it in?"

"Tim only got the restraining order to get his mother, his sisters, and a friend in college off his back. He didn't want it and I don't think ever had any intention of using it. That's why I didn't insist on it."

"Why would he not use it?" Ziva inquired.

Sean paused

"Tim…empathized with Larson."

"In what way?" Ducky inquired

"Danny was 10 years older than Scott and 11 years older that Scarlett. He saw that Abby, Ziva, and Tony were confused not having been there for the earlier conversation. "His half brother and half sister that died in the drowning." he clarified.

"Tim is 10 years older than Sarah and 11 years older than Emily. He is very, very protective of those girls." Sean finished.

Gibbs had to smile

"Yeah we know."

"I didn't know he had two sisters" Abby said

"Yeah and you won't hear of Emily. She's the youngest and Sarah polar opposite. She likes to stay under the radar, out of trouble. Sarah seems to enjoy being in the hot box."

Sean shook his head.

"That protectiveness is a lot my fault though. When I was deployed I would leave and tell Tim to take care of his mother and sister. He's my oldest son. I expected him to handle things while I was away. He took that responsibility very seriously; he never disappointed me. I was talking to him, one day, about letting Larson harass him and he told me he didn't do anything because he couldn't imagine losing one of his sisters and certainly not both in one accident. He doesn't see Larson for the mentally disturbed person that he is. Tim looks at it though his own lens."

"The lens of a protective older brother." Ducky mused. "Still I'm surprised he put up with it for so long."

Sean snorted.

"Tim got his mother's personality. I am not nearly as patient or easy-tempered. I wanted to do something then. Tim just wanted to forget it all, but he's always taken things to heart that he shouldn't, things that just make it harder for him."

He paused

"I'll get out of your hair Agent Gibbs. Thank you for seeing me. I certainly appreciate it."

Gibbs shook his hand.

"We'll let you know as soon as we hear anything."

"Thank you, sir. Thank you."

* * *

The doors on the elevator had barely shut…

"Gibbs, Gibbs! I have stuff for you in my lab!"

"Am I going to like it Abby?"

A looked passed across her face he couldn't read and that shocked him. If there was always one person he could read it was Abby.

"What is it Abbs?"

She scrunched up her mouth.

"You had better come see."

* * *

**What do you think? I promise we will have more Tim soon. I hope to get Chapter 14 up sooner as well. Everyone have a great weekend!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I wasn't going to post until tomorrow, but I got done a little early so here it is. Thank you all so much for the reviews. I smile so much when I see them in my inbox at work I'm sure my coworkers think I'm crazy. Anyway, thank you!**

* * *

Back in her element Abby spread her arms wide.

"Ok what do you want first?"

"Whatever it was that made you make that face upstairs." Gibbs said digging to try and find what had caused that reaction.

"Oh I mean besides that, that's for last

Gibbs gave her a look.

Tony jumped in.

"Hey, what was the prescription for?"

"What prescription?" Abby asked.

"We found an unfilled prescription and resignation letter at McGee's apartment." Ziva said.

Abby's eyes filled with tears.

"He's resigning? This is all my fault I was so mean. I-"

"Abby we will find him and see if we can make this right I promise." Gibbs said and turned to Tony. "And the prescription is none of your business DiNozzo because it doesn't relate to the case, got it?"

"Yes Boss"

"Abby," Gibbs said exasperated, "what have you got?"

"Ok," she said trying to compose herself, "like I was saying upstairs and I am so sorry I didn't think how McGee's dad would react to knowing about the messages. Anyway there are dozens; he called McGee about 342 times this past week. Some of those messages are not nice at all. A lot of them threaten Tim so even without a restraining order he could have done something."

"You heard why he will not Abby." Ziva said.

"I know I know. On with the information tour I dug into Danny's history and it is messed up. He was committed to a psychiatric ward when he was 14 for threatening to kill his father. He actually did kill their cat."

"Violent" Ducky observed, "that does not bode well for Timothy."

"He stayed there for several years. His father died and his mother remarried Sgt Aaron Linden and had two more kids, Scott and Scarlett. Danny had just gotten out of anther hospital when they died. Not long after that he was committed again, but there was something different this time. Before the accident apparently his violence rants was "unfocused"." She said making quotes with her fingers. "Afterwards his talk and threats had a very specific focus."

"McGee" Gibbs finished grimly

Abby nodded sadly. "Yeah, I can't access complete records, but from what I could hack into he was very disturbed and obsessed with revenge."

Suddenly one computer dinged, McGee's face came to the screen alongside his finger prints. Abby turned her attention there.

"Ok we have a match. The payphone had been wiped clean and I haven't had time to run the money yet, but inside the slot where the money falls down there was one perfect finger print. I guess we got lucky or unlucky. At least we're in the right general area." She turned to Gibbs with crossed arms and a pout on her face. "Gibbs I want McGee to be here, not," she threw her arms up, "wherever he is!"

"I know Abbs. What else?"

"The thing you're not going to like."

"Abby say it already."

"I hacked into McGee's home computer to see if I could find some information he kept from us. "

"Abby, what did you find on his computer and why won't I like it?"

"I was on his desktop when a chat he had from a few days ago, Tuesday, popped up. You know how…well you don't know, but when you're chatting if you don't close the application it just stays there and comes up again if someone comes online."

"Is there a point?

"I wasn't going to read the chat, but then some words caught my eye. I don't know if it's related-"

"If I have to ask again-"

"Ok let me set it. Tim was IM-ing with a girl named Christy Sparks. Apparently they went to college together. Christy comments that he seems down, he says it's a case, she said you're more down than usual so he spills his gut. She apparently knows about the drowning, she knows he was beaten up. So he makes a confession and makes her promise not to tell." She looked straight at Gibbs. "Wilson lied about the attack to cover his butt. He knew it happened, he was there."

Gibbs was actually shocked into silence; that was the last think he expected to hear. He would look back on that moment later and recall that for a few moments his mind was completely blank.

Tony jumped in.

"No, that's not possible. Commander Wilson wouldn't do that. Anyway McGee would have said something"

Abby got that funny look on her face again.

"Anthony" Ducky said gently. "I'm sure Timothy was hesitant to voice accusation against someone you and Jethro consider a friend.

"Perhaps he questioned whether or not he would be doubted." Ziva said with a pointed look at Tony which he ignored.

"Umm," Abby started quietly, "that's some of it but not the root of the reason."

She turned back to the computer. "I'll put it up on the screen and you can read the IM chat."

Everyone gathered around the screen.

_TM: I need to tell somebody this, but you have to promise not to tell anyone ever. I know I sound like a 7 year old but this is important to me_

_CS: I promise_

_TM: You know I told you about when I was a kid at Bethesda and 3 of my friends drowned. Then some kids attacked me after school?_

_CS: Yes_

_TM: Some marines were murdered recently and we're investigating. We talked to their CO today, Robert Wilson, he as a Lieutenant on base at that time. He and my Dad were kind of at odds, Wilson didn't really like the Navy. _

_TM: Anyway I remember when I was attacked, I was walking home from school and about 5 kids jumped me. They knocked to the ground and started hitting me. I tried to get up and got kicked in the head so after that most of my concentration was focused on protecting me face and head. I kept trying to get up and I couldn't, but one time I almost did and before they knocked me down again I saw something. _

_CS: What was it?_

_TM: It was Lieutenant Wilson. I saw him and I thought it will stop in a minute. He'll come over and break up the fight. But when that didn't happen, I assumed I imagined him being there. One girl finally pulled enough of them off me that I was able to get up. I started to run and I don't know what made me do it, but I turned around to look. He was there Christy. Wilson was there the whole time watching. I didn't imagine it. _

Gibbs, who still hadn't recovered from the first shock, was so stunned he could have been knocked over with a feather. He happened to glance at Tony and that shock turned to sympathy for the younger man. That rush compassion could hardly compare though to what he felt for Tim. He couldn't imagine what the young man had gone through being assaulted and then having to feel he should cover it up. Gibbs knew Tim had been picked on as a child; imagination could come up with some terrible scenarios, but none like this. Gibbs though he knew Wilson pretty well, they had served together, but he would never have believed this. On the other hand Tim was about as likely to lie as the sky was to turn green. His mind flashed back to Tim's first kill, the accidental shooting of the Metro detective. He had told Ziva Tim didn't know how to lie. He still believed that. Unfortunately that only left one option: Wilson had watched a child endure a vicious beating at the hands his peers and done nothing.

Abby glanced back and forth between Tony and Gibbs as they continued reading.

_CS: He didn't do anything?_

_TM: No. I've been picked on a lot in my life and I'm sure a lot of adults knew about it, but I've never been beaten up before and had an adult just stand there and watch. Then I saw him the other day talking about how it never happened and I just made it up and it felt like somebody had punched me. I just don't really know how I should feel._

_CS: Did you tell your dad? At the time I mean_

_TM: No_

_CS: Why not?_

_TM: I was afraid what he might do to Wilson. I mean the last thing my dad needed at that point was a court martial for attacking an officer. He was trying to get transferred. I didn't want to be the one to jeopardize that._

"A little young to be protecting his father's career don't you think Jethro?" Ducky said commented.

Gibbs grunted and turned back to Abby.

"This still doesn't explain why he wouldn't say something to me."

Abby fell silent while Gibbs studied her

"Why Abby?" he asked softly hoping the reason wasn't what he suspected. Surely Tim knew he could trust them. Even with information like that. They would have been surprised, but they would have believed him. Even Tony couldn't have denied that.

She scrolled down the screen.

"Keep reading."

_CS: I get your dad, but why wouldn't you say anything at work?_ _Why are you protecting him?_

_TM: I'm not protecting him._

_CS: You're afraid they won't believe you the people you work with?_

_TM: A little, but I could convince them, it's not like my word against Wilson's. There was an investigation, there was documentation. It wouldn't be hard._

_CS: Then why? Who are you protecting? Don't try to lie to me or get out of it because you know you'll eventually tell me. We have been friends for too long; I know you better sometimes than you know yourself._

_TM: You said it there, we've been friends for a long time. How would you feel if I turned out to be different than you had always thought?_

_CS: I don't understand_

_TM: Wilson is friends with Tony and Gibbs. He's done a lot for Tony. I don't know how many old friends Gibbs has but I know Tony doesn't have many mentors. I feel like it would almost be wrong to say anything._

_CS: It wouldn't be wrong Tim, it would be wrong not to say anything._

_TM: Tony doesn't need to know this. Gibbs doesn't either but Tony especially. Who would this benefit? No one. It was a long time ago, I'm over it._

_CS: Except that you're not. Did it ever occur to you that maybe Tony and Gibbs would want to decide for themselves the rightness or wrongness of what happened? And just so I have it clear in my head you are hiding this huge character flaw to protect your co-workers?_

_TM: Tony and Gibbs hardly need my protection._

_CS: Then why are you?_

_TM: Christy please just drop it. The only reason for me to tell it now would be to get it out, which I did just now, or for some sort of revenge. Yeah it might bother Wilson, but it would hurt Tony more. He respects this guy. I can't do it, I won't. Tony is my friend and I'm not going to do that to him over something that happened over 20 years ago. _

The conversation continued on with Christy trying to convince Tim to tell and him just as adamantly refusing to and then once again swearing her to secrecy. Gibbs had stopped reading though, the point Abby was trying to make already driven home.

There was silence.

"I'm sorry" Abby finally said.

Tony was hanging his head and he didn't look up.

"I am like his friend Christy. I still cannot believe he would hide something like that even with the reasons he stated." Ziva commented.

"You must remember his first role in life was not Probie." Ducky interjected suddenly.

"What do you mean Duck?" Gibbs asked

"When Timothy first joined NCIS, he was the youngest agent on the team. Ziva came along and he was no longer chronologically the youngest but he was still the most inexperienced in life, innocent, at time even gullible."

"What you forget is he is the oldest son of a Navy officer, two younger sisters and a mother he was charged to protect at an early age. He was a college student at 16. Not worldly but in many ways very mature for his age. He comes here and the roles change. He is not longer the oldest or the most in control. We only ever saw him as a wide-eyed young man."

"I think what he has done, keeping this information from us, is a testament to how much he cares for this team especially in regards to you and Anthony and how much he has grown. He was a probie when he started here but he has grown matured and thus reassumed the role of protector his father groomed him to be. In such a role he has come to feel it is his duty and obligation to protect, even to his detriment, his surrogate father and brother from unnecessary news that would surely be unpleasant. Much like you saw his desire to protect his father from himself and his own temper."

"What do you mean unnecessary?" Gibbs wanted to know.

"Timothy would never keep detail of a case hidden no matter how unpleasant. But, as he told his friend, no one _needed_ to know this. It doesn't make a difference either way in the grand scheme of things.

"It does matter!" Tony yelled suddenly slamming his fist on the table. He turned away. "This is wrong, this is just so wrong-" He choked off the last word. "Why… I just don't…" He couldn't seem to gather his thoughts enough to even make a sentence.

Gibbs made a decision

"Tony, take a break"

"No, I'm fine Boss"

"What part of that sounded like a request, take a break now."

Tony looked like he wanted to argue but with a look from Gibbs he finally turned around and left.

When he was gone Gibbs turned to his next order of business.

"Ziva, go get Wilson. I want to talk to him." he said coldly.

"With pleasure Gibbs."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed it. It makes me kind of sad to write which might mean I'm getting too wrapped up in this fictional story. Oh well.**

**The next chapter will probably be shorter, but will then pick up from there. Hope everyone has a great rest of the weekend. Let me know what you think!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Going into the mind of a crazy person. Fortunately I'm not crazy so I hope this is accurate and believable.**

**I didn't start out with the intention of this to become so long, but there was more I wanted to explore so here we are. Hope no one minds too much. :)**

**Thank you, thank you for the encouraging reviews!**

* * *

Danny was sitting down for a rest. He had been going pretty hard. He stared at the piece of trash sitting tied to a chair in front of him only semi-conscious. Part of him wanted to wrap his hands around the man's throat and strangle the life out of him, but another part wanted him to last and suffer a little longer. Besides he had hardly gotten all his thoughts out. Sure shrinks were ok to talk to when there was no one else, they had to listen, that was their job. The annoying thing about them though was how the always wanted to change your mind. They would let you tell about all the injustice you and your family had endured, who had wronged you, what _should_ be done to people like that, but in the end they just wanted to tell you it was wrong. And Danny knew it wasn't wrong. There was nothing wrong with making people pay for what they did. Nothing.

Then there was his uncle. Danny didn't like he was always telling his nephew what to do. _I can take care of myself _Danny thought. Still he was forced to admit Uncle Jerry had thought of some things he didn't. It never occurred to him they needed to move after McGee had escaped and attempted to use the phone. It was a good thing they did. He had gone over there this morning and seen NCIS agents everywhere presumably looking for the missing agent.

That had actually made him angrier. Why did they think McGee was worth the effort? If they knew what he did they would have just left him to his fate. If they knew they would think less of him, much, much less. He leaned forward to speak to his captive.

"You're getting off easy. You've had your whole life to live; my sister was only 7 when she died. My sister suffered. Can you imagine what she went through her final conscious moments? Drowning, not able to get help, no one to save her?"

"See in the loony bin they told me you did understand cause you were there too, but now you're here alive and she's dead. That doesn't seem fair. My mom tried to tell me you had pulled her out, but I know that's a lie. You're a coward; you only wanted to save yourself. Did you know my mother committed suicide a few years after that? Hmmm? My stepdad was killed overseas. I didn't really like him, but I guess she did. Anyway that freed me from anymore of her advice. I can do what I want now."

He paused. His prisoner hadn't spoken. Danny wasn't really sure he wanted him too. He didn't want excuses, but it would have been nice to hear him beg and plead for his life knowing all the while that it would be denied. McGee had stirred at his voice so he knew he heard him, but he showed no signs of speaking so Danny continued.

"I've waited so long. I wanted you to feel some of the terror and helplessness she must have felt. To drown alone, trying to live."

A voice slurred from exhaustion and pain finally mumbled too softly to hear.

Danny erupted and backhanded him across the face.

"Don't talk to me you piece of crap. You're happy their dead and you're alive. You don't care that she died; if you had you would have died too. You should have died. My sister was worth a hundred of you."

He leaned in close and his presence made McGee shudder.

"I thought about taking your sisters. It would have been more parallel. My two siblings gone, your two sisters gone. See, perfect. But they were innocent and it wouldn't have satisfied my dreams, the dreams I've had for 24 years. I've imagined all the ways I could hurt you, cause you pain. I want to watch. My favorites ended up being the cattle prod, chains, and this." He said kicking a bucket causing McGee to flinch. Pretending not to see the effect Danny continued.

"Beating is really the best though. Every time I hit you with my bare hands it makes me feel like something is being repaid. Somehow we're a little closer to being even. "

He abruptly got up.

"But we'll never be even, not really."

He picked up the bucket of water and the sloshing sound sent McGee into a panic. Danny's eerily composed voice was completely out of place.

"Let's go again"

Ducky had asked Gibbs if he wanted to talk. He didn't. He wanted to think. Alone. Having sent Ziva for Wilson and Tony for a break Gibbs sat at his desk taking in the silence of the bullpen. Normally he enjoyed this; it meant his team was working, doing what they did best. Tim would be down in the lab with Abby working on some computer stuff he didn't understand. Tony and Ziva would be out following a lead, but not today.

He looked at Tim's empty desk and remembered with a pang that last time he had seen him standing there. He remembered chewing him out for the misplacement of evidence. Why? McGee was always careful. God knows this wasn't a regular occurrence for him, but something about it had rubbed Gibbs the wrong way.

Gibbs hated that McGee was missing, hated that anger had been the last thing he had seen from his Boss, he hated that his senior field agent was hurting for a variety of reasons, hated that his friend had lied to him, hated that McGee was most certainly being mistreated by some deranged person who despised him him, but there was another nagging feeling bothering him.

McGee had kept information from Gibbs to protect him and Tony. If he had been asked at that moment Gibbs honestly couldn't have said if he was angry or proud. He was the one who protecting people. When his team needed him they leaned on him. He wasn't use to someone trying to shield him from emotional hurt and certainly the last person he expected that from was Tim McGee.

The baby of his team protecting _him._ It was perhaps one of the most shocking discoveries of a day that had held plenty. In truth McGee sometimes slipped under Gibbs' radar. He considered his team family, everyone of them and while Gibbs would go to the ends of the earth for the young man as he would anyone on his team McGee rarely needed the emotional support the others did. In reality McGee needed Gibbs the least of anyone on the team as an emotional bulwark. McGee had a father who obviously cared about him. So while Gibbs would have almost expected this from Tony or Ziva who looked to him more as a father, the fact that it came from McGee blindsided him.

Shaking his head he pulled a letter out of his desk that he had only read once and yet somehow it was burned in his mind.

_Special Agent Gibbs,_

_I will take this opportunity to offer my resignation. I know how you feel about apologies and lots of words that aren't necessary, so I will refrain. I do want you to know I regret the way things ended. I have no good excuse for what happened; I doubt you would accept one anyway. _

_Being an NCIS field agent has always been my dream in no small part because I wanted to make a difference, to help people. At this point I have ceased being a help and become a hindrance. A murderer will likely go free because of my carelessness and I cannot in good conscious continue my job under the guise of helping when I am in fact not. _

_I thank you for the confidence you instilled in me. It is more than I ever imagined I could do. It was truly an honor to observe you work and a privilege to work alongside you. Thank you for the opportunity and the faith, however misplaced, you had in a stuttering young man all those years ago. _

_Sincerely_

_Timothy McGee_

Gibbs sighed. He had to find a way to make this right. Abby had been right they couldn't let him quite over some lost evidence because in the end the good he had done in his short career far outweighed the bad.

_Got to find him first._ Gibbs though ruefully.

The elevator ding brought Gibbs back to the present. Ziva emerged first and pulled along with her a disgruntled looking Wilson. Gibbs began to gather his material. He knew what he wanted and he intended to get it.

_Here we go._

* * *

**As I said longer story than I expected. I just kept adding. It will probably be several more chapters. We have to find Tim and bring him home!**

**Please, please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Yay for reviews! I told you guys before my coworkers think I'm crazy staring at my computer and grinning. I'm glad you all like the story. Enjoy!**

* * *

When Tony returned from his forced break, Ziva's desk was empty and Gibbs was about to walk out of the bullpen.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked.

"Interrogation"

"Who's there?"

"A person of interest in this investigation." Gibbs said evasively.

"Larson?" Tony asked hopefully

"No"

Tony was getting tired of this; his patience was already pretty thin.

"Then who?"

Gibbs studied him.

"Robert Wilson is in interrogation. I want to get his part in this cleared up. After all that's been going on I almost wouldn't be surprised if he knew something." Gibbs said moving to get around Tony.

Tony blocked Gibb's path

"I want to talk to him"

"No Tony, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Boss he lied to me. I trusted him. He was more of a father to me than anyone when I was a kid. And, here's the real kicker, the closest person I've ever had to a little brother was trying to protect me from him. What kind of crap is that? I'm the oldest, I'm the senior field agent it's my job to protect him and I couldn't do that. Wilson hurt him when he was a kid and then again the other day when he told that boldfaced lie and you think I'm just going to sit back and not say a thing?"

Tony voice got louder as he progressed until he was yelling, many people looking to see. Gibbs' face remained expressionless, so Tony tried again.

"Gibbs please, I need to know why. I mean let's put aside that it was McGee. Why do that to any kid? He was my role model, I have to know why."

Still staring Gibbs' face softened.

"Come on" he said quietly.

Tony started to follow when Gibbs turned around abruptly causing Tony to almost run into him.

"If I see for a minute you're about to get out of control…"

"Perfect control Boss, I promise."

They reached interrogation just as Ziva was stepping out.

Gibbs frowned.

"Why were you still in there? You brought him in 10 minutes ago."

Ziva looked at him innocently.

"I'm sure you are mistaken Gibbs. Proper procedure is to bring in the witness, take them to interrogation and leave. I, of course, did just that."

Gibbs gave her a look and opened the door, took one look in, shut the door, turned back to Ziva and raised his eyebrow

"Oh yes!" She exclaimed "I forgot to mention, coming here walking down the hall he took the corner sharply. I am afraid he might have hit his nose. I was just brining some tissues to him."

With that she turned and walked toward observation.

Gibb shook his head and entered the room.

Wilson looked up.

"What am I doing here Gibbs? What in the world is going on? That agent, she ran me into a wall outside!"

Gibbs sat across form a man he had at one time considered a friend but now realized he barely knew. Tony stood in the corner looking at Wilson betrayal in his eyes.

"That's not what we're here to talk about."

"Then what? She wouldn't tell me."

"Why did you lie to me?" Gibbs asked softly.

Wilson looked confused.

"I don't know what you mean."

"You told us about the drowning at Bethesda, and then there was an attack on a kid afterwards. You said he made it up, that it never happened."

"That's right."

Gibbs just started at him

"You still sticking with that story?"

"What does this have to do with anything?"

Gibbs pulled out a piece of paper and showed it to Wilson. He pointed to a name at the top.

"Timothy McGee was the kid who alleged the assault and this is a report his parents filed with NCIS about the incident."

Wilson studied the sheet.

"I know the kid was upset and stressed. I didn't realize he filed a report with NCIS-"

"Liar" Tony said from the corner.

The glare from Gibbs kept him from saying anything else.

Gibbs pulled out the pictures from the hospital that went with the report.

"Looks to me like he had a reason to be upset."

Wilson looked away.

"Let's try this again why did you lie to me."

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question!" Tony yelled.

Another look from Gibbs, then he turned back to Wilson

"Timothy McGee is one of my agents," Gibbs said and let those words sink in as he watched Wilson pale despite his efforts to remain nonchalant, "and he said you were there, during the attack."

"He told you that?"

"No, not me, but someone he trusted, someone he knew wouldn't feel betrayed by it."

"He's mistaken"

"Oh yeah cause you been completely truthful with us the whole time." Gibbs let some sarcasm slip through.

"I wasn't there." Wilson said again though not as confidently this time.

Gibbs leaned foward and spoke softly.

"I want the truth now, before I bring "that agent" as you call her, back in here to finish what she started."

Wilson sighed.

"It was for the best."

"What?" Tony asked from the corner. He was thoroughly confused and couldn't possibly see a good scenario from this.

Wilson licked his lips.

"The kids were under a lot of pressure, they had just lost three of their friends. They needed an outlet."

Tony felt his jaw drop as Wilson continued.

"Lieutenant McGee was trying to get transferred but his superiors didn't really see enough of a reason to do it. He would have never been transferred as soon as he was without this…incident. It helped the kids and gave the brass a reason to grant early transfer request. In the end everyone was better off."

Gibbs couldn't believe what he was hearing; it was all he could do not to slam Wilson into the wall. The worst part of it though was he was sure Wilson believed what he was saying; that everyone did benefit. He gave Wilson a look of disbelief.

"You stood there and watched a kid get beat up because you thought it would _help?_

"Utilitarian Gibbs. Most good for the most people. I would have stopped it before it got out of hand."

Gibbs slammed his hand on the photo causing Wilson to jump.

"It got out of hand with the first blow."

As Gibbs looked at Wilson he was not surprised to see not even a trace of guilt there. Wilson squared his shoulders.

"I did what I had to do, overlooked what I had to in order to take care of my Marines and their families."

Gibbs started at him with an open mouth then asked the only question he really wanted to know at that point.

"Where is he?"

"Who?"

"My agent, Tim."

"How should I know? Don't you keep track of your people Gunny?"

"He's missing, kidnapped."

Wilson leaned forward.

"You don't honestly think I would be involved in a kidnapping?"

Gibbs frowned.

"I never thought you would stand by and watch a child become a punching bag because it would help someone relieve stress."

"I don't know where he is Gibbs. Not a clue."

"Where were you Friday night?"

"Out of state at my niece's wedding. You can check with the hotel I stayed at."

Gibbs stood up and walked to the door.

"I'll do that. Oh and I doubt your superiors will be impressed with your utilitarianism theory when I share what happened with them."

He slammed the door shut before he got a response, leaving Tony and Wilson in silence.

Tony looked down at the floor for several minutes before he crystallized in his mind what he wanted to say and looked up.

"You were like a father to me." He said bitterly. "When I couldn't get approval from my dad I looked to you."

"Tony, listen-"

"No you listen. A lot of what I was able to achieve I did because someone, you, had faith in me. The self-confidence feeling of self-worth you gave me was something that changed my life."

He took a breath.

"Tim McGee is my partner, he works hard, he's a good agent, he's put up with my crap for years and is all around one of the finest men I know. And I find out that he is a good man not because of people like you, but in spite of you. You tore him down lower than you ever helped build me up."

Tony was shaking and Wilson refused to look at him.

"Sorry I disappointed you kid."

"Yeah well life's full of it right. I want to know why, but I have a feeling you don't even know that answer yourself."

Tony walked out and leaned heavily against the wall. Ziva came out of observation and stood beside him. She gently touched his arm.

"I am sorry Tony."

Usually he would have pulled away, but this time he didn't.

"Yeah, me too."

* * *

Abby was scrambling in her lab to find something to help her Timmy. She needed him to be found so she could give her biggest and best I'm sorry hug. She had been mean and she didn't slow down enough to think that he might not be alive and might never hear her apology. She stopped counting Caf-Pows after number 7 or maybe 8. Who knows? _Please, please let him be alright_ she thought.

She was running test on all the evidence to see if there were any clues to be gained.

A knock on her door interrupted

One of the case agents, Angela Oakes, stood at her door.

"Hey Abby" she smiled sadly "I heard about Agent McGee. How are you doing?"

"Not good." Abby spied what looked like an evidence bag stashed under her arm. "What have you got?"

"Some evidence and an apology."

"What do you mean?"

"That case that Agent Gibb's team was working on? The two dead marines. I knew some evidence went missing, but I just didn't think to look…"

She trailed off and when Abby still looked confused she continued.

"Last week I went to get the evidence for Agent Richard's investigation, it was all in a pile so I didn't look through each individual item. I haven't had a chance to do that until today. I've been backlogged. I didn't recognize the blazer at first, I was pretty sure it wasn't logged as our evidence and when I looked here on the bag it said it was signed in by Agent McGee."

She looked at Abby sheepishly.

"I guess this jacket from their pile of evidence got on our pile by mistake. I'm so sorry I didn't see it until now."

"Do you have the other evidence too?" Abby asked eagerly

Angela shook her head.

"No I looked through all our stuff twice after I found this. I guess I picked up our stuff before the other went missing. I'm really sorry Abby."

"It's ok Angela, this probably would have been missing too if you hadn't gotten it. Thanks for bringing it to me."

"Let me know if I can help you in any way."

Abby smiled gratefully. She looked around and sighed, there was nothing else she was not doing on McGee's case so she decided to see what she could find from at least one piece of evidence from the original case.

She pulled on gloves and carefully pulled the light brown blazer out of the evidence bag.

"Ok, lets' see what you can tell me."

* * *

Tony headed back to the bullpen still shaking. The late evening sun was coming in through the windows, but Tony had no thoughts of going home. He thought of where they were this morning, it had seemed so long ago. They were going to talk to McGee and try to bring him back; it was going to be a good day. Now several hours later he was emotionally drained. He could hardly believe the developments and at the moment chose to push them out of his head.

Gibbs wasn't there but Ziva was at her desk staring at her computer. She looked up in concern.

"Are you all right Tony?"

"Oh yeah," he said sarcastically "I'm just peachy." He plopped down at his desk

Ziva got up and came over to him.

"Which is bothering you more Wilson or McGee?"

"I really don't know. Well yeah I do. This is McGee's life we're talking about so I'm definitely more upset about him being missing. I just, I just wish McGee had said something, you know. "

Ziva almost smiled.

"We are not so easy to talk to Tony. "

Tony grimaced.

"Yeah I know, I guess I wouldn't want to come to me either."

He leaned forward and rested his chin in his hands.

"This is bad Ziva. I mean yeah, Danny Larson is just a suspect, but I'd bet a month's pay that he's the one who has McGee."

She nodded as Tony continued.

"He isn't going to make some ransom demand or hold McGee for information. We saw the file, he's crazy and he hates, I mean really hates, McGee. There's' a better than average chance McGee is dead right now or close enough that it's not going to make a difference if we find him or not."

"You do not believe that."

"I don't want to believe it, there's a difference. Logically he's probably dead, but…"

Zivas phone started to ring cutting him off. She got up and then leaned back in close to Tony.

"We will find him Tony. None of our guts believe he is dead so I cannot accept what none of us believe to be true."

She straightened and headed to her desk.

"David"

She listened for a moment and her eyes widened.

"Yes we will be right there." She quickly hung up and started dialing.

"What" Tony asked?

"The BOLO Gibbs put out on Larson" she said breathlessly

"Yeah?" Tony prompted her

"Gibbs" she yelled into the phone. "Some Metro found Larson and are holding him for us."

_Take Tony and go_

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**So next chapter I will get into the mind of a crazy person again. Wish me luck! Thanks so much for reading. :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you, thank you for the reviews. We still have several chapters to go, we of course have to find McGee and let him have an Abby hug. :)**

**Thank you all for your support and encouragement!**

* * *

The first thing Gibbs noticed when Tony stepped off the elevator was the uneasiness of his expression. That seemed odd, he would have expected anger or worry, but not this particular look. Even more strange was Ziva also look a bit unsettled. Gibbs watched them closely as they walked toward him with Danny Larson handcuffed and in between them. He was mumbling and staring at the floor as they practically dragged him forward. When Larson finally raised his eyes Gibbs understood the looks on the faces of his agent.

Larson's eyes were wide open darting back and forth and had a wild look in them. It was all Gibbs could do not to shudder as those eyes sent chills down his spine. He knew the man was crazy, but Larson truly looked it.

It was late and few employees were there but the few who were looked up and shrank back at those eyes when they meet them.

Worse still and the sight that turned Gibbs' stomach as they got closer were the dark brown dried spots on Danny's shirt as they got closer. Gibbs had seen dried blood often enough to know what it looked like. He observed the only injures Larson seemed to have were on his hands. They were shredded and Gibbs jaw tightened as recognition set in. Someone's hands looked like that when they had been fighting, more specifically punching. Gibbs didn't have to think long to come up with the object of those blows.

After Tony and Ziva had deposited him in interrogation they meet Gibbs in the hallway.

"Boss" Tony started. Then he just shook his head.

Ziva tried.

"We know he is crazy but…"

"Will you two spit it out?"

"Boss there is something creepy about him, I mean too creepy for words. I've got goose bumps just from the ride we had and I don't think they're going away for a while. I mean he just kept staring at me in the rearview mirror." Tony finally got out shaking his head.

Gibb nodded.

"How did Metro happen across him? They obviously didn't find him with McGee."

_Oh if that had only been the case_ he thought, _then this nightmare would be over_.

"Apparently an off duty Metro officer had gone into a market that afternoon. He noticed a guy mumbling and acting all weird, plus what looked like blood specks on his shirt."

Gibbs watched Ziva 's face tighten in contempt as Tony explained.

"So he kept watching him and then when Larson started to leave he went over to question him. Larson made a break for it, but that didn't last long. Once he got him back to Metro they realized who they had and called us."

Gibbs nodded again and put his hand on the door handle.

"I will go in with you if you would like Gibbs." Ziva offered.

Gibbs smiled slightly

"Appreciate it Ziva, but this interrogation might not follow the norm. You can break his bones later."

* * *

Tony and Ziva entered observation and were surprised to find two people already there.

"What are you two doing here?" Tony questioned.

"I want to see him." Abby said.

"And I as well, I would like to get a deeper look into his mind." Ducky explained.

"I don't know if Gibbs is gonna like this." Tony started

"Tony, he can't see us."

"Abby, its Gibbs, no he can't see you, but he can feel you."

"Shh it is beginning." Ziva interrupted.

* * *

Danny started at him from across the table with those wild eyes. Gibbs decided he didn't want to spend any more time in this room than necessary. Besides each moment was precious time that Tim was still missing.

"Where were you Friday night?"

Danny stared at him.

"Do you know Timothy McGee?"

The wild look in Danny's eyes changed completely to pure hate, but still he didn't say anything.

"Why don't you tell me about him?" Gibbs tried again.

Danny averted his eyes and started to rock back and forth mumbling.

Gibbs wasn't the best interrogator at NCIS for no reason though and as he had told Ziva this interrogation might not follow textbook. There was one tactic he thought of trying but it usually made him sick to his stomach. However it might be the only way to get Larson to open up and if that would save McGee then he resolutely resigned that it must be done.

"Look son I know how you feel. McGee is one of my agents and sometimes, well ," Gibbs sighed as he leaned back, "sometime he can be a problem."

"What is he doing?" Abby demanded.

"Not everyone confesses under the Leroy Jethro Gibbs stare Abby" Tony commented.

"Yes, they do and Gibbs didn't even try!"

"Abigail Tony is quite correct. Many people can withstand a great deal of scrutiny and only when they believe they have reached a sympathetic ear will they spill out their trouble. Gibbs knows how to read people and I'm sure his interrogation method is correct, look he has already broken through." Ducky nodded toward the window, Abby turned to see Danny's face open up a bit as he nodded.

Gibbs leaned forward and spoke softly, confidingly to Larson.

"People think he's a good guy, that he does not wrong. I don't understand it, I can't make them see."

By now Danny was nodding so hard he looked like his head might come off his neck.

Gibbs continued with the question he hoped would open the door to what he really wanted to know

"Danny, what do you do with someone like that?"

"Make them pay." Danny finally spoke. "Make them suffer."

"He hurt you." Gibbs stated.

Danny nodded again

"What did he do to you?"

"He killed my sister."

"Really?" Gibbs raised his eyebrows in interested curiosity urging Danny to continue.

"She drowned when she was just a kid, he stood there and watched her drown. He's guilty. He drowned too, but he came back. It's not fair, if anyone was going to come back it should have been my sister not that stupid kid. He didn't even have any friends, it's not like anyone would have missed him."

Gibbs pushed his anger down, he needed as much information as possible and Danny would only give it to him if he thought he was a friend.

"Have you ever thought about making him pay?"

"Oh yeah, every day."

"What's stopping you?"

"I was in hospitals, talking to stupid people who told me that was wrong."

He suddenly grinned and the sight made Tony sick.

"Nothing stopping me now though."

"Yeah?" Gibbs said calmly.

"I have to make him suffer for my sister. " Danny said as if it were the most logical thing in the world.

"Sure"

"It feels good to see him helpless. I told him that's how she felt, but it was worse for her because she was just a little girl."

Abby was in tears. She turned to Ducky and he held her

Danny continued bitterly

"He didn't care though."

"What makes you say that?"

"He doesn't care about anybody. He's still alive, if he cared he would just die and leave everyone alone."

"You know where Tim McGee is?" Gibbs asked carefully. Part of him wanted Danny to keep talking to find out the depth of his agent's torture and most importantly if he was still alive but Gibbs reasoned all those questions could be answered if they could only find him.

Danny continued as if he hadn't heard.

"I was going to drown him so he could feel what that was like to-"

"Danny, where is McGee?"

Danny suddenly stopped and his face changed.

"I'm not supposed to talk to you."

"You can talk to me Danny, I'm on your side, I'm your friend." Gibbs said trying desperately to reel in a conversation that was dangerously close to getting out of control as Danny started shaking his head furiously.

"You're going to stop me, police always want to stop me. You're trying to trick me to- to talk to you, it won't work. I can't talk to you."

Danny clamed up tighter than before and began to rock. Gibbs sighed any advantage he had was gone, the small window of opportunity closed. Gibbs could see he didn't have any more to gain by acting as a confidant to the mentally disturbed man in front of him so he cut right to the heart of his questioning.

"Where is he?"

Danny looked up at him with daggers in his eyes.

Gibbs slammed the table.

"Tell me where?"

Danny rocked for frantically not looking at Gibbs and started mumbling softly at first but slowly getting louder.

Gibbs sighed realized that was probably as far as he would be able to get. He remembered a time he had allowed Ziva alone with a suspect to obtain some information because they were running out of time to find the missing man. That person had been in their right and sane mind though. Looking at Larson he concluded he was too far gone for even Ziva to get it out of him. In order for Ziva's methods to work, one had to fear pain and Gibbs knew it wouldn't even register with the rocking mumbling man in front of him.

He turned to the window.

"DiNozzo come help me get this shirt off him." He yelled.

As soon as they touched him Danny started screaming and flailing, but it was two against one and it didn't take long for the shirt to be in their hands. Gibbs carefully sealed it in an evidence bag. Abby appeared at the door her mascara streaked. Gibbs handed her the shirt.

"Take this down and run the blood." He said gently giving her a little push toward her lab.

Tony was panting from the struggle. Not just the struggle for the shirt, but the self control he was trying to hard to hang on to. This man had all but admitted he had kidnapped McGee and was torturing him.

He leaned down and whisper to the perpetually rocking form.

"My friend had better be alive when we find him or your body won't be found and you'll wish you had never set eyes on Timothy McGee."

He quickly retreated before he could do or say anything else.

* * *

Gibbs stepped out into the hall way and was met by Ducky.

"Jethro, I wanted to mention something to you. Listening to Danny talk about guilt. I've thought back to when Timothy was asking about the drowning. You will recall he asked me if the man who witnessed the incident and froze up was to blame."

"Yeah."

"He wasn't asking if we blamed the witness he was asking if we blamed him. And the answer-"

"was yes." Gibbs interrupted grimly recalling his harsh words to the young man

_Timothy was contemplating if they could have been saved if that fellow had acted sooner._

_Well yeah McGee he froze and those kids are dead because of it._

"I'm afraid if he is rescued from this he will have quite a bit of misplaced guilt to be dealt with." Ducky said sadly.

"When Duck, when, not if."

* * *

Abby was in tears and her hands were trembling as she scraped a sample of the blood off Larson's shirt to test. She hoped against hope that it didn't belong to McGee, but she knew in her heart that it did. Larson had all but admitted that.

She carefully started the blood analysis. _Timmy is depending on me to do my job._ She thought.

She wandered around her lab for a while then finally settled at her desk to wait out the test results. She heard a ding and rushed into the lab. Her shoulders slumped in frustration. It was the results of one of the hairs she had found on the blazer that Angela had brought to her. She almost hated to waste time running it since it didn't pertain to McGee being missing, but since it had been at the scene of Carrol's murder, the first marine, and that was still their case she proceeded.

The name from the hair was at the top of the sheet she printed out.

_Jerry Niles_

Something began to eat at Abby. She knew that name, had heard it, but where. A quick search told her.

_Employer: Naval Criminal Investigative Service, Navy Yard, Washington D.C._

She quickly dialed.

"Gibbs get down here now."

* * *

"Ok "she started once everyone was assembled. "You remember last week when the evidence went missing from the murder."

"It has been found?" Ziva asked in surprise.

"Not all of it but Angela Oakes accidently took one piece by mistake." She held up the jacket. "It was at the first crime scene. There were hairs on it. I ran them and…" she pointed to the screen.

"Jerry Niles" Tony read. "Why does that name sound so familiar?"

"Because he works here." Abby said excitedly. "Well not here but NCIS. He's in the legal department."

"I know him." Ziva said suddenly. "He almost sneaks around like he is hiding. I do not like him."

"Well now you have a reason, go to legal and get him." Gibbs instructed.

Tony and Ziva exchanged glances. Abby grinned.

"Gibbs you realize it's almost Tuesday, it's like 11:48pm. Everyone has gone home."

"What are you two still standing here for? Go to his home and get him."

"Gibbs," Tony paused again, "what if a lead comes in on McGee, the Marines are dead, McGee could still be alive. Couldn't we get Niles tomorrow? I mean he probably doesn't know we know."

"He doesn't have the jacket DiNozzo, he probably stole the evidence in the first place. He's going to want to get it all and if he figures out what happened he'll run."

Tony started again.

"I have to be here if-"

"Uh-oh" Abby said from her computer. Gibbs was at her side immediately.

"You know I hate that Abby."

"I was looking though to see if he had any relatives and there aren't many."

"I'm guessing the few are important though."

Abby took a deep breath.

"He had a sister named Mary. Mary Niles, then she married Kevin Larson, after he died she married Sergeant Aaron Linden."

"Niles and Larson…" It hit Gibbs like a ton of bricks.

"Danny Larson is Jerry Niles' nephew?" Tony asked in disbelief.

_Oh, hell _Gibbs thought as he ran out, everything suddenly clicking and falling into place.

Though Tony and Ziva were younger they didn't beat Gibbs to where he was going. Gibbs pulled open the door. The sight was one he had expected but it still tore at his heart.

Interrogation was empty.

* * *

**More to come soon! I hope this week at work won't be too busy and I can have some downtime afterwards to write. Enjoy!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Longest chapter yet, yay! I went back and forth about whether or not to split this chapter up but I decided I didn't want to. Hope you enjoy it, it get intense at the end.**

**Thank you all so much for the sweet, encouraging reviews! Let me know of any area of improvement. :)**

* * *

Gibbs cursed at the empty interrogation room as he kicked the chair.

Tony's mouth was hanging open.

"How did-?"

"Call security lock down the Navy Yard now! If he's already gone put out a BOLO."

Ziva nodded and disappeared.

"Tony find who was guarding Larson."

Tony ran out the door and nearly ran into the agent they had left behind to watch Larson not long before. He grabbed the man's shoulders.

"Where is he? Why weren't you here? Where did you go?"

"W-what? A-an agent from legal came and said Director Vance had sent him to talk to Larson, he needed legal counsel-"

"Who was it?" Gibbs demanded.

"I'm not sure…"

"Jerry Niles?"

"I-I'm not sure, I only see him around sometimes."

Gibbs headed back in the squad room while Tony continued to grill the hapless agent. Ziva was just finishing up a call. He looked at her and she shook her head.

"He had already gone Gibbs, but I put out the BOLO. I just wish we knew which direction he was going."

Gibbs sat down shaking his head.

"This is unacceptable." Ziva spoke suddenly. "That man cannot be with McGee even one minute longer."

"I know Ziva." He said grimly.

Gibbs' phone rang.

"Yeah, Gibbs"

"Gibbs," Abby said her voice trembling, "the blood on the shirt is McGee's." As she said it she started to cry.

Gibbs sighed. Of all the turns this case could take this was absolutely the worst he could imagine. They had succeeded in capturing his agent's kidnapper only to lose him. There was a very real possibility they were heading back to the hideaway to kill Tim and skip town.

"I'm on my way down Abby." He said as he shut the phone.

"Abby's got something?" Tony asked jogging in.

"She seems to be the only one pulling up answers, I'm going to see if she can pick up anything else."

As they reached the lab Abby flew into Gibbs' arms.

"Gibbs," she begged "please tell me what is going on. I went to interrogation and no one was there and everyone was acting strange-"

"Larson's gone." he said quietly.

"Gone where? Where would he go?"

"He escaped, Abbs. His uncle probably helped him."

"What no, he-he can't, no, no no-"

"Abby, calm down"

"Why are they doing this? What could Jerry Niles have against McGee?"

"I doubt he has anything against him, he's probably just helping his nephew stay out of trouble. Somehow our murder case got tangled up in this. Since the jacket belonged to Niles I would say he killed Carrol and probably Teal then tried to steal the evidence to cover up the fact that he was there. I don't know why he killed them and right now all I really care about is getting McGee away from those two."

Ziva's phone rang.

"David. No we are not still on lockdown they have already left the Navy Yard." she said into the phone.

"Cell phone" Abby whispered.

"What?" Tony asked

"Start praying Niles has a cell phone and that it's on."

She pulled up the employee records and soon had a search running. Her cry of elation brought Gibbs closer.

"They're heading toward the south part of town, Bossman."

"That's good work Abbs. Call us with a final location."

* * *

Tony was in the front seat of the car on the phone getting an update on the coordinates. Gibbs was driving and Tony found himself in the unusual position of wishing Gibbs would drive faster. They arrived at an abandoned looking house and Tony heart beat with anticipation. Busts usually didn't make him nervous, but this time his friend could be in there dead or dying. He jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and faced Gibbs.

"Tony I need you, _McGee_ needs you to be on the top of your game, got it."

Tony swallowed.

"Got it Boss"

"Ziva?"

"Gibbs?"

"We take them alive if possible, you understand?"

"Yes Gibbs, if possible."

Not looking entirely convinced he positioned Tony at the back as he and Ziva burst though the front door. They quickly cleared the first floor and cautiously made their way down to the basement. Gibbs shook his head as his eyes started to adjust. There were piles of stuff everywhere. Places to hide were abundant and it appeared to be a full basement so there would be several rooms to clear. He motioned for Tony and Ziva to be careful and take it slow. Just as they all reached the center of the large main room a voice came out of the darkness.

"You found me pretty quick Gibbs, I'm impressed. We'll talk more as soon as you wake up."

The agents looked around trying to determine the origin of the voice, but were soon distracted as a canister hit the floor and started spewing out a white substance.

"Get out now! It's gas!"

Gibbs attempted to find a door to reach fresh air, but was soon finding navigation difficult. He swayed and then collapsed to the floor.

* * *

Gibbs woke up slowly, the pounding in his head in rhythm with his heart beat. He shook it and then quickly realized that was a mistake as the pounding became a sharp pain. He attempted to reach up and touch his face but found he couldn't. He took stock and realized he was sitting in a straight back chair with his hand cuffed behind his back. The room was dim, he could make out shapes but it took several minutes for his eyes to adjust. Tony spoke to his left

"Boss, you ok?"

"Tony? How long have you been awake?"

Tony sighed.

"Long enough for Niles to make me call Abby and tell her we're fine, it was a false alarm and we're going to a different neighborhood."

"So no back up." Gibbs stated grimly.

To his right Ziva moaned as she slowly came to consciousness. She attempted to move her arms and, when she she couldn't, immediately tensed up.

"Ziva"

"Gibbs?" She frowned and opened her eyes. "What happened? Where are we?"

"The basement, he gassed us."

His eyes had finally adjusted enough to make out more objects in the room. Tony was to his left and Ziva was to his right, but someone else was straight across from him. Looking at the still figure Gibbs felt a deep pang of sadness. He wanted more than anything to find his agent, but not like this.

Tim McGee had obviously been through the works. He was also in a straight back chair but not only one were his hands restrained behind his back, his upper arms and ankles were held fast with zip ties that appeared to be cutting into this skin. There was a tub of some sort behind him, but Gibbs couldn't figure out what it was and was too busy looking over his agent to care.

McGee's t-shirt was torn open revealing several days worth of bruises across his entire chest. Aside from that, areas too dark to be bruises covered his torso and arms, even a few on his neck. Gibbs couldn't be sure in the dark but they looked like burns. His face was bruised and swollen, caked with dry blood. The left side of his face was the worst and most disfigured and his breathing was ragged and uneven. Part of his chest didn't seem to be rising with the other side. It was freezing outside and not much warmer in the basement but despite that there were bead of perspiration on his face. Gibbs swallowed the lump in his throat.

"McGee? McGee, Tim, wake up."

No movement

"McGee!"

He tried again and thought he saw a slight twitch. He had just decided that his hope had made him imagine it when he heard a groan. Not wanting to startle the man now that he was waking up, Gibbs tried to get his attention more gently.

"Tim can you hear me?"

"B'ss" A slurred voice answered but before Gibbs could respond what was said another voice began speaking.

"Agent Gibbs, I'm glad you're awake. I'm sorry it had to come to this, I would preferred for no one to be involved at all."

Gibbs set his jaw in anger.

"Well kidnapping one of my people and killing two Marines does generally get me involve. What happened, Jerry, legal get too boring for you? Decide to spice it up with murder and kidnapping?"

Niles just smiled as he pulled up a chair and sat in front of Gibbs.

"Funny Gibbs"

"You want to tell me what's going on?"

"The great Leroy Jethro Gibbs team hasn't figured it out?" He taunted clearly enjoying his advantage.

"Humor me"

Niles' face darkened for a moment.

"That idiot Carrol tried to blackmail me over and incident a few years ago. I'm afraid it came as quite a shock when he died. I thought Marines went down fighting but not him. Teal just found out too much, had to off him too. I'll cut right to the chase though. You have something of mine."

"What's that?"

"I think you know."

Gibbs did know but he was hoping he could stall for time to think of an idea.

"You have more of the evidence than we do Jerry. In fact you have all the evidence. Or are you going to deny you stole it last week."

Niles just smiled again.

"I must confess that I missed one very important piece. A jacket I had the misfortune to leave at the crime scene is what I need. It's the only thing that wasn't there when I went to retrieve the evidence. I want to know where it is."

"You're going to kill us anyway." Gibbs said. It was a statement not a question.

"Seriously?" Tony goaded. "You expect us to tell you where damning evidence is just so you destroy it and then kill us? Wow, are you stupid."

Niles smiled again and leaned forward. Gibbs began to feel uneasy.

"Do you care about your agents, Gibbs?"

"I do"

Niles nodded behind him at McGee.

"Would you like to know what he's suffered the past few days?"

Gibbs didn't answer; he didn't know what to say so Niles continued.

"My nephew hates him. He has this obsession with keeping him alive for five days. Five, that's how many hours his sister lived after she was taken off life support. I think it's a little…disturbing, but I agreed to help him because he's family and I did need your team eliminated."

"Is there a point to this?" Ziva asked tersely. She didn't like where this was going, but she wanted it to get there.

"There is Agent David, thank you for getting me back on track."

"I want the jacket and here's why you're going to tell me where it is. You can watch your friend endure for two more days or I can put a bullet in his head right now. Danny won't be happy with me, but I would be willing to do it for the jacket."

"Hell of an offer." Gibbs said sarcastically thought that wasn't how he felt. The idea of watching his already seriously injured agent tortured further made him sicker than he would like to admit.

"It is when you think about it." He turned to Tony. "You're right Agent DiNozzo I am going to kill you, the question is how much more is your partner going to have to suffer. Will he die quickly and in peace or simply because his body can't take anymore torture?"

Tony didn't look at him.

"Boss" the quiet voice that came so unexpected made them jump. McGee struggled for the words.

"Boss I-I'm ok, d-don't tell him where it is."

Ziva's heart broke at the seeming amount of effort it took him to even get those words out.

Niles laughed.

"I'll let you talk this over while I find out where Danny went."

* * *

As soon as Niles was out of ear shot. Gibbs started to whisper.

"Ziva, directly behind you is a work bench. I think I can see some finish nails on a lower shelf that you should be able to reach. You can try to pick the lock with that."

Ziva nodded and began inching backward as quietly as possible. She reached her hands to feel for the nails.

"Are you ok McGee?" Tony asked. It was a stupid question but it was all he could think to say and he needed to say something.

McGee nodded though no one believed him.

"Hang on McGee, we're gonna get out of here ok." Gibbs said trying to give him some hope; goodness knows he probably needed it at that point. "A little to the left, Ziva." He said guiding her. She finally got it in her hand and inched forward to avoid suspicion at being caught too close to the table.

McGee seemed to have slumped lower in his chair. Gibbs had hoped that their being there would help him a little but it didn't seem too.

"Tim, look at me."

McGee hesitated.

"I can't."

"Excuse me? Tim you haven't done anything-"

"I can't see" he interrupted.

Gibbs was sure he'd heard wrong. Prayed he had heard wrong. He glanced at Tony and saw his mouth hanging open. He cleared his throat.

"What do you mean you can't see? Do you mean you can't open your eyes?"

He hated to patronize the man like that, but that seemed like it could be a plausible explanation and he couldn't wrap his head around what else he might have meant.

"No Boss. One night… I tried to call you . Niles found me and… knocked me out. I haven't been able to see since. Probably concussion…swelling…"

He was struggling for breath as he trailed off. Tony was internally cursing. McGee blind! He tried to think of something comforting to say, but every word died on his lips. He finally settled on the reason they came.

"Don't worry Probie, the Calvary is here. We're going to get you out of here."

It would have been comical since all three were still handcuffed to their chairs, but there was nothing even remotely humorous about the current situation

McGee tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace.

"You don't have to promise that Tony, I'm fine."

Ziva suddenly muttered something in Hebrew and started inching backwards.

"Problem Ziva?"

"I dropped the nail. I am getting another." she muttered.

"Come on!" Tony exclaimed.

Ziva started to retort back but before she did she recognized the fear in Tony's eyes. Fear not for himself but for his friend. She swallowed the harsh words and continued backwards.

"I am sorry McGee."

"S'ok"

Ziva reached the table and Gibbs guided her to another and the process started over again.

"Did you say you're fine?" Tony asked wanting to find out what exactly McGee had meant. The calm in his voice had worried Tony but he decided to see what McGee had to say.

"I'm going to die, this had be-been- been a long… time coming. You don't have to waste the effort to save me. You-you shouldn't even be here."

Now Gibbs was angry.

"McGee if this is about what happened when you were a kid it wasn't your fault and when you get out of here I'm gonna headslap you for even thinking that."

"It was my fault, you don't-"

"I don't what McGee? You were a kid there's nothing you could have done to have prevented it, so unless you pushed them into the water, which I know you didn't, no person in their right mind blames you."

McGee was silent, he didn't accept what Gibbs said but he knew it would be useless to argue. He always had this same conversation with his father. Tim felt guilty; his father insisted he had no reason too. That was where the conversation always ended. Logically he knew they were probably right, but he just couldn't accept it. He tried to straighten and sigh but it came out as a groan

"I wish…" He trailed off and went quiet.

Gibbs closed his eyes trying to figure out the best way to make his agent keep fighting.

"I know, McGee, I know. Just hang on a little longer."

"For what, if I'm blind what does it matter?"

Gibbs was a little surprised at the bitterness in his voice, thought he could hardly blame him. He was actually a little glad to hear some emotion. Until now McGee had been very...calm. Gibbs expected him to be more upset, but he seemed to have accepted his fate. He opened his mouth to say something else when Danny walked into the room. He barely glanced at Gibbs but directed a glare of hate at McGee and kicked him as he passed. Tim groaned then gritted his teeth against the pain.

"Hey man, you left us; we weren't even done talking to you. What's the matter, find cooler people to hang out with?" Tony started talking to Danny hoping to direct his attention away from McGee.

Danny didn't respond, he seemed to be on a mission. He walked to a small sink in the corner and turned the water on. The transformation for McGee was almost instant. Shock and terror filled his face. He began to mumble and tremble violently.

"No no please no."

Ziva had been busy picking the lock and she felt close but she paused for a moment before redoubling her efforts. McGee was struggling against the bond and she wondered what was so much more terrible than what he's already endured to cause that reaction.

Gibbs, on the other hand was pretty sure he knew, the tub was starting to make sense, and Tim's next begging words ripped though is heart and confirmed it.

"Please don't drown me, please don't no, no..." Tim continued pleading and struggling in vain to get away as Danny walked over with a jug of water and a wet towel. He tipped the chair back that was holding McGee until it rested slightly against the tub.

As soon as the chair started backward Tim slipped into hysterics crying and speaking in sentence so garbled no one could understand. They didn't need to try for long. Danny threw the towel over his face muffling his cries as he began to pour the water.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I hope the long weekend will give me time to write, but if it's pretty outside I'm not making any promises. :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Short chapter, but I thought it was unfair to leave you guys with a cliffhanger for too long. **

**I really appreciate everyone reading. :)**

* * *

Tony and Gibbs yelled in protest, knowing even as they did it wouldn't do any good. Danny was almost in a trance and took no notice of anyone else beside McGee. He was mumbling something into McGee's ear as he poured, but Gibbs couldn't quite make it out. McGee was still shaking, trying desperately to break free.

Niles had stepped in the room to watch the events. He knew, watching this that it wouldn't take long for the team to give him what he wanted. He had never seen Gibbs look so helpless or horrified before.

Tony tore his eyes from Tim to look at Ziva and gauge her progress. Only the smallest movement of her arms told what was happening, but her eyes were as close to frantic as he was sure he would ever see them.

When Ziva saw Tim break down it wrenched her heart but she knew she must stay calm, there would be no time to drop the nail now.

Gibbs' emotion were perfectly split at what he watch unfold before him. The first was a blinding rage, he had never watched one of his agents so ruthlessly treated right in front of him and it was made all the worse knowing the physical and emotional pain Tim had been in prior to this and the fact that he could do nothing to stop it. The second emotion was dismay. If, _if_ they could find a way to get Tim out of this he was going to carry these scars for a long time. Drowning, being waterboarded, so systematically and so many times had destroyed many men. And Gibbs had no doubt that this wasn't the first time for the young man. The reaction from Tim told him that this had happened before and probably many times over the past several days.

A blur to Gibbs' right drew his attention away from his agent for a moment and the faintest stirrings of relief and hope sparked in him.

* * *

McGee could feel the water, everywhere. It was all around him swirling. He couldn't breathe; he was immobilized so he couldn't move. He trashed his head hoping to reach the surface but it might have well have been a thousand miles away. The water rushed into his mouth and nose, he tried to claw his way to the surface but couldn't.

He looked around for his friends like he had done so many times. He could see Scarlett, but Brian and Scott were gone. He watched her float farther and farther away. Her big brown eyes pleading at him, she was reaching out her arms to him but he couldn't get to her. It was always the same, he always let her down. She was screaming. Screaming for help. He heard the sound, but this time it seemed different. Someone else was screaming. _Maybe it's me_.

Something triggered in the back of his mind. He remembered something.

_Gibbs_.

Gibbs was here, he would pull him out, he would help him find Scarlett and Brian and Scott.

_Gibbs won't save you. He had a daughter, he probably blames you for letting the girl die too. He blames you. _

_He said he didn't. _

_That's what people feel obligated to say. Gibbs would have been able to save her, but you couldn't. _

_I know...I deserve this._

With those thoughts, his mind clouding from lack of oxygen and water rushing into his lungs he closed his eyes to die…again. He had died, drowned, many times in the past few days and each time it had been worse and more terrifying than before. Somehow this time it was different. He felt, he knew, this would be the last time.

Danny looked up in surprise at the person moving toward him; he only had time at an attempted swing of the bucket at her head before he was out cold on the ground. Ziva was still cuffed on her left wrist but that didn't stop her from wresting Niles to the ground, freeing herself and cuffing him to the table. She wanted nothing more than beat him to a bloody pulp, but hearing Tim coughing up water and gasp for breath quickly snapped her back to what she needed to do.

She had Gibbs released within seconds.

"Ziva call an ambulance!"

She was already dialing as she began to free Tony.

Gibbs pulled a knife from his ankle to free Tim, speaking in soothing tones. Tim had not calmed down and showed no relief at being out from under the water. Gibbs wasn't sure he had even noticed. He was coughing and sputtering and shivering with cold and fear.

He finally got all the restraints cut and Tim lowered to the ground just as Tony and Ziva knelt beside him and attempted to assess the damage. They didn't think it was possible but Tim looked even more battered when they were able to closely examine him.

Worse still Tim was slipping into hysterics and nothing anyone said would calm him. He was sobbing and gasping for breath in between coughing fits. Gibbs didn't know what kind of internal damage he was suffering, but he knew it was probably best to lay him on the floor until the ambulance arrived. On the other hand paternal instincts were coming close to taking over. He knew emotionally and mentally Tim had probably been more mistreated than physically. The breakdown he was having was proof of that. Tim still had not acknowledged their presence and was crying and mumbling oblivious to anything around him. As much as he worried about hurting him further Gibbs sensed Tim needed to know someone was there who didn't wish him harm, who cared about him. He crossed his fingers that what he was about to do would not cause Tim any more pain or damage.

As gently as he could, doing his best to avoid his major injuries, he gathered Tim into his arms and cradled him against his chest like he were a child. He held him close and began quietly whispering to him.

"Shh Tim. Tim, listen to me."

McGee quieted but was still mumbling incoherently into Gibbs' shoulder.

"You do not have permission to die. You're not drowning anymore. You're gonna be ok, you're safe, no one's going to hurt you. It's going to be ok."

McGee had stopped talking and was trembling as Gibbs continued trying to soothe him.

Tony wished there was something, anything he could do to comfort his friend. McGee was responding to Gibbs and that seemed to be as far as they were going to get for now. He turned his attention to Niles and Larson and assumed the role of Senior Field Agent.

"Ok, the quicker we get these birds to NCIS the quicker we can get to the hospital." He said looking down loathingly at the two men who had tried to destroy his partner. He didn't notice how quiet or pale Ziva was; he _did_ notice that she didn't respond to him or move.

"Ziva" He said looking at her.

This time Gibbs looked up, he had not let go of McGee but he studied Ziva for a moment.

"Ziva?" He said gently.

She nodded and Gibbs continued.

"Take those two", he said barely keeping the snarl out of his voice and he only did that because he didn't want to agitate Tim. "Call his father on the way and give him an update, let Ducky and Abby know too. We're going to Bethesda."

Suddenly the welcome sound of sirens filled the air.

Tim was not longer speaking and Gibbs wasn't sure he was conscious but his breathing sounded more ragged and labored than before.

_At least he's breathing_. Gibbs thought. _Thank God for small mercies._

"Tony help me lay him down."

He began to lower Tim to the floor. As soon as he did though Tim started to whimper and struggle frantically. Gibbs put one hand on his forehead and grasped his hand with the other attempting to still the young man.

"Tim I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. We're going to put you in the ambulance soon ok, everything is going to be fine. I'll be right there with you, I promise. You're safe."

By the time Tony and Ziva wrestled Niles and Larson into the car to go back to NCIS, the ambulance had arrived and readied McGee for transport.

Gibbs climbed into the ambulance and looked back at his two agents. It had been a long time since he had see two more forlorn faces. Tony cleared his throat and stepped forward.

"Keep him safe Boss."

Gibbs nodded as the ambulance door shut.

* * *

**I switch up a lot between McGee and Tim, don't know if that bothers anyone. Sometimes he just seems more like a Tim and other a McGee.**

**On a side note, it gives me so much joy to read (and now write!) McGee fanfictions mostly because on the show, especially in regard to the end of season he seems to be ignored. And we are near the end of the season. I wish he could have a lasting story arch. **

**Thanks for reading my rant. I appreciate you guys.**

**Happy Easter everyone!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Ok so I looked up some of the medical stuff and I think it is correct. However if you are a doctor (or someone else equally intelligent and/or knowledgeable) and my mistakes pain you in any way I humbly apologize. ;)**

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

Tony and Ziva dropped off their two "packages" and headed as quickly as possible to the hospital. Tony was surprised Ziva let him drive. He actually would have preferred for her to drive, but she seemed distracted, had been acting strangely since they had freed Tim.

Tony finally turned to her.

"You ok?"

She nodded. He tried again.

"McGee's gonna be ok, Gibbs didn't give him permission to die."

She nodded again. He let a little more time pass.

"Ok seriously Ziva, you're freaking me out."

"Tony can we please drop it."

"Drop what? I don't even know what the heck is going on. We got Tim, we got the bad guy. I mean yeah he was pretty bad off, but he'll be ok. He's tough, McTough; he'll pull through and be back before long. Probie bounces back; McReliable doesn't let his team down."

At this point, Ziva realized Tony was not talking to her anymore; he was talking to himself, trying to reassure his own faltering confidence. And if Tony was perfectly honest with himself, he knew he was upset about more than Ziva's silence. When they had first found Tim, he had expected the younger man to be relieved. He was not prepared for the resignation, the acceptance of his fate, then…

Seeing Tim struggle frantically to escape from a outcome he knew well, watching him lose that battle, free at last but refusing to be comforted had shaken Tony to his very core. That wasn't even taking into account he was still deeply upset his younger partner had felt the need to protect him in the first place. He had wanted to find Tim, bring him back and things be alright immediately but the more he saw, the more he knew Tim would need a lot of healing and help, physically and emotionally.

"I dropped the pick." Ziva said suddenly.

Suddenly it hit Tony, that's when it all hit the fan as far as Ziva was concerned.

"Ziva it wasn't your fault."

"You saw-saw how he fell apart and struggled. " Her voice cracked for a moment. "If I could have only prevented that. I was in a hurry, I should have been more careful."

She looked away. As much as she tried to hide it Tony saw tears in her eyes.

"Ziva" he said carefully, "I-"

"I could have stopped it if I had been more in control. Tim is my friend and I do not want to lose that friendship."

"Tim won't blame you."

"Tony what happed to him was not pleasant; it would not surprise me if he did not trust me again. I have lost the trust of my teammate." she said sadly.

"Then you don't McGee very well Ziva."

He didn't know what else to say so they spent the rest of the trip in silence.

* * *

They arrived at the hospital to find Gibbs sitting in the waiting room talking to Sean McGee and a petite woman. Ducky and Palmer were sitting across from him and Abby was pacing.

Ziva fell back as Tony stepped ahead.

"Any news?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Not much, he's in surgery now."

"Hello again, sir" Tony said.

Sean nodded.

"Olivia this is Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David, this is my wife Olivia."

Olivia had obviously been crying, her eyes were red and puffy, still she was very pretty. A small woman with light brown eyes and a kind smile.

"Tony and Ziva, I've heard so much about you, I'm glad to finally meet you."

"Have you been in town long my dear?" Ducky asked.

"No, Sean came and got me this morning, we live in Virginia. He didn't think there was any reason for me to worry in D.C. 'Might as well worry at home as here in the city' he said." She laughed a little, the sadness returned to her face.

"We decided to wait and tell the girls, they're visiting Sean's sister in Oregon, we didn't want them to worry." Her lip started to tremble. "Sean called me Monday afternoon and told me Tim was missing and it might have something to do with the drowning, I thought this was over, I so wished it was over, for Tim. It was so…difficult."

"I'm sure it was.

"He was so distraught after it happened, then he was attacked and…" A tear slid down her cheek, "he couldn't sleep and didn't want to eat. He would hardly speak to anyone. It got better after Sarah was born. He was so good with her and such a help to me, then Emily came along and it was almost like we were back to normal. He's always been good with them."

She smiled sadly.

"Tim has told me so much about you all, I feel like I know you. I had wanted to come and meet everyone before this but I didn't want to invade his life. Sean had business in town this week and that's why he was up here. I am glad to meet you know though. Thank you for finding him, I don't know what we would have done-"

She chocked off and stood up.

"I'm going to get some air Sean."

"Are you ok, I can come with you?"

"No I'm fine."

After she had left Sean turned to Gibbs and got right to the point.

"You rode with him in the ambulance on the way in."

"Yes"

"How was he?"

Gibbs paused so Sean spoke again.

"I don't want the sugar coated version that's why I waited till Olivia took a walk. Olivia is wonderful and sweet and kind, but," he paused trying to think of a diplomatic way of saying what he wanted without disparaging his bride of 35 years, "um, Olivia doesn't handle crisis well."

One corner of Gibbs' mouth turned up. He sounded like Tim, beating around the point, trying to think of the nicest way to say the truth. He quickly became serious again.

"Tim stopped breathing on his own halfway over. His heart was still beating but it was weak. "

"How did he look?"

"Not good, it…looked like it had been a rough few days. There's one more thing you should know, but I really think your wife should hear this too."

Sean nodded.

Olivia soon returned. She knew it would be too early for news of Tim still she couldn't bear to be away and miss something. Sean took her hand.

"Sweetheart Agent Gibbs said we needed to know something, about Tim."

She turned to him

"Yes" she whispered almost not wanting to hear.

"We were talking to him, before the ambulance arrived and he told us he couldn't see." He said as gently as he could.

"What do you mean?"

"He told us that one of his kidnappers hit him in the head and after that he was couldn't see."

Sean's pupils dilated in rage, fist clenched.

"Ducky what does that mean?" Abby asked.

"Well sometimes a head injury or head trauma can cause swelling that presses against the optic nerve and can cause temporary blindness. Interestingly enough the term "optic nerve" is not technically correct, it lies within the central nervous system and-"

"Ducky!"

"Oh my, I'm so sorry"

"So once the swelling goes down he should be able to see?" Tony asked hopefully.

Ducky hesitated.

"That would be the best case scenario, worst case it could be a subdural hematoma. Could he see any shapes or grayscale or was it pitch black?"

"He wasn't in a talking mood Ducky." Gibbs said rubbing his head.

"I see. Subdural hematomas can be fairly mild or rather severe; they affect the frontal and parietal lobes where the optic nerve is located. If it's mild they will be able to drill into his skull to reduce pressure."

Noticing the looks of alarm he hastily continued.

"Head injuries are serious, but his chances are good if it is not acute."

"What if it is acute?" Abby asked.

"If it were he would not have lasted this long. The main thing is to decrease the pressure as quickly as possible before any permanent damage is done."

Tony slumped back in his seat and glanced around, no one looked happy with the prognosis, but there was nothing to do but wait.

* * *

Hours ticked by waiting for some news. Much of the time was spent in silence, only broken by the occasional small talk. Gibbs made several coffee runs, Sean paced, then sat then paced some more, both Olivia and Abby randomly broke out crying, Tony, Ducky, and Palmer talked, and through it all Ziva sat and didn't say a word.

Finally a man in a white coat walked up to the group.

"Family of Timothy McGee?"

Abby jumped up but Gibbs caught her to give Tim's parents some privacy.

Sean McGee looked over.

"Your team is welcome to hear this agent Gibbs. I know Tim wouldn't mind and Liv and I certainly don't."

The team edged foward.

"I'm Doctor Thomas. Tim is still in critical condition. We just got out of surgery to try and stop the internal bleeding and stabilize him. Our two biggest worries are his head injury which Agent Gibbs mentioned was causing blindness and his breathing."

"His right lung has partially collapsed and has a small puncture from a rib fragment. Several of his ribs are broken but luckily that was the only puncture. It's small so we were able to minimize the damage. Unfortunately he is suffering from a mild case of pneumonia which in his condition is very bad. We found…water in his lung which has complicated the work. We managed to get most of it out and have reinflated the lung. He isn't breathing on his own so we have him on a ventilator for the present."

"During the surgery the head injury was our major concern, we drilled a small hole in his skull to reduce the pressure, but we'll have to wait until he wakes up to assess the full extent of the damage. We're giving him steroids to reduce the swelling. Unless the optic nerve was damaged he should regain sight."

"Should? What are the chances?" Sean asked.

Doctor Thomas paused.

"There was more time between when he sustained the concussion and when it was treated than we like, but the pressure is down so we are cautiously optimistic. The other injuries… there were um, twenty seven burns on his torso, chest and arms-

Oliva gasped.

"Some of the burns are slightly infected. His jaw is broken in two places and will have to be wired shut."

"Wait" Tony said "you couldn't do that while you were in there?"

"We didn't want him on the operating table for too long. When he's more stable we'll go in again. He lost a great deal of blood. After we get two more pints in him he should be more stable for surgery. We removed a bullet from his left knee. Right wrist is fractured and we are keeping an eye on his concussion."

"We've induced a coma, his injuries need to heal without aggravation from pain or other outside sources. This will help the head injury heal and stabilize his breathing. We'll wake him before too long though so he can sit up to keep the pneumonia from getting worse. His fever is very high but we suspect it's from the infections we found and the pneumonia."

He stopped and looked around at the distraught faces with a sympathetic smile.

"I'll be happy to answer any questions."

"Can I see him?" Olivia asked immediatly.

"Yes ma'am, he can have two visitors at a time for a very few minutes."

Sean and Olivia followed a nurse back to his room.

A few minutes later they came back and Tim's mother collapsed in the chair crying. Sean pulled her into his lap and began to whisper to her.

Abby and Gibbs went next. Abby gasped when she saw Tim. Tony and Gibbs had both gently warned her of what she would see but that didn't make it easier to see her friend lying there assisted in breathing with the help of a machine. Tim was shirtless covered with a thin blanket and dozens of bandages on his arms and chest covering the cruel burns. Multiple IVs were in his arms and wrists, some supplying blood, others clear liquid. His face was bruised and his eyes nearly swollen shut. He looked so small and helpless lying there and it was all Abby could do not to reach out and hug him. She looked at Gibbs and he nodded permission.

She gently reached out and stroked his check softly. She didn't want to cause him any more pain but wanted so desperately for him to know she was there. Their time was up sooner than she wanted it to be.

"Abby, let's go." Gibbs said gently pulling her away before turning back to the sleeping agent.

"Hey" he whispered leaning in close. "Don't even think about it McGee. You still do not have permission to die and I'm currently extending that to include not having permission to be sick either. We need you back and I still owe you a headslap. I expect you to make a full recovery."

He straighten knowing he had been heard and followed Abby out.

* * *

The rest of the team each took their turn. Ziva was reluctant to go, but when Tony insisted he wouldn't without her she finally conceded. She stood almost in the doorway studying her feet while Tony sat next to Tim encouraging him and telling him jokes. Their time was soon up and Ziva still had not looked at Tim. Tony walked past her and squeezed her hand. She nodded and cautiously walked to Tim, stood silent for a moment then softly whisper to him in Hebrew. Gently touching his arm she followed Tony out.

As Ducky and Palmer went to see McGee, Gibbs announced that he, Tony, and Ziva were headed back to wrap up the case and would be back the next morning. Tony hated to leave but really did want a chance at cracking Niles and Larson. They were soon gone. Ducky and Palmer came out and sat next to Abby.

"What can we do Ducky?" She asked sadly.

"We can only wait my dear, wait and pray."

* * *

**Again thank you for reading. Let me know what you think, good/bad/indifferent.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry I'm such a slow writer, I am truly amazed at those who have multiple stories going and are able to post every day or almost every day. I think I have a good excuse though. I have been in Alabama for the past few days, and WOW. It is very sad to see and hear about all the devastation. Keep them in your prayers.**

**And thank you for your sweetness (did I just make that word up?) and patience. :)**

* * *

Gibbs walked into interrogation with a box and set it on the table. He came to stand beside the man that had been brought in hours before. Gibbs began taking items out of the box and throwing them on the table. Evidence bags were first, items from the first crime scene, then email printouts, and finally a Colt revolver.

Jerry Niles stared as Gibbs continued to place items on the table, each piece of evidence a nail in his coffin.

"Agent searched you house and car, Jerry. You really should do better job of disposing of criminal evidence. Thought you would have learned that by working here. We have all the evidence you stole, we have emails from Carrol demanding blackmail money after he caught you taking bribes."

He picked up the revolver.

"This has been fired recently. One bullet for Carrol, one for Teal, and then this one."

He brought one more item out of the box, a glass jar holding a mangled, bloody piece of metal, and set it on the table.

"This was the bullet they dug out of Special Agent McGee's knee several hours ago. Didn't do too much long term damage but he's got a bad infection."

Jerry was a little wary of the calm in Gibbs voice. He had expected Gibbs to come in and throw him against a wall.

"Yup," Gibbs continued "We have all we need. Slam dunk for the prosecution."

"Then why am I here instead of in lockup?" Niles finally asked.

It happened so quickly Niles barely had time to think before Gibbs had grabbed him by the shirt and brought him inches from his face.

"Because my agent is in a coma, not even able to breathe on his own and I want to know why!"

Niles flinched at the rage in his voice. Gibbs threw him back in the chair and backed off a little trying to control himself. Vance was watching and he didn't want to give the director a chance to pull the plug before he was done, he hadn't brought Tony or Ziva in for that very reason. He leaned back in.

"You wanted us, my team, dead because we were too close on the case. I get that, it's what scum does. But instead of just trying to gun us down you allowed you mentally deranged nephew to beat a man almost to death. Not even over the case, over something that happened 25 years ago when he was a child. Why? You questioned him, you knew he didn't know where the evidence you were looking for was and yet you still let Danny break him down, use his guilt to make him suffer. I want to know why."

Niles glared.

"I have nothing to say to you Gibbs. You and your team mean nothing to me, why should I care what happens to them, any of them?"

Gibbs didn't have anything to say either because in truth he wanted to punch the man. He silently started to load the evidence back in the box.

"Your nephew is crazy and the defense is going to run with that, but you? You have no excuse. "

He put his hand on Niles' shoulder, finding and squeezing not so gently on a pressure point. Niles winced as Gibbs leaned in and whispered.

"And you won't last long in prison."

Gibbs stepped back into the hall. He was immediately flanked by Tony and Ziva.

"Ok Boss, you wouldn't let me talk to Jerry Niles, but you'll let me go in with you when you talk to Larson right?" Tony said hopefully.

"And me Gibbs" Ziva jumped in.

"Nobody is talking to Larson." Vance said suddenly coming up behind them making Tony jump.

Gibbs gave him a death glare.

"Excuse me Leon?"

"Rhonda from psych services came down to evaluate him and deemed him an immediate risk, so we've contacted the Northern Virginia Mental Health Institute. That's where he has had previous treatment and they've just arrived to pick him up."

"Director Vance-"

"That's not-"

Tony and Ziva both started to protest, but Gibbs held his hand up to silence them.

"I just want a few words with him Leon."

"One minute Gibbs."

Gibbs stepped into the second interrogation room and shut the door leaning against it. Vance was just outside talking with the attendant sent to get Larson. They wanted to begin their long trip back and Gibbs didn't have long, but he wanted to say a few things to Larson and wanted to see his face when he did. The man in front of him was a little unsettling. His eyes were completely blank and he was rocking back and forth knees to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. He wasn't saying anything but he was breathing heavily. Gibbs got in front of him and knelt down to catch his eye.

"Tim McGee tried to save your sister." He said letting those words sink in.

"Liar"

Danny's head shot up for the first time. Gibbs ignored the outburst and continued.

"He was trying to pull her out that's why he was pulled in. He wouldn't have been in the hospital at all except for trying to save her."

Danny started shaking his head violently.

"No, no, no, no-"

"You tried to destroy him for something he had no control over, but it didn't work. He is going to survive."

Vance opened the door.

"Gibbs-"

Gibb stood up.

"My agent is a fighter and he's going to fight his way out of this, in spite of you."

He left Larson yelling angrily and struggling against the two men who had come to pick him up.

* * *

Gibbs sent Tony and Ziva home knowing they would head to the hospital instead. Tony had resigned to spend every spare moment there until and especially after his friend woke up and thinking Ziva didn't need to be home wallowing in guilt he dragged her along as well.

Gibbs spent the rest of the night filling out paperwork and the next morning went home to shower and change clothes. Afterward he headed to the hospital and found Ducky, Ziva, Tony, Palmer, and Abby still sitting in the waiting room.

"Thought I told you two to go home" he said to Tony and Ziva.

"You did, but you knew we would come here anyway." Tony retorted.

Gibbs grunted and turned to Ducky.

"How's he doing? "

"Not very well Jethro. He isn't allowed many visitors and his parents are sitting with him now. The pneumonia has not responded as hoped to the antibiotics. If anything his breathing is worse, his lung collapsed again and had to be reinflated."

"Is the swelling going down any?"

"That is the bright spot in this whole day, the swelling has decreased and if his breathing stabilizes in the next 24 hours they will take him back into surgery."

Gibbs looked over his exhausted team.

"Ok this time I mean it, go home and get some sleep, everyone."

"Jethro I don't think-"

"Gibbs!"

"Boss I can't-"

"It wasn't a discussion; go home, get some sleep and then you can come back."

More argument seemed to be building up, but one Gibbs' glare and it was soon over. As everyone left he sat to continue his vigil.

* * *

Ducky caught Ziva outside before she left.

"Something is troubling you my dear. Something beyond what is on all our minds."

"It is nothing Ducky, thank you."

"If you don't mind my saying so you seem almost…guilty."

She started and he hastily continued.

"I don't mean you are guilty, but it looks as though you feel that way. You realize nothing you could have done would have prevented this."

Ziva smiled sadly and put her hand on Ducky's face.

"Ducky I did something that caused McGee great pain and I cannot think he will forgive me."

Ducky pulled her over to a bench and they sat down.

"Tell me." he said simply.

So she spilled out her story beginning with when they were knocked out and ending with the rescue. Half way through the story Ducky had put his arm around her and pulled her close. By the time she was done she was surprised and little ashamed to find tears running down her face. They continued to sit that way for a few moments before Ducky asked a question he hoped would not drive her away.

"Ziva," he said carefully, "I'm sure you have seen people mistreated before, probably much worse than this. Is there any particular reason this is so different?"

"It is true and I have never enjoyed the experience. Rarely however have I seen a friend... Colleagues, fellow Mossad officers, but not necessarily friends."

"McGee is so," she was moving her hands and seemed to be struggling for the right words, "so gentle. The men I have seen tortured were hardened and they were being broken for a reason, to gain information. This was so pointless. McGee was being beaten for something that happened when he was a child."

She shook her head.

"I cannot face him."

"Ziva, you surely know Timothy will not blame you" he chided gently.

"That is what Tony said." She said softly.

"This would be an excellent time to listen to Anthony, my dear."

She stared off in the distance.

"We will see."

* * *

Sean came out into the waiting room rubbing his eyes. He came over to Gibbs.

"Agent Gibbs it doesn't look like you've slept at all."

"I could say the same for you."

"You'd be right."

They sat in silence for a while then Sean spoke.

"Every time I came out here your team was here. We um, we appreciate that."

"We're a team, Tim is their friend."

"I know. He cares a lot about this group, speak very highly of all of you."

"He's a fine agent. I'm glad to know him."

Sean smiled

"We appreciate what you've done for him Agent Gibbs. I've never seen him as confident as when he joined your team. Every time we saw him he was more self-assured and happy. I thank you for that, bringing out the potential we knew was there."

"It was my pleasure."

He paused.

"They said he's worse today."

"Yeah he had a bad night. Lungs got worse. Watching your child struggle to breathe …"

He took a shaky breath.

"He's resting a little better now; at least the swelling is starting to go down. They hope they can do surgery tomorrow, depending on how well he's breathing. I was about to send Olivia to a hotel to rest for a while. "

"Why don't you go with her? I'll sit with him for a while." Sean started to shake his head so Gibbs continued.

"It won't help him for you to be exhausted."

Sean studied him not looking convinced and Gibbs was about to try again when he saw a small nod.

"You're right."

Sean was quiet again then got up

"We'll be back in a few hours."

"Take your time."

It took a little more convincing to get Tim's mom to leave his side but much like his son Sean was a man whose decisions were largely driven by logic and he carefully and patiently laid out every reason and point why they should take a much needed break until Olivia finally gave in though Gibbs suspected it was because she was simply too exhausted to argue further.

When they had gone Gibbs settled by his agent's bedside and silently studied the young man. He hadn't realized it was possible but McGee looked even worse than he had the day before. He was so still and pale. Gibbs leaned forward and grasped his hand.

"Maybe you didn't hear me yesterday but I didn't give you permission to die and I certainly didn't give you permission to get worse."

No movement. Not that he had expected it, though it would have been nice.

"It wasn't you fault Tim." He said softly.

He was sure McGee had heard that many times in his life and yet Gibbs had a hunch he would need it many more and he still might not believe it even after all that. He was stubborn, in a less traditional way than Gibbs, but stubborn none the less.

He brushed some hair back from his forehead and was saddened to find it still much too warm. Tim was young, too young to be like this with tubes in his throat and IVs in his arms. Gibbs leaned back and sighed. The rise and fall of McGee's chest would have been more comforting if he knew that McGee was breathing under his own power.

"I wish you had come to me Tim. About the accident, about Larson, about Wilson. There were so many chances for you to come to me. Why didn't you?"

He sighed.

"I'm sorry Tim, I should have seen it. You were clearly upset and I didn't even see it."

Gibbs pulled out resignation letter he had kept with him since the day they found it.

"You do help people Tim, a lot of people, and you're crazy if you think you can get off my team that easily." He said as he tore it up.

* * *

**So as I said this was late and I have just found out I have to go back to Alambama tomorrow, so the next chapter might be late as well.**

**Thank you all so much for reading, it means so much to me. Abby hugs for everyone!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Ok, I'm back! Safe and sound from Decatur, Alabama. Most of the city has been without power for a few days, but they have finally gotten it back in some areas. Lots of work still to do, but there are lots of hard and dedicated workers to get it done! I appreciate your thoughts being with me. :)**

**Thank you all for reading and the reviews! They make my heart smile. :)**

* * *

Gibbs was still sitting by the bedside hours later when a doctor came into examine his patient, so he quietly made his way out into the hall and pulled out his phone to make a call.

_Commander Southerland_

"Commander, it's Special Agent Gibbs. What did you find out for me?"

The long hiss of air told him he would not like it.

_Robert Wilson will lose two ranks and receive a formal reprimand up that will go in his record._

Gibbs was speechless, but only for a moment.

"That's it? For standing back and watching a kid get beat up. Are you serious? Marines have been dishonorably discharged for less."

_Gunny I'm sorry, it happened so long ago and there really isn't a specific charge we can use. It wasn't assault, it wasn't like he allowed adult to do it. He permitted a boy to be bullied by his peers. The best we can do is conduct unbecoming of a Marine._

"Conduct unbe- Ya think?" Gibbs said sarcastically then continued. "I don't think that's it, I think you can do more. What you mean is that's all you want to do."

_Don't do this. It was a long time ago and yes my sympathy goes out to the young man, but any statute of limitations has passed on any type of charge we could have come up with. _

There was a long pause

_I'm sorry, that's the best I could do._

Gibbs' only answer was to shut the phone. He rubbed his head. He knew he couldn't erase what happened so many years ago but he had hoped to get some justice, however long overdue for his young agent. Too tired to even decide if he wanted to fight this he went back into the hospital room.

Sean and Olivia soon returned looking more rested and insisted Gibbs go and do the same. It was late in the day and despite countless cups of coffee he was feeling the effect of days without sleep and the stress of having an agent missing. He began to leave just as his team once again started to appear.

* * *

They rest of Wednesday evening and Thursday morning was spent in a vigil over their injured friend, offering words of comfort and touches to reassure they were there. The hospital rule was only two visitors at a time, but each nurse that entered the room consistently found it exceeding its quota.

More than once Abby, Tony, Ziva, and Jimmy found themselves back in the lobby planning to find yet another way of sneaking back in when the nurses weren't looking. It was a little easier for Ducky to gain access to the room and he was a frequent visitor as well. Gibbs didn't even waste time trying to sneak past nurses; they had found quickly it was better if they did not try to keep him away.

Thursday afternoon the team had all assembled in Tim's room. After various attempt to enforce the two visitors limit the team finally worn down the whole floor and both shifts of nurses much to the amusement and relief of Sean and Olivia. Tim seemed to be responding to the attention. No one could quite put their finger on it but he did look a little better and there was a little more color to his cheeks.

Nearing evening Tim's doctor entered the very full room and stopped short in surprise.

"Well I see we have quite an audience. Is everyone going to hear the report?"

"Yes" Olivia said softly.

Abby had long since decided Olivia was quiet by nature and not because of the worry. She smiled when she thought about how her sometimes brash behavior had shocked Tim and now she could see why. He probably wasn't use to women who were forceful and strong willed as she was.

"Ok Tim's breathing has improved, not as much as we would like, but he's stabilized enough for more surgery. When we go in this time we will set his jaw and wrist and check the internal damage to make sure it's healing the way we hope. We don't want him to become too dependent on the ventilator so if the surgery goes well we will remove it afterwards."

He paused and looked around at the hopeful faces.

"Ok, if you will all please step out we will begin to prep him for surgery."

* * *

Several hours later Dr. Thomas stepped again into the waiting room. He was immediately rushed and involuntarily took a step backwards holding up his hands.

"Whoa. Tim came through the surgery well; the internal damage is healing nicely. We got his jaw and wrist set, no complications. And" he smiled, "we just removed the ventilator and he's begun to breathe on his own."

He smiled even wider at the relieved faces and smiles of the group in front of him.

"Will he be able to see?" Tony asked.

"We won't know until he wakes up, his retina is responding to stimuli but the only way to know for sure is when he wakes up."

"Can I see him?" Olivia immediately asked.

"Yes, but-"

He put his hand up.

"It has been brought to my attention that the two visitor rule has been blatantly disregarded many, many times." He said with a pointed glance at the main culprits.

For their part Tony, Ziva, Jimmy, and Abby did their best to look guilty.

"Doctor-" Sean started.

"However," Dr. Thomas interrupted "I don't have a problem with bending the rules a little as long as the spirit of the rule is kept. The rule is in place so our patients can recover in peace. Tim is still very ill and is going to have a long recovery. He will need all the rest and as little stress as possible. Just keep that in mind. You all know him better than I do and know how much he can tolerate. This will be especially important after the next 36 hours. I have started backing off the drugs keeping him in a coma so he should wake up within the next day and a half."

Abby started clapping until Tony and Ziva shushed her and Ducky gently reminded her to keep the noise down lest she be thrown out yet again.

* * *

Upon seeing Tim, Gibbs let out a sigh. He still didn't look good by any one's calculations, but it was such a relief to see him without the tube down his throat to breathe for him.

Once everyone had gotten to see McGee, Gibbs started heading his team out.

"Ok, time to fill out those reports, let's go."

"Gibbs, you can't be serious, not after we got permission to stay!" Abby protested.

"Boss, the case is over; we got the killer. Why can't we stay?" Tony asked.

"Because DiNozzo we need to work sometime this week and you can either do it now while he's still unconscious or tomorrow and the next day when he might be awake."

Tony turned to Abby and Ziva.

"You know girls I was just thinking what a great idea it would be to go back to NCIS and tackle some of that paperwork."

Abby rolled her eyes and Ziva smirked as Gibbs' hand connected with the back of Tony's head.

"Thank you Boss."

They left Sean and Olivia quietly chuckling.

* * *

Early the next morning Gibbs headed to the hospital and meet Tim's mother in the lobby.

"Good morning Agent Gibbs." she said smiling. He noticed she looked calmer than he had seen her in days.

"Morning. How is he today?"

She smiled wider.

"He had a good night, he looks much better," She grimiced. "except for those horrible bruises. We-"

"Livia!" Sean said urgently coming up behind them. "Come here, he's waking up."

"Oh!"

She rushed back to Tim's room with Gibbs close behind.

Tim was stirring slightly. His face was scrunched as he struggled to come to consciousness.

Sean was on one side and Olivia on the other. Gibbs felt he should keep a respectful distance though he stayed close enough to be able to see Tim's face.

"Come on son. We need you to wake up." Sean coaxed.

Tim shifted slightly and moaned.

"Take it easy Tim. It's ok, you're safe."

His right eye flickered open, the swelling on the left side too great to allow more than a slit.

"Dad…" He mumbled, voice was muffled by the wired jaw. Gibbs prayed he recognized his father's face and wasn't just talking to the voice of someone he couldn't see.

"Tim, son, how do you feel?"

"Tired…sleep"

"I know you're tired son but I need you to do one thing for me."

He held up his hand

"How many fingers do you see Tim?"

Tim was silent but squinted a little, Gibbs held his breath. Sean tried again.

"Tim, I know you're tired and you can go back to sleep very soon, how many fingers do you see?"

The answer was so soft Gibbs couldn't hear what Tim said but the relieved grin that broke out over his father's face told him all he needed to know.

"That's good Tim, that's very good."

Gibbs took a step forward and heard Tim's next words.

"Dad…so…tired…please"

"I know son go back to sleep, everything's ok."

Too weak to even nod McGee just let his eyes slide closed.

* * *

**Not really a cliff hanger, but seemed like a good place to end. Hope everyone is having a good week!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Yeah for McGee being awake! Did everyone enjoy the episode last night?**

**No, don't tell me! Right at this moment that I am posting I am watching last night episode on CBS.**

**Thanks for reading and all the reviews and story alerts. Have a great Wednesday!**

* * *

Sean turned around still smiling. Gibbs shook his hand.

Congratulations

"I-I didn't know what he would have done if he couldn't see Agent Gibbs. I'm sure he would have figured it out, people do, but…" He trailed off shaking his head.

"Don't have to worry about it now." Gibbs said

Yeah

"Sean I'm going to call Sarah and Emily now that I finally have good news to give them." Olivia said coming up and kissing him.

"Ok sweetheart."

Before she left and much to Gibbs' surprise she threw her arms around him and give him a quick hug before she left. Sean grinned at his shock.

"Um I should probably call my crew too. Abby will kill me if I don't let her know."

Sean laughed.

"That doesn't surprise me."

Walking outside Gibbs frowned at the dark clouds gathering.

"Hey Abbs."

"Gibbs! How's Timmy?"

"He woke up a few minutes ago and-"

He pulled the phone away from his ear to keep it from being shattered by the scream that followed.

"Hold on Tony is with me, I'm going to put you on speaker."

"Hey Boss, good news?"

"Yeah, McGee woke up a few minutes ago and was able to see his father."

"Alright! Can we come over?"

"Yeah, be careful, storms coming up."

Abby and Tony were at the hospital in record time leading the investigator to believe they had disregarded his admonishments to be careful. He shook his head and decided the look on Abby's face was enough to let it slide.

Abby quickly made her way to Tim's side. She was disappointed that he didn't wake for her, but she gently set about smoothing his pillow and sheet before settling in a chair right beside him.

Gibbs smiled.

"I'll be back."

Once outside he pulled out his phone and called the director. He had already told him the good news but had forgotten to discuss the other matter on his mind. He knew Vance would not like it.

_They said what?_

"They said the only thing they could do was knock him back two ranks and give him a formal reprimand."

_We'll see about that. Marines can't expect to do that sort of thing and get away with it. I mean he was nine years old for god's sakes._

"I know Leon."

_I'll see what I can find out Gibbs._

"Appreciate it Leon."

* * *

Tim didn't wake the rest of the day, he looked much better and the doctor came in and announced he was very pleased with his progress. It was getting late and Gibbs decided to go for one last coffee run before he took Abby home. She wasn't going to like it, especially since she hadn't gotten to talk to Tim but he would promise to bring her back tomorrow when he came.

Gibbs was just walking into the hospital as it started to rain, the storm that had been brewing all day finally arriving. His phone rang and he glanced at the caller ID, _Ducky_

"Hey Duck"

"Jethro is it raining there?" Ducky asked quickly, for once getting right to the point.

"Yeah why-?"

"Ziva tells me Timothy was, drowned, water boarded while he was being held?"

"Yeah, bu-"

"Jethro, if he is conscious or even close to consciousness, he might not handle this rain well. It could very well remind him of that dreadful experience, many survivors experience it. There have been cases where survivors of this type of torture would become hysterical at-"

"I'll call you when I get to his room Ducky." Gibbs said picking up the pace as he shut the phone.

The rain seemed to be picking up the pace as well and it was coming off the roof of the hospital accompanied by a great deal of noise. Gibbs winced and for the first time in days prayed that he would find McGee blissfully unconscious.

No such luck. He arrived at Tim's door just in time to find Tony and Abby being herded out.

"What's going on?" he demanded hoping the answer wasn't what he thought it was.

Abby's eyes were filling with tears.

"Gibbs he just went crazy, when it started raining really hard."

"Boss-"

Tony stopped and shook his head.

They moved to the window watching Tim struggle frantically, the heart monitor rapidly beating. He was beginning to hyperventilate, the oxygen mask over his face not seeming to have any effect on his panicked breathing, terror filling his eyes. His mother was leaned in close to his head whispering into his ear, but even she didn't seem to be having any effect on him. Sean was also standing by his side looking helpless to do anything, but hold down his struggling son to stop him from tearing out his IVs. A nurse quickly stepped in blocking Gibbs view and injected a sedative into his arm. He began to relax under the arms holding him down until his eyes slid closed and his breathing and heart rate relaxed.

The nurse quickly bustled out and for a few moments everyone stood there in shock.

Olivia was still talking softly to her son hoping he would hear her and allow her to comfort him. She began to cry and Sean pulled her into his arms. Outside the window Abby buried her head in Gibbs' shoulder.

Tony dejectedly walked toward the lobby needing to get away from what was happening. An hour later, after calming Abby down and talking to Tim's parent, Gibbs found him outside soaking wet sitting on a bench rubbing his foot. He glanced back discreetly at three metal trash cans with large dents and decided to forgo the lecture about damaging public property. He joined Tony on the bench and they sat in silence for a while.

"I can't believe they did this to him." Tony said suddenly

Gibbs didn't say anything, figuring Tony needed to get it out.

"I mean Boss you should have seen him. The rain started and he was fine."

"Was he awake?" Gibbs interrupted.

"What? No, he was asleep, but then the rain started coming really hard and he started moaning and mumbling and we all thought he was having a bad dream so his mom was going to wake him up and he started-" Tony shook his head.

"He started shaking and mumbling, just like-just like when we were in the basement. I mean exactly like that. We tried to calm him down and it's like he wasn't even hearing us."

Tony shook his head again.

"It was awful."

"I know."

They lapsed into silence again.

"Boss?"

"Yeah?"

"What-what can I do for him?"

Gibbs was quiet for a few moments; he was touched by the question and had actually been pondering it himself.

"I'm not sure, we may just need to wait and see what he needs. Ducky might know, just have to wait and see."

He gripped Tony's shoulder supportively.

"You coming in?"

"No, I think I'll just sit here a little longer."

Gibbs started inside when he heard his name.

"Jethro!"

Gibbs looked guiltily at the owner of the voice.

"Ducky I know I said I would call you-"

He held up his hand

"I take it Timothy was conscious for the rain."

"No, but apparently he got there pretty quick."

Ducky shook his head sadly.

"It's a shame the lad couldn't even wake in peace."

"Tony wants to know what we can do for him."

"Be patient with him. For many this will seem like an irrational fear, but in his mind it is very real. If possible we much gently help him to no longer be afraid, when the time comes and he is ready to face it."

* * *

Another half hour passed and Tony was still sitting outside when he felt someone sit beside him. He glanced over and was shocked to see Tim's father.

"Has Tim woke up again?"

"No, they gave him something to keep him asleep for a while. Olivia and Dr. Mallard are sitting with him. Agent Gibbs took Abby home."

"I'm sorry"

"Not your fault. I wish you didn't, wish none of you had to see that."

"Is his mom ok?"

"Yeah, she's been a Navy wife too long, she can be ok when she needs to be." He turned so he was facing Tony.

"Tim's tougher than he lets on too. He's also fortunate in the fact that he has friends who he can count on, who care about him. He'll make it through this. It may take a while, but he's going to be ok."

"You seem…really sure."

Sean smiled.

"Tim has been able to do most things he puts his mind too. Except get over that damn seasickness."

Tony snorted out a laugh.

"I know my son; I also know he depends a lot on this team. I've seen how you all act like a family. That's what will pull him through."

Sean stood up and roughly tapped Tony on the shoulder.

"Now get out of the rain and change out of those wet clothes before you end up in the hospital and you and Tim have to share a room."

Tony smiled to himself.

"Yes sir"

* * *

Gibbs was sitting by McGee's bedside the next morning. Abby and Ziva were on their way. Everyone else had gone to get breakfast or stretch their legs. Tim had slept peacefully through the night and the doctor had decided that morning to he didn't need the oxygen mask anymore.

Gibbs had been thankful to hear there wouldn't be any more rain that week. He only hoped nothing else would set the young man off. There was a sink in his room which worried Gibbs but he figured they could talk to the nurses and doctors and hopefully persuade them not to use it while Tim was awake.

Lost in these thought Gibbs failed to see the green eyes looking at him groggily through slits. He leaned forward smiling as he gently rested his hand on McGee's arm

"Hey McGee, how you feeling?"

"Tired…sore" He said softly speaking through his wired jaw. "Where?"

"You're at Bethesda. You were pretty bad for a few days but you're going to be ok."

"Thirsty"

"There's a cup of ice here for that very reason."

McGee tried to move and sit up, but the sharp pain caused him to gasp for breath as his heart rate increased.

"Hey, take it easy. Don't try to move too much, you have broken ribs. The doctor gave you this to push if the pain gets too bad."

Gibbs pushed the button to send pain killer into his system and was pleased to see McGee's face and body relax slightly. He helped him swallow a few pieces before replacing the mask.

"Thanks Boss."

Gibbs nodded.

"What happened Boss?"

"What do you remember?"

"Little fuzzy. I remember-" He stopped and looked down.

"Danny Larson."

McGee flinched a little sending another wave of pain through his body

"Stop moving McGee before I have to tie you down. Larson's going to a mental facility where he belongs. Just rest and we can talk about what you remember later."

He nodded and seemed to be on the verge of tears. He looked away trying to hide it from Gibbs. Gibbs had noticed but didn't say anything and seeing how upset he was decided to drop the issue until later.

"Gibbs"

"Yeah"

"I-I'm not your problem…anymore"

Gibbs leaned forward

"Why is that McGee?"

"I'm resigning. I can't do this job anymore. I-I wrote a letter it's at my apartment. Abby has a key she could get in and get it."

Gibbs took out the two halves of the letter from his pocket.

"You mean this resignation letter?"

McGee's eyes widened as much as they could considering the swelling.

"How…?"

"You went missing and we searched your apartment. What part of 'you belong to me' didn't you understand?"

"Boss I screwed up."

"Yeah writing this letter was definitely a screw up."

"The case-"

"Jerry Niles stole the evidence on the first case, not your fault, the second case may have been but we all, every agent makes mistakes. Congratulations on being part of that group."

McGee lay back and closed his eyes. There were too many emotions for his exhausted mind to process. He loved his job and would do anything to be back, but mistakes, his mistakes, were not something he tolerated well. He still had this nagging feeling of guilt that had been plaguing him for the past two weeks it seemed. His head begin to swim. Gibbs noticed his change in breathing and heart rate and internally kicked himself for agitating McGee before he was strong enough to face all that had happened.

"Tim" he said using his first name to get his attention. "Listen to me. You are a good agent. We all make mistakes and believe me in the whole scheme of things you mistake was very, very small. I am not going to let you throw your career away over one screw up. You are too good at this."

McGee wouldn't look at him.

"Look at me. I need you to rest and get better. We can talk about this in a few days."

McGee nodded.

The squeal at the door however told Gibbs that McGee would not be resting right at this moment.

"Timmy!"

Abby rushed in and Gibbs was afraid for a moment that she would jump on the bed. She stopped short though and bent down to give him her gentlest hug.

"I missed you!"

"Missed you too Abbs"

He mustered up his best smile for her and Gibbs hoped she wouldn't notice how very sad it looked.

Ziva was not far behind Abby

McGee glanced up at her and she gave him a small smile in return.

"Hello McGee, I am glad you are awake."

She also received a smile however his eyelids were starting to flutter. He seemed to be trying to stay awake and remembering what the doctor had said Gibbs decided to step in.

"You need to sleep Tim. We'll be here when you wake up."

"K, Boss" he said his eyes already closed.

"Gibbs is he ok?" Abby asked worriedly. "He didn't look so good."

Gibbs answered her not taking his eyes off Tim.

"I'm not sure Abby."

* * *

**Thanks so much for reading. Please review!**


	24. Chapter 24

**We are close to the end, a few more chapters but not many. (Unless I think of more that is, I have been doing that a lot.)**

**Thanks so much for the reviews and support. :) ****You guys are wonderful! Lots of talking (formerly known as dialog) in this chapter, but I hope it is realistic and covers some of what need to be covered.**

* * *

Throughout the day McGee woke several times much to the delight of his visitors. He smiled and tried to act like nothing was wrong, but there was a sadness in his eyes that no one missed. In the end it became a game of pretend. Tim pretending that everything was fine and everyone else pretending not to notice that it wasn't.

Toward the end of the day Sean made up his mind. Tim had fallen asleep so his teammates had scattered their separate ways though still keeping close.

"Olivia I need to talk to him."

"I agree Sean." She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. "I'll be back soon."

Sean walked into the hospital room and quietly closed the door behind him. He sat down and leaned back. It wasn't long before Tim stirred. He took in the lack of visitors, his dad, and the closed door. Tim didn't look at him, knowing the conversation that was coming.

"You want to tell me what's on your mind son?"

"Same thing that's always on my mind Dad."

Sean was quiet. Then he started to speak.

"Tim I know you've struggled with this a long time, and I know-"

His voice started to break.

Tim looked up alarmed; his dad rarely cried.

"Dad I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

Sean held his hand up silencing him.

"I know you feel responsible but if you never believe another word I say I need you to believe me when I tell you it was not your fault." His voice choked off. "Please"

Tim swallowed.

"I try Dad."

"I know you do Tim. You know I'll help you anyway I can."

"I know."

"Your team would help too if you would let them."

Tim didn't say anything so Sean continued.

"You have to let them son, you could try to do this alone and you might very well succeed. But if you let people who care about you in, that doesn't only help you, it helps them as well."

Tim looked up.

"Thanks Dad."

Sean nodded and leaned forward

"And let me tell you something else boy, it you ever, ever do anything else that leaves your mother a crying mess with me again so help me…"

Tim tried to laugh but his ribs kept him from doing it too long.

"At least the girls weren't here right?"

Sean leaned back and smiled.

"Thank God for small mercies."

* * *

Gibbs and Ducky arrived at the hospital and met Sean walking outside.

"How's it going today?"

"Eh, ok. I tried to talk to him, but I think he still feels he's too blame for the drowning back then. He just can't wrap his mind around not being responsible. He's so logical and methodical about everything. I just can't…"

"If I may interject," Ducky started to speak and Gibbs silently calculated how long he should let the Scotsman talk before he routed the conversation back to where it needed to be. He was pleasantly surprised to find as Ducky talked this might actually be more than a little related.

"There's a book call 'Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart'. The author, a West Point Graduate, makes an excellent sometime over looked point. We cannot remove with logic ideas that logic did not put there in the first place. These are emotion he is having and of course they are illogical why should they be emotions and logic are on two different sides of the brain."

"C.S. Lewis made a similar point in Mere Christianity. If you were to have your tonsils removed you would be put under and you might feel fear. Why? It's simple surgery, well trained up to date doctor good hospital, you will not feel it. Statistically you have a better chance of dying in an auto accident than of dying during tonsil surgery. The math is on your side the logic is on your side and yet that does not completely remove the fear. Because we are human and some of our fears and desires, things and people we love and want are illogical and don't make sense."

"There is no use trying to talk ourselves out of emotion. Timothy is very logical. I've always by impressed by his linear thinking. As much as you would like as much as he would like he won't get over this with logic because logic didn't get him here in the first place."

Sean just started at him while that was sinking in. He slowly nodded.

"Thank you Dr. Mallard." He said sincerely. "That's very insightful."

Gibbs tried to hide his smirk, sometimes Ducky took the long way around but this was a point well made.

They left the elder McGee outside and walked to McGee's room. They found him sitting up in bed looking a little better, his breathing still sounded shaky.

He appeared deep in though. Gibbs walked up and put his hand on Tim forehead looking at him searchingly.

"How you feeling Tim?"

He smiled weakly.

"Ok, I guess. Can't breathe real well, but the nurse said sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. Hi Ducky."

"Hello lad. Do you need the oxygen mask back? I'm sure-"

Tim waved him off as Gibbs sat down in a chair beside the bed.

"I'll be fine really."

He stopped and seemed to want to say something then stopped.

"What is it Tim?"

"I just wanted…"

"Say it"

"I remember when I was in the basement and you guys were there and you said the accident wasn't my fault…"

"It wasn't"

"I wanted to tell you, you don't understand."

Gibbs sighed. Tim's father appeared to be right, he couldn't get it through his head that he had been a victim of the accident as well.

"Don't understand what?"

"Boss it was my fault that Scarlett was there." He blurted out.

"What do you mean McGee?"

He took a deep breath.

"That day, we were playing at Brian's house and he suggested we go play on the ice, some of the older boys in the neighborhood said it was fun. I went to the bathroom before we left and when I came back Scarlett was crying. She wanted to come and Brian and Scott had told her she couldn't. She asked me if she could go. And I…She was crying and there was no reason- It wasn't like she was going to hurt anything coming with us."

"You felt sorry for her." Ducky observed

McGee nodded and swallowed

Gibbs internally cursed. All these years Tim had felt this burden of guilt simply because he was too kind to tell a crying little girl she couldn't come and play. His compassion got him into this endless cycle of guilt.

"I just-there was no reason; she wasn't going to bother us. If I had said no she would still be alive." he said miserably.

"Maybe it was Brian's fault they died." Ducky said casually.

"What?" Tim asked shocked and a little bit angry.

"He suggested playing on the ice correct? If he hadn't then no one would have died."

"You-you can't blame him, he died too."

"So the only thing that assuages his guilt is that he also perished."

"No, Ducky he didn't know and he couldn't have known that."

"My friend it is the same with you. You could not have known, you did something that had the ice not broken many years later Scarlett would have looked back and smiled at the fact that one of her brother's friends had treated her with compassion and respect though she was the annoying little sister. But fate took a cruel turn. No one can know these things, not you, not anyone."

McGee looked away and a tear slipped down his check.

"I wish…"

Gibbs thought back, McGee had said that while they were being held. He didn't finish the though and it didn't appear he would now, but Gibbs wanted to know.

"You wish what McGee" he asked quietly.

"I wish I could have saved her. I couldn't have saved Brian or Scott, they were already gone, but I was so close to her. I almost touched her hand." Another tear fell and Gibbs got up and gripped McGee shoulder as he started to shake.

"Tim" he said softly leaning close to his ear.

"You could not have prevented this and you did not deserve this. This. Was. Not. Your. Fault."

"Then why does it feel like it is" he whispered.

Gibbs shook his head sadly.

"Just one of those tricks the mind plays, son."

"It doesn't get better." Tim said sadly.

"Not a lot and not always quickly but it can, if you work at it and lean on other for support."

He nodded and a sob escaped his throat.

"I'm sorry" he said wiping his eyes.

"Don't be, there is nothing wrong with having compassion for people, it's what makes you human and the fact that you're willing and able to show it is a strength in itself."

"I guess I should have come to you."

Gibbs lightly tapped him on the back of the head.

"Ya think? When this case started and it was affecting you like this you could have come to me. And then Larson. You had a restraining order you should have used it or told me or….anything besides what you did. You can always come to me McGee. I know sometime I seem unapproachable, but I will do anything in my power to help you, to help any of you."

"I know" he said quietly. "If I could go back I would."

"Well we can't so I want you to promise nothing like this will happen again."

"It won't Boss."

"Good. And you're not resigning. If you still have the idea in your head I'm going to have to sic Abby and Tony on you."

One side of McGee's mouth turned up.

"Don't you think I've been through enough Boss?"

Gibbs smirked and Ducky began to laugh.

* * *

Gibbs caught Tony in the hall heading towards McGee's room with a suspicious looking bag. He shook his head and caught his senior field agent by the arm.

"Don't say anything to McGee about Wilson yet, Tony."

"I wasn't going to, but why?"

"I don't want him to know yet. I'm trying to get some solid answers and I don't have any yet."

"You trying to think of a way to tell him Abby hacked into his personal computer." Tony smirked

"No DiNozzo, he's trying to deal with Larson. I don't want to keep adding things to his plate."

Tony turned serious.

"Right Boss, just going to go visit. Hey!" He started to reach into the bag. "I found this really cool old replica of the Magnum PI Ferrari I was going to show him. It was just sitting-"

Instead of listening to Tony Gibbs pushed him down the hall towards Tim's room.

Tony was still chattering away when he got to the door.

Tim rolled his eyes and did his best not to smile.

"Hey McSleepyhead, every time I come here you're out. If I didn't have such great self confidence I would have thought you were avoiding me."

"You know I'm feeling really sleepy right now."

"Oh no! You have got to see this."

Tony continued on about Magnum and movies for several minutes until Tim interrupted.

"Hey Tony"

"Yeah McGeek?"

"Thanks"

"For what?"

"Everything, just…not being serious."

"Hey not being serious is what I'm best at."

McGee smiled.

"Yeah I know, but every time my parents or Gibbs or Ducky are here….they want to talk about things that I just…don't really want to think about now. So I guess thanks for not doing that."

"No problem comrade."

He leaned forward.

"You do know you can talk to me if you need to though. I know you have your dad and Gibbs but I," he spread his arms, "happened to be a great listener. I mean not as good as the functional mute, but way better than Energizer Abby."

Tim chuckled.

"You better hope she never finds out you said that. She'll kill you and leave no forensic evidence."

"The Goth is very scary when she's mad almost more scary than Gibbs-"

Tony stopped and froze.

"He's behind me?" He mouthed to Tim.

Tim smiled and shook his head so Tony settled back into his story.

"Ok so anyway, like I was saying…"

* * *

**Thought I would end with some brother time. I do so love it when they get along.**

**Happy early Mother's Day to all you wonderful ladies. Thanks for all you do!**


	25. Chapter 25

**I'm so glad everyone liked the last chapter. Thank you for all the kind words.**

**Hope everyone, especially all you mothers, had a happy mother's day. :)**

**Slightly shorter chapter, but I wanted to get it up before Tuesday's episode. I will post again later in the week.**

* * *

An hour later Tony had talked through many subjects and circled back around to cars and old TV shows when he noticed McGee was beginning to blink heavily.

"Well I guess I should leave. I'll see you soon Tim. Oh hey, almost forgot, if you get a chance try and get Tracy's number for me."

"Who is Tracy?" McGee asked baffled.

"Your third shift nurse." Tony asked equally confused. "She is so hot! I can't believe you haven't noticed."

McGee rolled his eyes

"Had other things on my mind DiNozzo."

"Yeah whatever McNerd. See you tomorrow."

"Tony, wait."

"What's up?"

"What-What's wrong with Ziva?"

Tony tried to keep a poker face.

"What do you mean?"

"Seriously, you lie worse than I do." McGee paused. "Is she mad at me?"

Tony laughed humorlessly

"Oh, she's mad, but not at you."

"Then who?"

"Herself"

"Why?"

"Umm, what do you remember about the basement?"

"M-most of it." Tim faltered

"She was trying to pick the lock..." He said trying to lead his probie into it.

"She did pick the lock." Tim said confused.

Tony sighed.

"Not the first time."

"I'm still not tracking Tony."

"She dropped the first pick McGee. Do you remember that?"

He nodded.

"She feels responsible for Larson…uh…that last time."

Tim was vigorously shaking his head.

"She shouldn't."

"Yeah well, I tried to tell her that."

Tim was silent

"I could tell her."

"I think that would be helpful, I mean I hope it would be. Honestly at this point I'm not sure she would even listen to you. She still isn't comfortable here. Give her a little time. She'll come when she's ready."

* * *

The days passed. Tony and Abby were frequent visitors as were Gibbs, Ducky, and Palmer. Several times Abby had snuck out of the office to visit the hospital. _Snuck_ being the operative word as Gibbs had gone down to her lab at least twice that week to find not the Goth, but a note that said _Gone to see Timmy, call if you need me_, complete with skulls at the bottom. Gibbs had left smiling and shaking his head.

Ziva, however, would only come with someone else. She didn't think she could face Tim alone. Tony told her that Tim didn't blame her, but she really wasn't sure that would last once what she did sunk in with him. He was too overwhelmed now but eventually he would realize her part in all of this and she didn't know if he would forgive her.

Exactly one week after McGee had opened his eyes. Tony and Gibbs were walking down the hallway to McGee's room. Sean was walking toward them looking exhausted.

"Is everything ok? How is he doing?" Gibbs asked a little concerned at how haggard the man looked.

Sean sighed.

"Physically he progressing as well as can be expected." He said robotically. "Mentally," he shook his head. "I don't know what to do. Last night was bad. Lot of nightmares."

He frowned

"Yesterday a nurse, not one of the regular nurses so she didn't know, but she came in to wash her hands and the water…spooked him. I don't know what I need to…He just fell asleep a little bit ago so I'm going to get some coffee and clear my head."

"You mind if we sit with him for a while?"

"No please go ahead."

Gibbs and Tony arrived to the room, the door was shut, but they could hear something coming from inside.

"What's that sound?" Tony asked

Dread filled Gibbs as he realized what the noise would do to his young agent.

"It's the shower."

He reached the door and yanked it open. He started to open the bathroom door when he glanced over and was shocked to see Tim's bed empty. He quickly reached the bathroom with Tony right on his heels.

When they opened the door a pitiful sight met them. McGee was sitting huddled in the corner while the shower ran full blast. Gibbs turned off the water and quickly knelt in front of his agent.

Tim was trembling, his eyes screwed shut. He was breathing heavily punctuated by whimpers and mumbles. His right knee was pulled up to his chest while his left leg was stiffly stretched out in front of him. The nurses had given him a pair of shorts to preserve his modestly while still allowing access to his injuries and he wore a thin robe. Gibbs couldn't image how he had gotten in here on his own, if that was in fact the case.

Tony was so angry for a moment he couldn't think straight. He quickly regained his composure and joined Gibbs kneeling by Tim's side.

"Shh, Tim it's ok. You're fine. The water's gone. It can't hurt you." Gibbs said trying to sooth him.

His breathing finally slowed and he slowly opened his eyes. They were unfocused at first but finally began to look at Gibbs with some recognition. When he was sure the young man would understand he asked his question.

"Who did this?" Gibbs asked trying very hard to keep his voice calm and even, at a loss to understand how anyone could be so cruel.

Tim looked at him.

"I did."

Gibbs did a double take and Tony was speechless.

"Why?"

Tim looked at him so desperately it tore at his heart.

"I-I c-can't be afraid of water." He said simply. "I can't be afraid of water." He repeated as he buried his face in his knee and Gibbs heard a soft sob. Gibbs sat silent for a minute then put his hand on Tim's shoulder.

"Tim, do you want to do this? We, me and Tony, we will help you if you want to do this."

"Y-y-yes."

"Are you sure?"

McGee nodded slowly.

"Ok, listen, you say stop and it's over. Got it?"

Another nod.

"Tony, turn the water back on and help me get him up."

"Boss…"

Tony did not think this was a good idea. A large part of his apprehension was due to the fact he didn't think McGee could handle it and his stomach turned at the thought of having to watch him struggle yet again. However another part of him was afraid that once the water started McGee would not be able to distinguish friend from foe. He didn't want his partner to start to associate him with the torture he had come to dread so much.

"T-Tony, pl-please." McGee looked up at him. "I-I can do it."

Tony mustered up a weak smile.

"Ok, McTim. You're on."

Tony turned on the water and started towards McGee. Tim let out a small whimper that made Tony flinch.

"Tim, when you're done just say stop." Gibbs reminded.

He nodded. Gibbs wasn't really sure of the best way to get McGee up. He certainly couldn't put any weight on his injured knee, but he didn't want to put too much pressure on his still healing ribs. The burns and bruises had mostly healed so at least they didn't have to worry about that. Somehow he and Tony hoisted McGee up and supported him as he slowly made his way toward the shower.

Several times he started to stop before they got there, but finally they were standing inches away from the water pouring down. Tony looked over at his friend and was upset to see the terror and uncertainty in his eyes. Gibbs gently took his arm and brought his hand to the edge of the water. Tim started to close his eyes.

"Tim open your eyes, you're not going back there. You need to see that you're here, not there."

He forced them back open as Gibbs guided his hand under the shower spray. McGee flinched then shuddered as it came in contact and began breathing heavily.

"Relax Tim, just breath. See, it's ok, it's just water."

Tim's breathing slowed but only slightly. His knees started to buckle.

"Stop, p-please stop." Gibbs reached out at the sound of the first syllable and shut off the water as he and Tony struggled to keep McGee upright.

"Come on son let's get you back into bed." He leaned heavily on Gibbs and Tony and when they finally reached it he collapsed on the bed. Tony pressed the call button as he and Gibbs attempted to make McGee more comfortable.

"Aquaphobia."

"What?" Gibbs leaned in closer to hear the softly spoken word.

"Aquaphobia is the fear of w-water Boss." McGee was struggling to keep his eyes open. Gibbs nodded.

"Try to go to sleep Tim." He said gently.

"It's called a p-phobia because it ir-irrational and debilitating. T-that's what separates it from just a regular fear." His words were getting softer and more slurred.

"Uh huh, go to sleep Tim." Gibbs said a little more commandingly. Secretly he was pleased his agent had reverted back, at least partially, to giving lectures on semantics to his boss and co-worker.

"Yes Boss." Gibbs wasn't sure he was even awake to say those last words.

The nurse arrived and was more than a little upset at seeing her patient so pale and having apparently removed his IVs in an attempt to make it to the bathroom. She cornered Gibbs and Tony to get the story of how he ended up this way and thankfully they were able to make a discreet exit as she started to do a quick checking of his vital and reinsert the IV's.

* * *

Tony weaved his way through the cafeteria table and found Tim's parents sitting quietly talking.

Olivia looked up and smiled.

Tony, how are you? Do you want to join us?

"Oh, no thank you. I actually have to get back to work." He turned to Sean. "I just wanted to let you know you were right."

Sean looked at him quizzically.

"About what?"

"About Tim. You said he was tougher than he lets on and that he was going to be ok. You were right."

* * *

**Ok I have never actually been tortured, not even close so I don't know if what I wrote Tim doing was even remotely possible for someone in that state. I think the character of Timothy McGee is braver than he is given credit for so I wanted to do that justice.**

**Thanks again for reading. :)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hi everyone, happy weekend! Sorry to be so late posting. Thank you for the reviews. People seemed to like the last chapter, I'm so glad. :) I have a few more story ideas, but like I have said I can't post multiple at once. I get too distracted! Maybe one day I will be able to. **

**Enjoy your weekend!**

* * *

While Tony was talking to the McGees Gibbs found Ducky and laid out what had just happened.

"He was trying to force himself to get over it." Ducky said thoughtfully.

"Is that a good idea?"

Ducky was silent for a few moments.

"If someone else had forced him to do it I would say absolutely not, but he did it himself. It is encouraging to see his will and determination to rid himself of this demon. You said he wasn't hysterical or hyperventilating?"

Gibbs throat tightened as he remembered the fear he had watched Tim struggle with. He shook his head.

"He was scared Duck." He shook his head again. "I just-" He broke off.

"It could have been much worse." Ducky said gently. "I believe with his resolve he will stand a fighting chance. He will need support and understanding."

"He has it."

"I know, just make certain that Timothy knows as well."

* * *

McGee slowly blinked awake, he felt so drained which confused him because he had thought he had been getting better. For a moment he couldn't figure out where he was, then it hit all at once.

The water rushing, that horrible sound filling his ears, not being able to breathe. Tony and Gibbs. He slowly relaxed; Tony and Gibbs had been there, helping him, supporting him. He had gone in the bathroom to try and get over this once and for all, having decided he couldn't spend the rest of his life not able to listen to the sound of water. He had freaked out when one of the nurses had turned on the faucet. He didn't want to be that way the rest of his life. It probably wasn't the best idea, but he had to do something, anything to get over this fear.

In his peripheral vision he saw something to his right that caught his attention and when he glanced over he was surprised to see Ziva sitting quietly in a chair watching him. It was a little unnerving, she was so still and quiet just sitting there looking at him.

He cleared his throat.

"Hi Ziva"

A ghost of a smile appeared across her lips.

"Hello McGee"

"How are you doing?" he asked gently.

"I am fine." she said simply

It was almost funny; he wanted to laugh but didn't want to insult her. The whole week people had been trying to get him to talk, to make him feel better and now he was the one trying to draw someone else out. It also felt strangely relieving to be able to try to help someone else.

He decided to jump right in.

"Ziva, Tony told me what you think. It wasn't your fault, I don't blame you."

"Just because you do not blame me does not mean I am not at fault."

"Does anyone besides you blame you?"

She thought back to the conversations she had had with Ducky and Tony. Two days ago Gibbs had stopped by her desk and given her the 4th headslap of her career leaning in to whisper.

"David, I will not have you blaming yourself for this and if you would go and visit McGee he wouldn't either."

She shook her head.

"If Gibbs doesn't blame you are you really going to blame yourself?"

He smiled at her to show he was teasing, but she was not ready to let it go.

"You would have every right to be angry. I caused you more pain."

"Ziva" he said gently "there is no doubt in my mind you were doing the very best you could. You didn't do it on purpose."

"But-" she started to interrupt.

"And" he continued a little louder "it's human to make mistakes, that's all it was a human mistake."

She lifted her head and McGee was surprised to see tears in her eyes.

"It hurt me to see you suffer" she said softly "and to know that I was the cause of it."

He shook his head.

"You didn't cause this Ziva; it was Larson and only him, you had not part of it." He took a shaky breath "Beside it wasn't the first time it had happened so... "

"McGee because it wasn't the first time made it worse. I have been told waterboarding only gets worse each successive time, that is why it is so effective at gaining information. Did you not find that to be true?"

He hesitated

"Y-yes"

"Then that is why I am sorry."

"Ziva I don't blame you and I never will. And the only thing I will ever ask of you is that you please forgive yourself."

She gave a small smile.

"I will try."

She leaned in a gently kissed his cheek.

"You have been a good friend to me for many years McGee. Toda.

"I still consider you a friend. That hasn't changed. If you hadn't picked the lock I'd probably be dead. You saved my life Ziva. Thank you." He said sincerely

If McGee hadn't known any better he would have said Ziva actually blushed.

* * *

The days seemed to go quicker after that. Ziva was now added to the list of frequent visitors sitting watch at her friend's bedside. McGee was feeling a little better each day and the doctor, satisfied with his progress decided that he could be discharged on a Wednesday, a week after Gibbs and Tony had found him in the bathroom. He would still need someone to stay with him. There had been many discussions about where Tim would go and finally the matter had been settled to the satisfaction of _most_ parties involved.

"Sean McGee if you think for one minute that I'm just going to go home and abandon my son in this-this town you must be out of your mind." Olivia was saying sticking her finger in her husband's chest. He was slowly backing up which was almost laughable to see given that he had at least 7 inches and 80 lbs on her. Gibbs smiled. Apparently Mrs. McGee had more spirit than they had given her credit for.

"Mom you're not abandoning me and please stop talking about me like I'm not here." Tim said as he shook his head.

"I don't think it's right for us to leave you. No offense Agent Gibbs, but you're not a mother, certainly not Tim's mother."

Gibbs smirked and his grin got even wider when he saw the embarrassment on Tim's face

"And I'm not a child." Tim reminded her.

"Olivia we have been talking about this for half an hour. You and I have been gone for 2 weeks, we both have jobs. He is not in critical condition; he is being discharged from a reputable hospital by a reputable doctor. You, I, or both of us are coming up next weekend. The boy can stay with Agent Gibbs, he seems he would rather, Gibbs said he didn't mind. I don't see the problem."

Olivia tittered around for a few more minutes, very dissatisfied with the arrangement.

She looked Gibbs square in the eye.

"You will call me if there are any problems?"

"Absolutely Mrs. McGee"

"Mom! It will be fine, please stop worrying."

"I'd much rather you come home with us sweetheart."

Tim gave her one more look

"It's a long flight Mom. I can go back to desk duty at work soon, it's better that I stay in town."

"You think you're going back to work soon young man?"

"No Mrs. McGee, it won't be soon." Gibbs said decidedly.

It was true Tim was much better than when he came to the hospital but he was still weak and wore-out very easily, still suffering the effects of the pneumonia. Gibbs had no intention of letting Tim push himself too hard too quickly or feel like someone else was expecting him to. He was also not completely satisfied that he wasn't feeling guilt from the whole incident.

"Anything else you'd like to say Liv?"

"Sean don't get me started on all I'd like to say."

Tim sighed and closed his eyes while Gibbs continued to smirk.

Tim finally convinced his dad to try and get his mom to leave before the discharge time, figuring if she were around she would make a last ditch effort to take him home with her and quite frankly he didn't put kidnapping past her at this point.

Somehow it was managed and Gibbs and Ducky were the only two there when Tim was released. Tony and Abby had gone to his apartment to pick up clothes and Ziva and Palmer were out shopping for liquid foods that McGee would be able to eat with his still wired jaw.

McGee's knee was now protected with a brace and he had been undergoing physical therapy. It was a bit difficult to maneuver since he couldn't use crutches because his arm was in a cast as well. He also didn't want to admit to anyone how sore he still was from the trauma he had been through. Gibbs and Ducky seemed to know however and were extremely gentle in getting him out of the hospital and into the car. McGee was so exhausted that it didn't take long for him to nod off and he only woke up when he felt a hand on his knee.

"McGee, we're here."

It was another struggle getting into the house, luckily the spare bedroom was on the first floor close to the front door. Gibbs helped him to the bed while Ducky went to get some water for the pain pill.

"Get some rest McGee. I'll come get you for supper."

McGee nodded then hesitated.

"Say it McGee"

"I appreciate you letting me stay here Boss. I probably could have gone home with my parents, but-"

"It's not a problem McGee, not even a little bit. Glad you're here."

Ducky was back with the pills. After they were gone he helped the young man get situated. McGee was already half asleep when he felt the covers being pulled up over him and tucked in.

* * *

**I'm pretty sure 4 headslaps for Ziva is right. Once in the elevator when she first started, once during the episode Deception, and once during the episode where the ambulance exploded when she and Tony were looking at pictures of Sarah.**

**The next chapter should be my last. It is getting harder to write. I am much better at bringing up issues than I am at resolving them. Thanks for your patience. :) You guys are awesome!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Ok, I buckled down and finished it! Last chapter! Hopefully everything will get wrapped up to the satisfaction of most/all people. You guys have been so incredibly wonderful to me. :) I cherish all the comments and suggestion. **

**Thank you again and enjoy the chapter! Hopefully I will have another story started again in a few weeks. We only have one more new NCIS episode. :(**

* * *

"Tim"

He was pulled out of sleep by a familiar voice and a hand on his shoulder. He slowly blinked awake. Gibbs was standing over him.

"Supper ready, come on you need to eat something."

Gibbs helped him up and out of bed. He could put a little weight on his knee, but not much for too long or it would buckle under him.

They got to the kitchen and he was surprised to see Abby, Palmer, Tony and Ziva there along with six smoothies of different flavors. Tim felt guilty about everyone having to eat the soft food for dinner just because he had to but they all insisted it was fine. They stayed for several hours afterwards until Gibbs, seeing Tim was quickly fading, herded everyone out. Almost everyone. Abby was sure when he said they all needed to leave he couldn't possibly mean her.

"But Gibbs-"

"Abby he's tired."

"I won't do anything to make him more tired. Can I please sit with him? I brought Burt to leave for company."

She _was_ his favorite so he finally conceded with the admonishment to be quiet.

She went to the door of his room and found Tim already lying in bed seemingly asleep. She quietly sneaked in and pulled a chair beside the bed. She put Burt beside him and sat back. It didn't take her long to lean forward again and gently stoke his face.

"I never apologized to you Timmy." She whispered. "You didn't lose the evidence and even if you had that was no excuse for the way I treated you. You're one of my best friends and you're a great investigator. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you and you didn't feel you could trust me or anyone with what you were going through. I'm sorry I was mean and I promise to never ever do it again. Now please get better and come back to work because I need you."

"Need you too Abs" a soft voice whispered in the dark.

"You forgive me Timmy?" She asked hopefully.

"Before you even asked."

Abby smiled and carefully crawled up on the other side of the bed. She snuggled up against him and drifted off to sleep.

Outside the door Gibbs smiled.

* * *

A few days went by and a routine had been established. Gibbs stayed home for a several days until McGee was a little stronger, one or more of the team was always there for supper at night and afterward Tony would help McGee with his knee exercises and therapy. Tim insisted after the first night that no one else go without solid food just for his benefit when they were there. Gibbs was harder to convince. He hated the shakes and smoothies, but didn't want his agent to have to suffer alone again. It would be a few more weeks until the wires could come completely out since his jaw had been one of the most severely broken bones of the whole sordid incident.

Tim's parents came up the promised weekend and while Olivia fussed over him she was greatly pleased to see how much better he looked and apparently felt.

* * *

One evening after everyone had left; Tim and Gibbs were sitting watching TV in silence when Gibbs' phone rang.

"Yeah, Gibbs"

He listened for a few minutes then stepped outside to continue talking. Tim was a little curious, but shrugged it off. Gibbs came back in after 20 minutes and shut off the TV.

"Umm Boss, is everything ok?"

"We need to talk about something."

Now McGee was a little nervous.

"What exactly?"

"Robert Wilson has resigned his post."

McGee froze, the only reason this would matter to Gibbs, the only reason he would feel the need to talk about it with him was that he knew. McGee closed his eyes. He had not wanted Gibbs to find out. There was silence for a long time. McGee was waiting for Gibbs to say something and Gibbs wanted to see where McGee, if left to his own devices, would take the conversation.

"He just quit?" McGee finally asked. It was the only question he could think of that seemed neutral and didn't betray his raging emotion.

"Scuttlebutt is he was persuaded. Took a loss of pension to keep an honorable discharge."

McGee was silent again. Gibbs decided he would have to draw him out.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"He's your friend." McGee said quietly knowing exactly what Gibbs was talking about.

"He _was_ my friend." Gibbs corrected. "Were you afraid I wouldn't believe you or you didn't want to hurt me?" He had read the answer in Tim's IM chat with his friend but he wanted to hear it from the man.

"Both I guess. I didn't want you or Tony to find out."

"Tim-"

"You shouldn't have done this." Tim said attempting to stand. He put too much pressure on his left knee, that coupled with his attempt to turn sent him back down to the couch with a cry of pain. Gibbs was up in an instant by his side.

"Damn it, McGee. Stop trying to push yourself, just sit still."

"It doesn't matter Boss." Tim hissed out in pain through clenched teeth looking away. "It happened a long time ago."

Gibbs frowned.

"Look at me."

Tim sat still for a long time but finally made eye contact with Gibbs.

"It does matter, it matters a great deal. What happened to you was wrong, even if it had just been the kids. It's a hundred times worse because an adult was involved."

"They were hurt Boss, they didn't…"

Gibbs was stunned. He didn't even expect this kind of passivity from McGee

"You were hurt too, I'd say a lot worse than any of them. And what about Wilson, he had no excuse, none whatsoever."

McGee had begun to look down again and fiddle with his hands.

"Boss, you think I was a victim."

"Tim I know you were."

"You remember at the lake, when we found Teal's body."

"Yeah"

"And those kids had drowned because that guy didn't react quickly enough."

Gibbs didn't like where this was going but he decided to let McGee finish.

"I asked Ducky later if they would be alive if he had reacted quicker and you said they drowned because he froze up."

Gibbs closed his eyes as he remembered the words. He had failed to look at the young man's face after he said it, but looking at it now he could imagine the devastation that day.

"I was wrong, Tim, the chances are good that even if he had acted immediately the current would have pulled them under too fast."

"You were pretty sure that day."

"Tim it's different."

"No-no it isn't-"

"You were a kid" Gibbs erupted. Not the direction he had wanted this conversation to go but he was finding out more and more that when Tim got on a guilt trip he couldn't be reasoned with. "You were nine years old. You would never expect that from anyone else except you. Why are you different from any other kid out there?"

Tim put his face in his hands and started to shake. Gibbs had always known the young man was responsible but it wasn't until this case that he saw how heavy the burden of responsibility was to him, how much he actually took on himself.

Gibbs pulled the young man close as he began to softly cry.

"Do you trust me Tim?"

No words but he felt a nod in his chest.

"Then trust me now, this wasn't your fault, none of it. Just one of those things in life that happens. We wish we could change them but we can't. I'll tell you as often as you need to hear it but I need you to try and believe it."

"I'll try" came the whispered reply.

"And Tim, you don't need to hide something like Wilson from me again. I would never put someone like that above you or Tony or Ziva. You three are like my kids. What he did was wrong. You should have said something to me, you should have come to me. I could have helped you. I would have done anything in my power to help you Tim."

McGee nodded again.

Gibbs sighed as the tears continued to come.

* * *

McGee convinced Gibbs that he should be allowed to go back on desk duty a month after he was released from the hospital. It was not without cost however. Gibbs had only agreed on the condition that every day at 2:00pm sharp McGee would meet with the NCIS psychologist. He also stipulated that at least two topics must be discussed: the torture he had endured as well as childhood guilt that had never properly healed.

It was one such day a few weeks afterwards that the NCIS agents arrived to work amidst dark storm clouds. Tim and Gibbs were already at their desks when Ziva and Tony arrived. When McGee excused himself to the head Ziva looked over at Gibbs.

"There are supposed to be strong storms today Gibbs."

"Didn't know you had taken such an interest in the weather Ziva."

"You know why I mention it Gibbs."

Gibbs nodded.

"What happens if he freaks out Boss?" Tony asked coming up to his desk.

"You two, nothing has even happened yet. We wait and see how he handles it to then decide how we need to respond, not before. Clear?"

"Yes, Boss"

"Yes, Gibbs"

McGee returned looking nervously at the dark clouds. He sat down without a word.

"Hey Probie, did you happen to catch that Die Hard movie marathon last night?"

"Yeah Tony" McGee said swallowing "you called me and I watched most of it until I went to bed."

"Please tell me you at least got to the part where he jumps from the helicopter and-"

A thunder clapped interrupted him . The rain started slowly and gradually picked up speed hitting the windows with alarming force, but no one really noticed. They were watching McGee watch the rain.

McGee's breathing started to quicken slightly. Gibbs had been watching Tim intently and his face softened at the still lingering effect the sound had on him.

"McGee why don't you go down to autopsy and see if Ducky has anything for you to do." He gently suggested knowing autopsy would muffle out the noise of the rain.

"Boss I'd rather stay here and work." he said softly.

Everyone was quiet, pretending to go back to work, but they were all watching McGee closely. The rain continued to pound down. McGee made no sound but he couldn't look away. Gibbs sighed and got up.

Tim lost in the memories thought he heard his name but he couldn't be sure.

"McGee" Gibbs repeated squatting so he was at eye level with the young man. "You ok?

With something other than the rain to focus on McGee took a deep breath. One corner of his mouth went up in a weak smile the other corner slowly joined it.

"Getting better Boss, getting a little better."

* * *

**Thank you all so much for reading. The kind words, encouragement, corrections, and alerts were absolutely wonderful. Everyone has been so sweet to me, especially for my first story.**

**Again, I hope to write another story, I have ideas, but it will probably be several week while I catch up on stuff!**

**God Bless! :)**


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